


Caught in the Crossfire

by BlacksteelAlchemist



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2020-10-28 00:42:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 41,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20769659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlacksteelAlchemist/pseuds/BlacksteelAlchemist
Summary: Dr. Emily Brooks is new to the BAU, and soon finds herself in the arms of unit chief, Aaron Hotchner.Serial killers aren't the only problem for them as they deal with the trials and tribulations of a forbidden fraternization.“A well written Criminal Minds fanfiction that not only focuses on the story aspect but also the characters and character interaction and development. Characters are well written, in character and the story is like watching an episode in my head. 10/10 would recommend.” - GracetheauthorUPDATE: Chapter names have been edited with chapter songs, and quotes added to each chapter in the summary.And I'm always open to CM RPs on Discord, if anyone is interested, hmu with your info in the comments. <3Love it? Hate it? Needs improvement? Feel free to leave a comment.





	1. Start of Something Good

**Author's Note:**

> Still a work in progress, some chapters will be edited in more and added to.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I could not tell you if I loved you the first moment I saw you, or if it was the second, or third, or fourth. But I remember the first moment I looked at you walking toward me and realized that somehow, the rest of the world seemed to vanish when I was with you.” — Cassandra Clare
> 
> The song for this chapter is Start of Something Good by Daughtry.

This was it. It was her chance to make an impression on the BAU.

[Emily Brooks](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/b3/b3/61/b3b361ef663de762a12dbd776533ec6d.jpg), 27, sat silently in the bullpen for the Behavioral Analysis Unit. She saw a few people looking at her, whispering, namely a muscular black guy and a blonde female with glasses. Emily noticed the way the blonde was dressed, and the thought went through her mind How can she be an agent dressed like that? And her hair definitely isn't regulation...

She stood about 5'07" to be exact. Her long, chestnut brown hair was free from any confines, which most female agents had pulled back when it was as long as hers. And her big blue eyes were so sympathetic, they looked like they hadn't seen anything near what she had.

Even though she'd only, officially, been an agent for about 2 years, this was her test to join one of, if not the, best team in the FBI. She had been told to apply the moment she passed the academy, what with her two doctorates and all, even though she had originally wanted to work in the Human Trafficking department. She tried working there, but it didn't work out so well. Live victims, were too hard for her to work with.

Emily looked down at herself, making sure her pleated skirt was perfect, along with her cream tie-front blouse. She held her portfolio, that contained her resume and her doctoral dissertations for criminology and psychology, close to her chest. Emily was incredibly nervous. She looked around the bullpen, trying to find a familiar face, or something to reassure her. But the multiple pairs of eyes starring at her, unnerved her.

"Dr. Brooks?" Emily looked up to the offices, a man, whom she assumed was [SSA Aaron Hotchner](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/criminalminds/images/4/47/S10_-_AH_1.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20170528045715), spoke out her name.  
"That's me." She stood up, and she could see the slight surprise on his, and in the faces of the other two who had been observing her. She quickly moved up the steps and met him at the doorway for his office.  
"I guess I shouldn't be surprised by your age. We have another resident genius."  
"I'm not a genius, I just study. A lot. Well, I guess if you look at my IQ I'm just "gifted"... My IQ is 154." She replied. Dr. Reid's was 187.  
"That's still commendable. Do you mind if we get started?"  
"Let's." Emily agreed, and stepped into his office, and Hotch closed the door.

Aaron Hotchner went behind his desk, and offered with his hand for her to take a seat, "Please, feel free to sit."  
"Thank you, sir." And she sat.  
Hotch sat as well, and opened a rather large file, which Emily wasn't sure if it was all her or other applicants too.  
"You graduated third in your class at Stanford University for your undergrad which you attended on a full ride, and went on for your doctoral studies at Princeton." Hotch said, "That's very impressive."  
"Thank you, sir." She said again. "Like I said, I study a lot."  
"I don't believe you can ever study too much."  
Emily chuckled, "My late fiancé would probably disagree with that." She said, "He always thought he was a huge nerd, and he said I made him look normal." She smiled lightly, and looked down at her lap.  
"I'm sorry for your loss." Hotch said softly.  
"Thank you." This time, there was no "sir", she was talking to him on a human level, not employee to employer, but that changed back in a second, as she looked back up at him, so Hotch looked back down at her resume.  
"I also, got a glowing recommendation from the human trafficking unit. You've already been profiling. Do you mind me asking, why the switch?"  
Emily grew quiet, "I'd much rather deal with deceased victims." She said after a minute. "I can get the job done with live victims... But I'd much rather be dealing with DOAs."  
"We do deal with live victims here, though it's not as often as in the human trafficking unit."  
"I can do it. As long as it's not every day." Aaron could sense something horrific had happened that she wasn't mentioning. If it came up, he hoped she'd mention it so it wouldn't effect her job performance.  
"Overall, you look like the best candidate for the job. And I was hoping you'd be willing to take it?"  
"Yes! Yes, of course."  
"We're actually about to meet at the round table for a case... If you wanted to start today."  
"I would love to."  
Hotch stood up, and offered her his hand, "Welcome to the team, Dr. Brooks."


	2. Wanted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takes place during Pleasure is My Business 4.16  
Song for the chapter is Wanted by Hunter Hayes
> 
> "Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind." - William Shakespeare

_About a year later_

"Hi, my name is Emily... And I'm an alcoholic."  
"Hi Emily." The room chanted.  
"I've been sober 3 years and 90 days..... I'm in for my monthly tune up..." She sighed, "I started drinking when I was 11 years old. I used to sneak vodka into school in water bottles. My foster brother used to get it for me and we'd drink together too... before he died. He was killed in a car crash when I was 14, he was 18.... We used to sneak vodka from our foster dad's liquor cabinet, and dilute his stash." She chuckled softly to herself at the memory. She grew quiet for a moment.  
"I was abused by my foster dad since I was 8 til 14. My foster mom blamed me, and liked to use me as a punching bag. My other foster brother one day found out and beat him with a bat and threatened to kill the son of a bitch." She looked at her feet.  
"I ended up engaged to that foster brother, I was crazy about him. I stopped drinking the first time when we moved out, I nearly died. I was 15, he was 18. I went on to ivy league, at Stanford University, studying criminal justice. He was a few years ahead of me, and on to their law program when... When he was murdered. We were robbed at gun point, and I started drinking again. Like a fish. I don't know how I managed to graduate, and go on to grad school at Princeton. I was getting ready to hand over my doctoral thesis, and.... I don't know, I knew I wanted to work for the FBI, so I just quit. I didn't even go through withdrawal nearly as bad as I thought I would.  
"So here I am, three years and 90 days later."

* * *

_The next morning. _

"Gooooooood morning, Brooks." Morning? What time was it? Emily had been sitting at her desk, trying to finish some paperwork so that they could officially close a case, when a whipped-cream topped iced white chocolate mocha appeared before her, and she looked up to see the handsome "Baby Boy" or "Chocolate Thunder" Derek Morgan, who had a giant smile on his face.  
"Oooh, thank you." She smiled, anything with chocolate and coffee would have hit the spot at that moment. "What's the occasion?"  
"Oh, nothing. Just, you know, Hotch being gone 'n all..."  
"And you think I'm here this early because-"  
"Oh I don't think you left at all last night. Am I right?"  
Emily pursed her lips. "N-no... I went home."  
"You're wearing clothes from your go-bag."  
"I... Changed out my clothes in my go-bag."  
"Uh-huh." Derek said, sassily. "I think you keepin' your pretty little butt busy because you're missin' the boss man."  
"So not true."  
"Oh?"  
"I've got paperwork that's totally overdue, and Hotch will kill me if it's not done. He really wants to close two cases, and I still have work I have to do on them."  
"Excuses, escuses." He teased, and Emily gently pushed him, with a soft, "Asshat".

"Hey guys," JJ quickly moved through the bullpen, "Hotch says we have a case."  
"No roundtable?" Emily and Derek said in unison, and Emily raised an eyebrow, and looked over at the bustling blonde.  
"Hotch is already in Dallas, he says that he and Penelope will present the case on our way there. Go get your go-bag. As Hotch says, "Wheels up in thirty"."  
"Got it."

* * *

It didn't take them any time to get themselves to the jet. They were, unfortunately, more than accustomed to this.

"Hello, my crime-fighters. So, as of last night, there have been two rich, powerful men murdered in expensive hotel rooms in Dallas, Texas." Penelope Garcia said through a monitor on the BAU's private jet. "So far, they assume both men were there to meet an "escort"." Penelope added the air quotes for emphasis.  
"Technically the term escort is inaccurate. An escort is a paid date, this woman's service was clearly sex. So she's a prostitute." Emily murmured, scanning the documents in the file she had before her.  
Spencer Reid sat up, "Female serial killers are a fascinating field. We don't have much information on them, But what we do know involves throwing the rules completely out the window. Signature, for instance. They don't torture or take trophies."  
"Cause there's no sexual gratification when a woman kills." Morgan said from his seat.  
And Reid was quick to respond, "Exactly. Murder is the goal. They don't have to do anything extra."  
"So, basically, women are more efficient at killing." Emily Prentiss said, there was a small smile on her face as she spoke highly of her own gender.  
"Historically, they have had body counts in the hundreds."  
"Because women don't generally kill for nothing. Normally when they do kill, there's a reason behind it. Sending a message or a psychosis. Like Andrea Yates. She drowned all five of her children because she had an extreme case of postpartum depression." Emily Brooks said. 

Hotch's voice sounded over a phone sitting between them on the table. "So assuming that the job is the stressor... What are some of the reasons prostitutes kill their customers?" And Morgan immediately looked over to the brunette sitting next to David Rossi on the couch, making sure to catch the look in her eyes when she heard him speak, and he smirked, but responded to their boss.  
"Money, drugs, post-traumatic stress disorder."  
Rossi decided to chime in, "At some point, every call girl, no matter how well paid, gets coerced into an activity she didn't consent to."  
"Which is generally drugs, rape, or being pimped out." Emily said.  
"Aileen Wuornos used to purposefully stage paid sexual encounters as an excuse to murder men she thought would rape her." Emily Prentiss added on.  
Hotch's voice was heard again, "But Wuornos was psychotic and disorganized. I think this girl's poisoning them before she has sex with them."  
"She's using tetra-methylene-disulfotetramine. It's a popular rat poison in China. Easily soluble in alcohol."  
"Poison is the perfect MO. Quiet, quick, and the victims never see it coming because they think they're getting lucky." Rossi paused, "Does that mean something to you?" He asked Hotch.  
"Well, at $10,000 a night, these men are paying for discretion as well as sex."  
"She has a history with them. They see her repeatedly."  
"She didn't decide to kill them in the moment. She walks in with the intent to kill them and she's doing it before she sleeps with them."  
"So she's not just organized, she's also methodical." Reid said.  
Going off of Reid, Morgan added, "She decides early which one of her clients are worth killing and which aren't, and plans accordingly."  
"There's something that sets her off about each victim." Emily said, her brows furrowed.  
"Maybe the victims all share the same fetish?" Prentiss suggested.  
"Both victims were in their 50s, highly visible. Careful about their image. I mean, if they were kinky in the same way, they'd go to great lengths to hide it."  
"Maybe blackmail gone wrong?" Emily said, looking back down at the crime scene photos.  
"And we're facing a corporate culture that'll do everything it can to keep us out." Hotch said.  
JJ perked up, "Actually, I had some luck there. Hoyt Ashford's wife isn't too happy with how he died."  
"She's agreed to talk to us?" Hotch sounded surprised.  
"Yeah, but because every silver lining has a dark cloud, uh, the hedge fund released a statement.... "Ashford died peacefully in his home. According to lawyer David Madison." They're already trying to close rank."  
"Does that language sound familiar to anyone else?" Reid was quick to ask.  
"What do you mean?" Hotch asked.  
"The press release from the first victim. Um... "According to company lawyer, Stanton died peacefully in his home."  
"Prentiss and Morgan, start with the wife. See if you can get her to open up. JJ, call the lawyers and tell them I want to meet with both of them." Hotch said, handing out some orders.  
Rossi sounded slightly surprised. "You want to play them off each other?"  
"I think one of them wrote both press releases. Let's see which one calls us back." Hotch said, "We don't have a usual case. The Dallas police aren't as involved as the local police normally is. The Director and Strauss want us to keep this as in house as possible. I'll see you all when you land."

When they landed. It didn't take them long to find out more about the killer they were chasing, no matter how the media and the lawyers wanted to try and spin a different story to protect their clients.

And Hotch had called for Emily to work closer with him since she had comprehensively studied female serial killers.

* * *

  
Megan Kane called Hotch to tease him while they were in her apartment.  
But he almost got her. He almost got her to turn herself in.  
"She's devolving."

* * *

They found Megan dying in the hotel room soon afterwords.  
"Nothing will change." Megan murmured. "They'll just go back to doing whatever they want and keep getting away with it."  
"Not if I have anything to do with it." Hotch said.  
"Who is it that said you know, you don't pay a prostitute for sex, you pay her to leave afterwards"?"  
"It was Dashiell Hammett."  
"It doesn't make sense. The men always leave first. I'd give anything to see his face right now. How could your wife have ever left someone like you? You're the first man I've ever met who didn't let me down." She looked to Emily, "He's a good man. You trust him with your life, don't you?"  
"Yes."  
"And you'd give him yours?"  
Emily slowly nodded. "Yes."  
She looked to Hotch. "Will you stay with me?" She was about to die and she knew it. Emily moved towards Hotch, who was now kneeling next to the dying serial killer.  
"Yes."  
"Promise?" Megan whispered.  
"Promise." Hotch said.  
Megan look back to Emily. "You love him... Don't you...?" She smirked at Hotch, "You're not alone..."  
Emily's breath hitched. If an unsub, granted, a brilliant unsub, as most were, could tell, Hotch must be able to too.

After she passed away, the EMTs took her body away, and they made their statements. Emily and Hotch were the last to leave.  
They hadn't spoken to one another since Megan died.

Emily was so embarrassed, and knew she would probably lose her spot on the team.  
When the got on the elevator, they were both silent for a moment. But Hotch broke that silence.  
"Was what you said true?"  
She was quiet, and then softly muttered a "Yes".  
"You didn't answer her dying question." Emily looked at her feet. "Do you love me?.. Are you in love with me?"  
Here it goes.  
"Hotch...."  
"-Aaron."  
"A-aaron..." She bit her lip. How was she supposed to explain this to her boss? "Am I going to get kicked out of the BAU if I say yes?" Her voice was quiet.  
He grabbed her, and for a split second, she thought he was going to hit her, and she flinched,  
But he pinned one hand to the wall of the elevator, and cupped her chin with the other, his eyes blown wide, as their faces were mere inches from each other's. "Ho... Aaron..?"  
He leaned in, and pressed his lips against hers.

Hotch held her close, and gently pulled away when he felt her slow the kiss. "I knew there was something you weren't telling me."  
Emily blushed and looked away. "What does this mean, now?"  
"What would you like it to mean?"  
She opened her mouth and closed it, biting her lip. He was her boss. This was fraternization. They could both get fired. "Aaron... I want to be with you. I've developed feelings for you. But..."  
Hotch brushed some hair out of her face, and smiled down at her. It was almost a sad smile. He was lonely. He'd just gotten divorced, and hadn't seen his son in who knows how long. That was probably why he was so willing to kiss her, to start something forbidden by FBI policy.  
"The policy?"  
"You're all for following the rules." She said softly, "I never even thought this was an option. I assumed... I kinda figured... I'd be alone forever..."  
"You don't have to be."  
"And you don't have to be either..."  
Hotch wanted to press his lips to hers once more, but the elevator pinged, letting them know they had arrived at the parking garage.

They had fallen quiet again as they stepped out into the parking garage. Emily was alway one for overthinking things. How were they supposed to go back to nothing with this sexual tension between them.

"Our flight doesn't leave until tomorrow morning." Hotch said, and Emily nodded. "And we haven't eaten.."  
Emily blinked. He was asking her out? "Won't the rest of the team be suspicious?"  
"I can find an excuse."  
Emily blushed again. "Hotch, you don't have to do this... I know what this job means to you.."  
"I want to."  
"It's so unlike you."  
Hotch chuckled. "I know." He paused, "Let me take you out to dinner. We do need to eat."  
"Ok." She nodded, and smiled shyly up to her boss.

They slipped into the big black SUV, with Hotch at the wheel.  
Emily watched him out of the corner of her eye, not wanting to stare. Was this really happening? And did a serial killer really hook them up?

She put her hand on the center console. Seeing what he would do, if he noticed at all, driving late at night, in the dark, in downtown Dallas.

He did notice, and gently grabbed her hand. "You're not very subtle."  
"I don't know what you mean." She said, smiling to herself.

They had agreed on an all night Chinese restaurant near their hotel.  
Emily and Hotch had called the team to let them know they had some issues with the traffic and the car and probably wouldn't be back at the hotel until later, and not to worry.

When they arrived they took off their gear and were left in button downs and trousers.  
They were the only two at the all night restaurant, which they were silently happy about.

Emily ordered sweet and sour chicken and Hotch ordered lo-mein, and Hotch had few drinks to accompany their dinner now that the case was closed. Emily politely refused any kind of alcohol.  
They enjoyed the small talk with one another about family, and now the lack there of. They tried to refrain from talking about cases, but sometimes, it just came up.

Hotch smiled, which was rare, each time she giggled or laughed. He felt happy for the first time in a long time. And he immediately started to think of how much Jack would like her. Which he hoped Jack would.  
When he brought his son up, Emily smiled and gushed over the picture that Hotch had of the small boy in his wallet.

They'd worked together more than a year, and she'd never seen him. Which Hotch knew was his fault, and was the reason he had gotten divorced.

Though, she'd never been married, she'd always blamed herself for her last relationship. She'd always felt like it was her fault her fiancé had passed away.

Hotch reached out for her hand when he could tell she was reflecting on the past.

They slowly finished their meals and headed over to the hotel. The two had to make sure to stay a distance from each other on the way up. If someone from the team saw them being too close, it could be bad for both of them.  
Derek had always teased her about her feelings for Hotch, but that was because no one assumed they'd be anything with one another. It was against the rules after all.

By the time they'd gotten to their rooms, it seemed the rest of the team were in their respective beds.  
"Aaron?" She asked softly. "Would you like a final night-cap or some coffee?"

He wondered if she was asking for the reason he thought she was asking. "Would you like a drink?" He asked, and looked to each door, making sure no one was coming out.  
"There is coffee in here too. It's better than the stuff we get at the police departments, or at work."  
He smiled, "Coffee sounds good."

Hotch watched her as she moved. From simply opening her door, to moving about making them some coffee.  
He was slightly perplexed with why such a young, beautiful woman would fall for him, someone twice her age. He didn't want to profile her. He tried to keep himself away from profiling his team. But with Emily, there were so many questions. She was so reserved, no one really knew much about her, besides losing her fiancé and growing up in the foster system.  
"Cream or sugar?" She asked, looking up to him.  
"Black is fine, thank you." He said, as she handed him his cup.

She took a small sip of the hot liquid and Hotch watched her lips. Emily noticed, and blushed, "What?"  
"Nothing." He murmured, leaning into his coffee, then back up to her. "You look beautiful."  
She nearly choked on her coffee, and he reached out and put a hand on her cheek. Emily felt her heart skip a beat, and she put the coffee on the counter. This time, she was the one who initiated the kiss, practically grabbing him and slamming her lips against his.

Aaron pushed his coffee cup aside, the brown liquid spilling everywhere, and pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her waist. They were both reserved, but Emily made the next move.  
She deepened the kiss, then slowly lead his hands from her waist to her chest. Hotch pulled away, "Do you want this?"  
"Do you really have to ask?" He nodded, then she smiled. "Yes, Aaron. I want this."  
And his lips were back on hers, and she worked on unbuttoning his shirt.

He quickly felt himself getting excited, nudging his hips against hers.  
Emily blushed, and let a hand travel down to his crotch. Aaron let out a small breathy moan.

Soon enough Aaron had her pinned against the wall, his mouth on her neck.  
They were both shirtless, and Aaron licked his lips seeing her in a tiny black bra, which he quickly took off, and let his hands kneed on the soft flesh.

Emily undid his belt and tugged down his trousers, revealing a happy tent in his boxer briefs. They looked into each other's lust filled eyes, silently asking each other if this was ok.

Now was Aaron's turn to pull down her pants and admired the tiny thong. That was definitely a perk to being with a younger woman with a tiny body who could pull something off like that. Emily looked away, embarrassed, though Aaron reassured her she had nothing to be embarrassed about. "You are beautiful."

Aaron hooked a finger around the tiny piece of fabric, and tugged them down. He quickly scooped her up into his arms, making her squeal, and dropped her onto the bed.

Emily grabbed his ass, squeezing, making him smirk, and then she quickly tore off his boxers, making Aaron sigh in relief.  
"You really want me?"  
"Yes!" Emily gasped, wrapping her arms around him, and roughly kissing him.

He held her hips, angling himself. God, it'd been so long since he'd been with anyone.  
Aaron pressed himself into her and Emily moaned, low and long. "Oh god, Aaron." She whispered, trembling.

He pressed a gentle kiss to her lips, before burying his face in her neck. He started moving when Emily bucked her hips against his, begging for some friction.

Aaron rested one hand on her chest while the other held his position, holding her butt.  
Emily bucked against him, meeting each thrust, and grabbing roughly at any part of him she could get ahold of. She wanted to memorize his body, in case this never happened again. Which, she assumed, it probably wouldn't.

Emily felt wonderful. She knew she was getting close, but tried everything to keep from coming too soon and ruining this for the both of them.

Soon she was seeing stars as she hit her orgasm, hard. Aaron smirked, and increased his pace, helping her ride out her climax. But as she tightened around him, he felt himself getting close. And he held her close, as he got closer and closer.

He practically roared as he released inside of her, then leaned down and bit down on her shoulder to keep their teammates from hearing them.

Aaron stayed on top of her after they finished. Both of them, even in their excellent shape, were heaving.

"Emily?"  
"Yeah, Hotch?"  
"That was perfect."  
Emily smiled up at him and nuzzled against his chest. "Yeah, it was."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “I fell in love like you would fall asleep: slowly and then all at once.” ― John Green.


	3. Reaper Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takes part during Nameless, Faceless season 5 episode 1.
> 
> "If you're going through hell, keep going." - Winston Churchill

It was a tough case. Mason and Lucas Turner had abducted and killed at least 89 people. Mentally disabled Lucas had been shot by SWAT members, not knowing what was happening and he had charged. Mason Turner had been gunned down by William Hightower, who's sister had been killed by them. It was easy to say that the team was shaken.

Emily sat close by Hotch on the flight home to DC. It just felt right sitting next to him, reading a sappy romance novel, one that Morgan and Prentiss would tease her over, but she enjoyed them. It kept her mind off of grotesque cases like this. She knew she needed sleep, but she knew if she tried to sleep, she'd see nothing but nightmares. She didn't need that right now.

Hotch starred out the window. He was trying to think about everything and nothing at the same time. After a while, he looked over at his young lover, who looked dazed.  
Emily wasn't even sure when she'd finished her book, or what it was about, but when she finally looked up, and saw Hotch starring down at her, she offered him a small smile. She wanted to lean over and rest her head on his shoulder, and Hotch wanted to lean over and kiss her head, but they knew the consequences if they did.

When they landed, the team drifted in. Not one of them said a word, except when Hotch called Emily to his office.  
"Everything ok?" Emily asked, stepping into his office.  
"Close the door, please."  
"Yeah, sure." She did as she was told, and looked up to see him looking over some paperwork. "You know, I think the paperwork can wait until tomorrow. You should go home and get some sleep."  
Hotch looked up, "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." He looked so stern and serious, and Emily couldn't help but feel he was just as shaken by this case as everyone. "I couldn't help but notice," He started, "How hard you try and put on a strong front, when these cases hurt you worse than anyone on the team..."  
"Aaron." Emily's normally sympathetic face hardened and her nose twitched. "I'm not weak."  
"I'm not suggesting that." Hotch said softly.  
"If you think I can't do my job-"  
"I'm not suggesting that either."  
Emily made a small snort, she gave him a "Then-What?" look.  
"I just thought, maybe, you might need someone after these cases..."  
Emily blinked, "Are you saying you want to take me home every so often?" A smile crossed her lips.  
"More or less." Hotch agreed, the tiniest smile on his face.  
"Any other night, I would say yes..." Her voice trailed off. "Tonight, I just want to go home, and curl up in my own bed."  
"I understand."  
"But we have tomorrow off."  
"That we do."  
"Maybe, if we're both feeling up to it... I know a nice little Italian place, they make the best eggplant parmesan."  
"Are you asking me out this time?"  
"More or less." She smirked.  
"It sounds great."  
"Pick me up around seven?"  
"It's a date." Hotch's face brightened, "And oh, before you leave..."  
"Yes?" He leaned across his desk and gave her a peck on the cheek, which made her blush.  
"Go home, Aaron." She murmured softly, and turned to leave before looking over her shoulder, and winking, "You'll need the energy tomorrow."  
Hotch wasn't sure what that meant, or what he should infer from that, but he smiled, and as soon as she was gone, the smile faded.

_Sometimes there are no words, no clever quotes to neatly sum up what's happened that day. Sometimes you do everything right, everything exactly right, and still you feel like you failed. Did it need to end that way? Could something have been done to prevent the tragedy in the first place? Eighty-nine murders at the pig farm. The deaths of Mason and Lucas Turner make 91 lives snuffed out. Kelly Shane will go home and try to recover, to reconnect with her family, but she'll never be a child again. William Hightower, who gave his leg for his country, gave the rest of himself to avenge his sister's murder. That makes 93 lives forever altered, not counting family and friends in the small town of Sarnia, Ontario, who thought that monsters didn't exist until they learned that they spent their lives with one. And what about my team? How many more times will they be able to look into the abyss, how many times before they won't ever recover the pieces of themselves that this job takes?_

The Unit Chief of the Behavioral Analysis Unit, didn't think anything of anything as he drove home. He just wanted a drink, and he deserved it. He threw his keys onto an end-table by the door of his home, and threw his briefcase in the opposite direction. He moved stoically through the room, thoughts buzzing in his head, as he made it to his small makeshift bar, and poured himself some scotch he'd received from Rossi. It was the good stuff, the hard stuff. Just what he needed. He took a swig of the liquid, and almost immediately pulled the glass away from his lips. There was someone in his house... Someone behind him. The intruder cocked a gun, pointed at the back of the profiler's head.

_Like I said, sometimes there are no words, no clever quotes to neatly sum up what's happened that day._

It was the Reaper, George Foyet, a serial killer who had broken out of jail. "You should've made a deal."

_Sometimes... The day... Just... Ends._

Foyet shot the wall next to Hotch. "Is this part of my profile?" His voice was full of arrogance. "You can't show me fear?"  
"Maybe, if you don't see fear, it's because I'm not afraid of you."  
"You said that like you actually meant it. How's my friend agent Morgan?"  
"Are you here to kill me? Or are you here to play games?"  
"You tell me." Foyet removed his mask, "Enlighten me about my behavior-!"  
Hotch cut him off, throwing the first punch. Foyet was quick with the second, which knocked Hotch to the ground, making him grab for the table. Foyet moved quickly, kicking him in the head, and making him keel over, gasping sharply in pain. Hotch rolled onto his back, putting the side of his hand onto his forehead for a moment, to stop the throbbing. Foyet grabbed Hotch by the shoulder, and promptly pistol-whipped him, leaving him semi-conscious on the floor with a gash in his temple.  
"So tell me..." Foyet said, a dark inflection in his voice, as he pulled out a knife, "Would I use this?"  
The rest of the exchange was mostly a blur to him. The only thing he remembered... was being stabbed. Repeatedly. Nine times in total and then nothing but blackness.

* * *

"So you haven't heard anything from Hotch?" Reid kept looking over Emily's shoulder, who was currently looking dumbfounded at her phone when their boss didn't answer. He knew Prentiss and Morgan had been teasing the living daylights out of her because of how close she and Hotch seemed now.  
"Not a word." Emily's voice was a bit quiet, but she really couldn't show how worried she really was. The man she was secretly seeing was missing. Her chest was extremely tight and she felt a bit lightheaded.  
Emily really didn't have time to worry about a grown man who knew how to take care of himself. She had to worry about the task at hand, a boy's life was in danger. As soon as she went back to looking at patient records, Prentiss' spoke. "Ya know, I think Reid and I can handle this, Brooks." Emily looked back at Prentiss, her eyebrows furrowed. She immediately assumed Emily Prentiss thought she wasn't pulling her weight by paying too much attention to her phone, with her mind on Hotch. Prentiss' voice got softer, seeing the look on her young colleague's face. "We've got everything under control here. You should go check to make sure everything's ok with Hotch."  
Emily blinked, and looked down to her phone, then back up to Prentiss and Reid. "Are you sure?"  
"Yeah." Prentiss gave the younger Emily a small smile, "Something's definitely up if Hotch isn't answering. Someone should make sure he's ok."  
"If you're sure..."  
"Yes, now go. We've got this." Prentiss said, encouragingly.  
"I'll be back as soon as I can." With that, the young agent grabbed her jacket and her keys, and took off to one of the big black SUVs out front of the Barton's, the doctor and son they were trying to protect, house. Emily slipped into the car, letting her phone dial Hotch's cell once again. "Dammit, Aaron. Pick up." She ran her fingers through her hair, as she got the car started and got on her way, lights and siren going as she drove.

It was maybe a fifteen minute drive to Hotch's apartment complex, The Langham, and she moved quickly to his apartment, 121. "Aa-... Hotch? Hotch, are you in there?" When she didn't hear anything, she decided to call his cell. Again. She let it ring for a few beats, and hearing his cell ring in his apartment, her skipped a beat. She turned the knob, "Aaron?" And the door wasn't locked. Her brown eyes went wide. She pulled her gun from its holster, and she pushed the door open quickly, clearing the room in front of her, her gun pointing at any potential threats. She looked around, his keys and his briefcase out in plain view. Emily moved sideways, and saw a bullet hole in the wall. The next thing, was a huge pool of blood on the floor. She had to keep her composure, thankfully she'd been trained not to let her emotions out. She made a quick sidestep, cleared the next room and saw broken glass and Hotch's cellphone on the floor. Something definitely happened here, and she was praying that wasn't Hotch's blood on the floor. Emily took a deep breath, and pulled out her cellphone, she needed help from the team's self proclaimed: "Goddess of all things cyber and electronic".  
"Speak and be heard, mortal."  
"Penelope? It's Emily.... Something's happened to Hotch..."  
"What do you mean "something"?"  
The short brunette's voice went quiet, "I'm not sure.... I came to check out his place when he wasn't answering and he's not here... But there's a lot of blood...."  
"Oh my god!"  
"I need FBI techs and police here right now. I need anyone and everyone."  
"D-do we need an APB?"  
"Just for Hotch... I mean, his car's still here 'n all."  
"Someone took him!?'  
"I.. I don't know. I can't tell who's blood it is... Just get everyone here."  
"Ok! I'm sending an army!"  
"Penelope... I have to tell Prentiss and Reid, but you can't let anyone else know. They have a job to do, and we can't draw their focus away from that. A kid's life is in danger...."  
"Ok! ... Ok..."  
Emily could here the blonde bustling around as she hung up. Her next phone call was to Prentiss. "Brooks, hey, did you find Hotch?"  
"No..."  
"No?"  
"No. He's not here. I called Pene-" Emily heard Prentiss shush Dr. Barton and Reid.  
"Why? What's going on?"  
"Hotch is missing."  
"We kind of figured that."  
"And there's blood. And there's also a hole in the wall. It kind of looks like it was done by a .44. But there's no blood or tissue around it..."  
"Any idea on how he got out?"  
"There aren't any drag marks..." She paused, "But... a body... could have been wrapped in something..."  
"Techs on the way?"  
"Yeah. They should be here any time now."  
"You stay there, help any way you can, write down everything you see."  
"Are you guys any closer there?"  
"Not so much, but we'll be fine. Just keep focused on Hotch."

Within 15 minutes, the apartment was flooded with techs and investigators. No one was saying much of anything, other than the fact there was a bullet hole in the wall, and blood on the floor, the assumption was someone was shot. And with the amount of blood loss, critically injured. Also, from his address book, the B page was missing. There were a few theories that formulated in her brain, but nothing kept.

Emily flittered about, looking over everyone's shoulder, and looking to see if anything was missed, or could point to Hotch.  
When her phone rang, she answered it on the first ring. "Penelope, what do you have?"  
"Ok, I-I-I called hospitals to see if Hotch had gotten himself admitted to an emergency room..."  
"And?" Emily quickly cut the blonde off.  
"He's not listed as a patient, but someone dropped a John Doe off at St. Sebastian Hospital... And that someone was FBI agent Derek Morgan!"  
"H-how is that possible?"  
"I don't know. Do you think they got their credentials messed up?"  
They both paused for a moment, thinking.  
"Oh my God..." Emily muttered, "George Foyet. The Reaper... H-he took Morgan's credentials..." Her breathing sped up, and then caught in her throat. "Oh my God." She repeated.  
"Why would he drop him off at the ER?"  
"St. Sebastian's right?"  
"St. Sebastian Hospital."  
"I'm on my way. I'll update you when I'm there."

Emily's head was spinning as she arrived at the hospital. She had so many questions. And for someone as analytical as she was, not to mention her innate need for answers, none of those questions were being answered as she drove in the car and the not knowing was killing her. Was he alive? Why had the Reaper actually dropped him off at the ER and not let him die? Why was he targeting Hotch? Was he targeting all of them?

When she made it to the front dest, words took a moment to formulate in her brain. "There-there was a John Doe admitted in earlier. I need his room number." She flashed her FBI badge, and the small woman behind the desk tapped away on the keyboard.  
"For right now, he's just coming out of surgery. He'll be upstairs in room 205."  
"Thank you." She said quickly, with an appreciative head bow, and she was off again. Coming out of surgery, so he was ok for now. She mentally sighed in relief.

Upstairs, a doctor was writing on Aaron Hotchner's chart as Emily knocked on part of the sliding door, and showed her badge. "I'm Special Agent Brooks, do you mind if I come in?"  
"Of course agent," The doctor nodded, barley looking up from the chart. "Are you working on his case?"  
"Actually, he's my boss, SSA Aaron Hotchner. How is he?"  
"He was stabbed nine times." Emily cringed, "But no major arteries were hit. It's a miracle he's alive."  
Emily's voice was quiet, "When will he wake up?"  
"Anesthesia should wear off within the hour, he's bound to be out of it."  
"May I stay?" She asked, again quietly.  
"Of course."  
"Thank you." And with that, the doctor left. Emily pulled a chair up beside his bed side. He looked like he had a smile on his face, and she could see him breathing, that was the only thing that helped ease her worry. She felt tears welling in her eyes, but brushed them away.  
When she sat down, she felt a lump in her throat. She should have gone home with him. If she was there maybe she could have stopped this from happening. Emily slowly reached out for his hand and took it, a tiny "I'm sorry" escaped her lips.  
"If I hadn't insisted on just going home..." She felt a tear roll down her cheek, and she sniffled, "You needed me more than I knew..."

Emily got up, she at least needed to pretend to remain cool. If someone saw the way she reacted and it got back to the FBI, it could be bad for both of them. To try and ease her mind, she grabbed his chart. Towards the top, in red ink, next to his name, was written LC. She'd seen that earlier, in the case she should have been working.

She quickly moved to the nurse's station. "Excuse me. What does this mean?"  
"LC? That stands for Living Children. If we're afraid someone will go on life-support and we don't have a DNR... We list that there." "Thank you." Emily said quickly, pulling out her phone and turning as she dialed Reid.  
"Emily?"  
"LC."  
"Yeah?"  
"Living Children. It's a hospital thing. They write it when they think someone will go on life-support and they don't have a do not resuscitate order."  
"What if the unsub was trying to tell Dr. Barton that he is actually the target, and that he's gonna leave his son without a father? I-I gotta go!" His phone shut off.  
"Reid? Reid?" She turned and looked back to Hotch, who was still laying motionless. At least now they had that information. Though, why Dr. Barton didn't know that was beyond her.  
She slowly slipped back into Hotch's room, and slipped her hand back into his.

Another few minutes passed, and her phone rang. It was Morgan.  
"Hey, everything alright?" She asked, she got up again and left the room.  
"We got him."  
"Good. Everyone ok?"  
"Reid got shot."  
"Oh my god!"  
"It looks like a through and through, but it was only in his leg, so he looks like he''ll be fine."  
"That's so good to hear."  
"What's this I'm hearing about Hotch?"  
"It was the Reaper." She breathed.  
"Is he ok?"  
"He's stable, but that's all I know, he's still unconscious."  
"Where are you guys?"  
"St. Sebastian's."  
"We're on our way."  
"Be safe."  
"Always am."

When everyone arrived, Emily had finished trying to look into anything that could lead them to Foyet, and met them in the hallway. "He's still not conscious."  
"Are you sure it was Foyet?" Rossi asked, almost surprised.  
"Derek," Emily turned to him, "He had your credentials. That's who he dropped Hotch off as."  
"Did they catch him on the security cam?" Derek asked, brow furrowed.  
"You could see him dropping Hotch off, But the camera's only on the entrance, So I have no idea what direction he went once he left the hospital." She looked down at the floor.  
"It doesn't make sense for him to have brought Hotch to the ER." JJ said.  
"We know Foyet gets off on power and control." Rossi said back. "Maybe what he wants is for Hotch to know his life was in his hands."  
"I don't think that's it though." Emily said softly, "There's got to be more to it. He's taunting us, and torturing Hotch."  
"Yeah, he could show Hotch his life was in his hands without risking the hospital." Derek replied.

"Agents, he's waking up." The doctor said, coming out of Hotch's room, "Remember, he's weak. Don't push him."  
To no one's surprise, Emily was the first one in Hotch's room, back at his side.  
"Emily...?" He sounded so groggy, and he looked like he was trying to reach his arm up towards her, but she gently pushed it down and patted his arm. An act of affection couldn't be seen right now.  
"Right here." She murmured, a relieved smile resting on her face. "I'm right here."  
"Where am I?"  
"You're in the hospital." Rossi replied, on the opposite side of the bed from Emily, with the other Emily right next to him.  
"How did I get here?"  
"Foyet drove you." Derek said, as stone faced as someone could possibly be.  
"Can you remember what happened?" Emily Prentiss asked softly.  
"What'd he take?"  
"Your address book was missing a page. The Bs." Emily said.  
"What'd he leave?"  
"I'm not sure."  
"He always takes and leaves something with his victims."  
"I looked over your whole apartment. I didn't see anything that seemed off."  
"Where are my clothes?" He groggily looked over as Emily moved over to a chair that had a bag full of his belongings. She pulled out a bloody shirt, and Hotch pulled out a minilla envelope, and took out what was inside. His credentials with a picture of his ex-wife, Haley, and son, Jack, inside. He swallowed hard, and exhaled hard, "Haley's maiden name is Brooks, too. I always listed her in the Bs in my personal information in case it fell into the wrong hands.... He knows where they live." Hotch knew they weren't romantic anymore, they'd been separated for more than a year, but it didn't mean he stopped loving her. It definitely didn't mean he stopped loving Jack. "Emily, that also means he has your information."  
"I'll be fine. Worry about them." She said, and turned to the team as they all started to leave, "We need to get moving."  
"You should stay here." Rossi said, "If the Reaper does come back, it would be when we're here, or once we know what he has planned, not to mention you've been here, they know you're FBI, use that power to make sure this place is secure. You keep an eye on Hotch."  
"Consider it done." And in the blink of an eye, the team was gone.

"Emily." She heard from behind her, Hotch was sitting up as far as he could.  
"You should be laying down..." She said softly.  
"I thought you didn't have a medical degree?"  
"Aaron..." Emily said, almost in a warning tone of voice, this was serious. This was probably the one time he'd had a sense of humor, and it was after being stabbed nine times.  
"If he's going after Haley and Jack, who knows if he's coming after you too."  
"No one knows about us."  
"No one's admitted to knowing about us." He clarified. "You know no one on our team would say anything."  
"Honestly, please don't worry about me."  
"Emily, this is more serious than you know. He's trying to hurt me, to make me suffer in any way he possibly can. If he finds out about you... I don't think we should risk it..."  
"What are you saying, Aaron?" Her voice was quiet. She knew what he was saying.  
"I'm saying: the risks are outweighing the benefits for us seeing one another." And that felt like a fatal blow.  
Emily drew her tongue across her lips as they had gone dry. "So there's no benefits to being with me?" She sounded like a wounded animal. "That's what you're saying?"  
"No, that's not what I... I just meant..."  
"No, this time I understood what you meant."  
"Emily, please. Please don't do this." He begged, there was pure exhaustion in his voice, "I'm trying to protect you."  
"You think I can't look out for myself?"  
"Emily, he's killed over thirty people!"  
"Aaron, for once, let me look out for myself. I'm a big girl. I've been through a lot, and I have no doubt I'll go through a lot more." She said, definitively. "Trust me."  
"I don't want to lose you."  
"You won't. I'm going to be right by your side, and we're going to find the Reaper."  
"Come here," Hotch said, gesturing with his hand, and leaning up with a wince.  
Emily moved in a bit and he reached out to her with the hand that still had an IV in it. She leaned down a bit, and he put his hand on her cheek. "Promise me." He said, "Promise me that I won't lose you." He gently caressed her cheek with his thumb, and she put her hand over his. leaning into his touch.  
"I promise." She was the closest thing he had left, since he knew Haley and Jack would be whisked away into Witness Protection and he may never see them again, if the Reaper stayed in the wind. "Now will you promise me that you'll try and get some rest?"  
Hotch sighed, "I'll try, but after Haley and Jack get here." That was a thought. His ex-wife and his girlfriend in the same room.  
"That works." She leaned down and kissed his cheek, making him smile softly, and she went to sit down.  
Hotch pulled out the picture that the Reaper had left him and he just stared at it. He put it down after a moment, and slipped into unconsciousness as he remembered what happened when he fought the Reaper.

Emily bolted upright, as the machines monitoring him went crazy. "Aaron?" She gasped, grabbing hold of his hand. The doctor ran in seconds after hearing the monitors.  
"What happened?" The doctor demanded.  
"I-I don't know."  
"Agent Hotchner? Can you hear me? Agent Hotchner?" The doctor said loudly, leaned over him.  
His eyes opened partway. and he looked at the doctor, then to Emily, and then he closed them.  
"I'm ok." He said weakly.  
"I need you to step out of the room." The doctor said looking at Emily. The brunette normally would have demanded to stay by him, but she didn't. She looked down at Hotch, giving him a worried look, and gently squeezed his hand before leaving the room, just to stand outside and watch helplessly. "Breathe in slowly...." She instructed her patient, as she put a stethoscope to his chest, "And exhale."  
A nurse walked in to check his eyes and Emily saw him rolling his eyes at the whole procedure. She was surprised that he wasn't just pushing them away, telling them he was fine. But she was glad he didn't. This was serious, and they both knew that.

After a few minutes of checking his vitals, Emily was allowed back in the room, but she waited by the sliding glass door. When her phone rang, it broke her out of her thoughts.  
"Brooks." She answered.  
"We got 'em." Morgan said on the other end. "Haley and Jack are both safe."  
"Good. I'll let him know. Thanks." And she hung up.

Aaron watched as she walked over to his side. He loved the way she walked. She reminded him of a cheetah or a lion or some other big cat. Her walk was graceful, but powerful. And when he watched her walking from behind, he could see her shoulders move along with her beautiful behind. That's all he tried to think about.  
"Haley and Jack are safe. They're on their way here now."  
"Good."

"Emily..?"  
"Yeah?"  
"You were at my place."  
"Yes."  
"Did you see how he got in?"  
"Probably a window, but I'm not sure." She moved back to his side. She knew he probably wouldn't but she'd ask anyways, "Do you want to talk about what happened?"  
He looked down and to the right, which is normally a sign of deceit, but she didn't say anything. "After he stabbed me the first time, it all goes blank...." Then he looked up which made Emily do the same, Haley was waiting outside the door.  
"I'll just be out here." She said softly, then slipped out.

Emily gave Haley a small smile as they passed, which Haley reciprocated, as Aaron looked down, ashamed of what he caused for his family.  
"Who was that?"  
"A colleague."  
"She looks a bit young."  
"... She's sort of a genius."  
"Like Dr. Reid?"  
"Sort of."  
There was a small awkward pause before Haley asked how he was feeling.  
"I'm going to be ok." He said, then looked her in the eye, "Did they explain to you what's happening?"  
Haley nodded, "They said the Marshall service is taking us straight from here and putting us into protective custody."  
"I am sorry."  
Haley looked like she was on the brink of tears. "Do you know where they're going to take us?"  
"No, I don't. And that's the point. I can't know where you're going. If you have any contact with anyone, then he could track you."  
"Jack has school, he has friends. I have a job now."  
"I know." He said, "And I'm sorry." The hurt in his voice was evident, but then he sounded more confident, "We will catch him. And then you'll come back. And I promise I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you."  
Haley just look at him for a minute, "Are you sure that we're in danger?"  
"Yes."  
"What about you? Are you going to be safe?" Haley held back tears.  
"He wants to see me suffer." Aaron said, "Knowing that my son is out there, and I can't see him... Is better than killing me."  
"What am I supposed to say to Jack?"  
"Tell him it's a vacation, and that it's not going to be for very long."  
"How am I supposed to keep him safe, if there's no one I know to help me?"  
"Haley, you're strong." He said, "You lived with me and this job, you've practically raised Jack all by yourself. You're a great mother."  
By this point, Haley was crying, she sniffled twice and sighed. "Can you catch this man?" She asked, more matter-of-factly.  
"I will catch this man."  
"Jack wants to come in."  
"I want to see him too, I jus don't think that it's a good idea."  
"I know you're lying to protect him, but you both need this." Haley said, "Please."  
"Ok..." He said softly, and nodded.  
Haley sniffed one last time before wiping her tears, and turning around and going down the hall to get their son. She had to be strong for Jack.  
Aaron sat up, and grunted as he did so.  
Haley returned with the small boy holding her hand.  
"Hey buddy," Hotch said, "Come on in."  
"Alright," Haley said, and grunted as she lifted the boy onto his father's hospital bed.  
"Don't worry," Hotch said as he saw his small son looking at all his bandages. "It's ok. The doctors made sure I'm completely fine... Did Mommy tell you that you to are going to take a trip?"  
"Yeah..." Jack said, sounding sad.  
"So I'm not going to see you for a while."  
"Why?"  
"Think about it, like, when Daddy goes away for work, only this time, you and Mommy get to go someplace. And what do I always tell you before I go away?"  
"You love me."  
"More than anything in the world."  
"Are you ok?"  
Hotch didn't answer him, instead, "I'm very proud of you. Every single day." And he sighed, before kissing his young son on the forehead. "I want you to meet my friend. Ok, Jack? She's going to help protect me." Aaron looked up, and called for Special Agent Brooks, who was quietly talking with Morgan as Aaron was talking with Jack and Haley.  
Emily drifted into the room, "Yeah, Hotch?" She knew they had to be careful with who they let see any public displays of affection.  
"Jack, I want you to meet Special Agent, and Doctor, Emily Brooks." Emily hated, and she was pretty sure Hotch hated it too, that this had to be her introduction to his son. She was a bit flabbergasted that it was even happening, but she went with it, glad he hadn't introduced her as a "special friend".  
"Hi Jack." She moved to give Jack a tiny handshake.  
"Hi.. Are you going to take care of Daddy? Are you going to make him feel better?"  
Emily nodded, and a sad smile crossed her lips, "Yes. I'm going to protect him with my life. But I'm actually a different kind of doctor."  
"Jack," Aaron said, "And you have to take care of Mommy, ok?"  
"Ok..."  
"See you soon, buddy."


	4. Stalker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When an unusual flower delivery turns into something more sinister, Emily's past is revealed.
> 
> "The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown." - H. P. Lovecraft

It was bright and early on a Thursday morning. The team was settling in after coming back from a case the night before.

"Brooks, Emily! Special delivery!" Penelope Garcia squealed, her heels clicked quickly as she hurried across the BAU bullpen, a huge bouquet of flowers in her hands. They were beautiful blood red hibiscuses and orange and red lilies with a touch of yellow and white and also pink to yellow ombre frangipanis.  
"Ooh, Emily, those are lovely!" Emily Prentiss gushed.  
"Someone must be sweet on you." Derek Morgan hummed.  
"I can only imagine who." Emily said softly, "They're my favorite. Hibiscuses and lilies."  
"There's a note too!" Penelope said excitedly, more than likely wanting to see who it was who sent them.

_Emily,_   
_ It was great to see you._   
_ With all my love,_   
_ -_

Emily smiled. She knew Hotch could be a romantic, but this was adorable. She had to find a way to subtly thank him, without the entire team finding out.  
"Well? Who are they from?" Prentiss asked, trying to look over the other Emily's shoulder.  
"A friend."  
"A special friend?" Prentiss teased.  
Emily smiled back at her team. That was her answer for them.  
"What does that mean?" Reid asked, completely confused.  
"It means: our little Brooks has a man." Derek smirked.  
"And you will never know." Emily smirked back. The hard part was, that was probably true. No one would ever get to know about them. "Anyways, shouldn't we be working? Thanks again, Penelope."  
"Anytime!" She said happily.  
"Does anyone have the case write up from the Bosola/Schuller case?" Derek asked as he moved across the room.  
"Sorry, I..." A tiny lightbulb went off in Emily's head, "I already turned it in to Hotch. But I can see if I can go get it for you?"  
"You're a life saver, Em."  
"Mmmmhhm." She quickly got up and moved to the stairs to Hotch's office, now she didn't have to think up an excuse to go thank her boss for the beautiful flowers. She knocked and heard a "Come in" from inside the office. When Emily walked in, she saw Hotch look up for a brief second, then back to his paperwork.  
"Everything ok?"  
"Oh, yeah. Everything's great." She had a smile on her face, and she turned and shut and lock the door to Hotch's office. Hotch looked up, hearing the lock click, and looked over at her confused. "Officially, I came in because Morgan needed my copy of the Bosola/Schuller case..." She moved and was standing over the front of Hotch's desk. He starred for a moment, her chest less than six inches from his face. He wasn't completely clear on what was happening. He pulled his chair back, and as he was about to turn his chair, Emily was there to put her hands on the arms of said chair. That made Hotch swallow hard. She was practically straddling him. "I just... Wanted to thank you." She smirked, and wrapped her arms around his neck. "They're beautiful."  
Hotch was completely confused and she pressed her lips against his, but he wasn't going to stop her. He was a man after all, and this beautiful young woman didn't look like she was going to give him much of a choice in what happened next.  
The door was locked and Hotch had the blinds closed. The good thing was, each and every room in the FBI was sound proof, and other than public areas, no room had cameras.  
Hotch's stitches were still relatively fresh, so he hadn't been active, by any sense of the word.

If what he thought was going to happen, was going to happen, that would be a first for him.  
He'd been with Haley for over 20 years, and she'd never opted for doing something so public, so forbidden, so risqué. And he had to admit, it had always been a fantasy of his to be intimate in the workplace, being as 95% of his life was work.  
Her lips pressed to his, and he reached out, cupping and caressing her cheek. He was still slightly surprised Emily was being this forward, up until now, he was basically the one making the first move.  
She wrapped her arms around his neck and she pressed her tongue into his mouth, eliciting a groan of excitement from him.  
"Emily..."  
She softly hushed him and let her hands untuck his shirt and explore over his chest, being as soft as she could be, with what had happened. Her hands rolled down to his waistband, and got to his belt, slowly unbuckling it, earning her an "Oh god" From her older lover.  
"You want me?"  
"Yes... I do." He swallowed hard and she eagerly palmed against his clothed crotch,, making him press his hand against hers, bucking his hips up into her their hands. "I do want you."  
Emily smirked, unzipping his pants, and admiring the arousal in her lover's boxer-briefs. She licked her lips, and Hotch sent a hand into her hair, as she pulled down his pants and underwear in one fail swoop. He groaned as the cool office air hit him.  
Emily scooted off his lap and down on her knees before him. He couldn't picture a more perfect sight as she leaned forward and gently kissed his length, making Hotch hiss in pleasure.  
"Like that, Hotch?"  
He didn't answer, he just tangled his hand in her hair, pushing her toward him. She gently licked along him, before taking him into her mouth. "Emilyyyy," He moaned and she happily obliged, starting to move her head, and swirl her tongue around him. He threw his head back and as she sped up, he bucked into her mouth. "Fuck... Keep moving..."  
She got faster and let her hands travel up to cradle him. She went at him for a few minutes, not even needing to come up for air.  
When she felt him tightening up, she smirked onto him.  
"Emily... I.. I'm... Ahh!" He spilled into her mouth. He wasn't completely surprised how fast he came, as it was a fantasy of his, that he finally got to live out.  
Emily licked her lips and caught any remaining fluids before they fell onto her shirt or anywhere else. "I take it you enjoyed that."

But there was a knock at Hotch's door, that ruined everything. They both looked over to the door and sighed, before getting up and straightening themselves out. "Thanks again..." Emily said, and quickly pecked Hotch on the cheek as she left his office, completely forgetting the paperwork she had used as an excuse to get in his office in the first place.  
Hotch smiled softly as Rossi entered as Emily left. "Having fun?" Rossi mused.  
"I don't know what you're talking about." Hotch muttered softly, straightening out some random papers on his desk. If Rossi knew about them, which it sounded like he did, it wouldn't be bad. Rossi had more than likely violated the fraternization code enough times.  
"Riiight."

* * *

As night fell upon Quantico, Virginia, most agents would be more than happy to escape to a bar, or to their families, Emily was ready to curl up next to the fire with a good book and hot cocoa, even after the offers from some of the team to go out. She really just wanted an escape into a good book tonight.  
Emily leaned back in her chair and stretched. She wasn't even sure how long she'd been working on those case briefs, but apparently it was long enough.  
With a small yawn, she stood, looked back up at Hotch's office. The light was still on. She didn't know how he did it, working into the odd hours of the night, even after everyone else was long gone.  
"You comin', Brooks?" Morgan asked the brunette.  
"Yeah, give me a minute."  
"We're heading out." He warned.  
"Ok. I'll see you guys tomorrow."  
With that, the team dispersed.

Emily waited until the team was gone before going up to the Unit Chief's door, and knocked quietly. "Hotch?"  
"Come in." His voice was tired, but he continued to work.  
Emily slipped into the office, and took a seat on the sofa.  
"Something I can help you with?" He asked, barely looking up from his work.  
"I thought I'd wait for you to finish so we could walk out together."  
"I might be here a while."  
"I can wait."  
"Emily..."  
"And I still never thanked you for the flowers." She smirked.  
Hotch paused, and looked up. "What flowers?"  
"The ones you sent. They're on my desk."  
His brow furrowed. "I didn't send you any flowers."  
"You're the only one who has any reason to send me flowers with "With all my love" written in the note."  
"I didn't send any flowers." He repeated, confused.  
Emily pursed her lips, and sat back. "I don't know who'd send me flowers then..."  
"Could it be a mistake?"  
"My favorite flowers? I don't think so. They're not typical flowers people would send. I don't know. Maybe it was a mistake." She conceded. "Well, whatever. I got free flowers. They'll look nice in my apartment."  
Hotch smiled as he continued to work. "I really don't want to keep you here longer than you need to be. I will be here for another hour or two."  
Emily sighed. "You sure?"  
He nodded, "Go home, get some sleep. Enjoy your free flowers."  
"Alright." She go up, and moved across the room to his desk. "You need sleep too." She murmured, and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. "Good night. And maybe tomorrow morning I'll give you another treat." She winked as she left.  
"Good night."

* * *

The next day, Aaron eagerly awaited his lover's return to the office. He'd ended up staying all night a the office and sleeping on his couch. Maybe he was too eager, but he was a man after all.  
He had changed early that morning with clothes from his go bag.

When it started to get late, he gathered some mindless paperwork to keep his mind occupied while he waited.

"Hotch?" Morgan knocked on his door, "Have you heard from Emily this morning? She's always the first one in. Is she sick? I tried calling her and it sent me to voicemail."  
Hotch put his pen down and looked up. "I haven't heard anything."  
"That's odd. She said she'd see us tomorrow."  
"She's probably just running late. People do that sometimes."  
"Not her, Hotch." Morgan pressed, "Come on, you know her better than anyone."  
"It is out of character for her to be this late and not to tell anyone, I agree."  
"Hotch...!"  
"I...I'll look into it."

Aaron dismissed Morgan, but his thoughts went to the young woman he'd been seeing. He quickly dialed her cell,  
_ "This is Dr. Brooks, leave your name, number and a brief description of why you're calling and I'll call you back."_  
"Emily, where the hell are you?" He murmured, as he hung up.

The man stood, and moved across the room, grabbing his jacket and swiftly passing the team.  
"I'm going to check her apartment. I'll be back as soon as I can be."

"Need back up, Hotch?" Prentiss asked.  
"No, I'm fine. I'll call if something changes."

He was on the road within five minutes. Something in his gut told him something was wrong.  
"Damnit." He cursed as he tried her phone again with no answer. He turned on his lights and sirens, and stepped on the gas.

Once he reached her apartment, he swiftly moved to the door, to find it cracked open. He pulled his weapon, and moved slowly to push the door open.

He quickly noticed blood on the carpet. He scowled, and moved to clear the rooms.

There was no trace of the brunette.

He quickly dialed Penelope, "Garcia? We've got a problem. Emily's missing. I need the team here now."  
"Everyone?"  
"Yes, Garcia. And police."  
"Yes, Sir."  
"She got a flower delivery yesterday to the BAU, it was strange. I want you to look into that too."  
"Y-yes, sir!" Hotch heard furious typing in the background.

Within minutes, the whole team was at Emily's apartment.

"I knew something wasn't right." Morgan said. "She would've let us know..."  
"This is probably all the blood from whoever it was." Reid said, bent down looking at the blood trace, "Probably a blitz attack." He looked around for a moment, "There." He pointed to scratches in the floor. "Someone was dragged."  
"And by someone; it's probably Emily." Prentiss said softly, "Hey, Garcia?"  
"Yes?" She squeaked through the phone line.  
"Who's her next of kin?"  
"She doesn't have one."  
"None at all?"  
"Zero." Garcia affirmed.  
"Any enemies?"  
"I don't think so."  
"Friends?"  
"None that I can find. She pretty much keeps to herself... Her emergency contact is a neighbor... And she doesn't even have a Facebook."  
"We need everything you've got on her."  
"Well," She typed away. "She was a foster child. From Santa Ana. Emancipated at 15.... I'm guessing she didn't have a great relationship with her foster parents.... Graduated top of her class in high school from Santa Ana High, got a full ride to Stanford..." She typed away, "She lived with a foster brother slash boyfriend, [Jason Pillock](https://tvguide1.cbsistatic.com/mediabin/showcards/celebs/j-l/thumbs/jared-padalecki_sc_768x1024.png), who was a few years older than she was after her emancipation, and boy he's gorgeous.... Looks like he went to Stanford too, and was enrolled in Stanford's Law program...." Garcia made a sad noise, "Awww. He died in a mugging, when he was in his last year of law school..."  
"Did they catch the guy?"  
"No, the case is still open."  
"Then she went on to Princeton, and got her doctorates in Criminology and Psychology..." She said, "Our lady is fierce." She paused. "Oh. Looks like her boyfriend was arrested."  
"For what?"  
"Assault."  
"On her?"  
".... No, their foster father... He was beaten with a bat....Charges were dropped... A few months later, she was emancipated."  
"I think I know why." Hotch said, his lips pursed. "Do they still live in Santa Ana?"  
"No, Ft. Meyers, Florida."  
"Did she file any police reports?"  
"You think the foster father was abusing her?" Prentiss asked. Hotch closed his eyes and nodded. "Do you think he's involved?"  
"No, no police reports by her or Jason." Garcia interrupted.  
"I don't know." He said, to Prentiss then looked to the phone, "Did you look into that flower delivery?"  
"I am looking, sir. But there are tons of flower shops in the area, and even more if you buy them from an online seller. I'm trying to cross reference any and all deliveries to FBI HQ."  
"Thank you, Garcia."

As they arrived back at the BAU, Hotch noticed a small parcel waiting for him at his door.  
"Hotch, we have one agent missing. Let's get some techs to look over that before you look at it." JJ said. "She got a delivery too yesterday."  
"I remember." Hotch said softly, and then he told a random FBI member for analysis techs up to their office immediately.

With the parcel opened, and they were told it was fine, Hotch nearly snatched it out of a tech's hand.

_ **LEAVE HER ALONE** _

"Hotch?" Morgan waited for his judgement of the note, as did the rest of the team.  
"This wasn't random. And it wasn't someone coming after the team. It's personal. She has a stalker."  
Morgan was handed the note by Hotch, who looked flushed, and Reid looked over Morgan's shoulder. "Hotch, the stamp. It's of Stanford."

* * *

Emily groaned. "Dammit...." She muttered, "Did I drink last night...?" Her head was pounding. She put a hand to the back of her head and felt that her hair was hard. "The hell..?" She tried to get up, and stumbled, which was when she realized she wasn't in her own room. She ran a hand through her hair, and saw traces of dried blood.

She immediately started to worry. "Hello?.... Hello?" She called, "HELLO?"  
"Oh good, you're awake. I was worried." She heard a relatively concerned voice from behind her and spun around, defensively. She saw a pair of brown eyes with thick glasses through a tiny opening.  
"Who are you?"  
"You know me, Emily." He knew her name? That really wasn't good. They hadn't been working on a case, or profiling for anyone, he must have been watching her. "You really don't remember me? It has been a while.... And such a far distance you made me travel to find you, for you to not remember me...."  
She knew she should be playing along, if he snapped, she could get hurt.  
"Distance...? .... D-did you come from California...?"  
"Oh good, you're remembering." She really wasn't, but the only place she'd stayed long enough to make an impression on anyone was California, in either Palo Alto with Stanford or Santa Ana as she grew up. She didn't recognize the voice or the eyes.  
"Are you from Palo Alto or Santa Ana...?"  
"You must be hungry..."  
"I'm fine."  
"I got you your favorite sushi, eel."  
She winced, he had been watching her a while to know that. She hadn't eaten sushi since Jason died.  
"T-that's very kind of you."  
"I couldn't help but notice you going home with your boss, Aaron Hotchner. On quite a few occasions." She swallowed hard.  
"He's just my boss." She said slowly and softly. "D-do you want me to call him and tell him to leave me alone? He'll listen to me, I'm a doctor."  
"No! NO!" He was heaving, "I didn't think you would cheat on me. Not after I took care of that.... Jason." He was getting impatient and seemed to be straying farther from reality. She knew he was going to get violent. With either her, or Aaron.  
"Wait... What do you mean you took care of Jason? He's been dead for.... years...." It clicked.  
"I killed him for you! You were never going to be happy with him!"

"You didn't need to do that." She sputtered, on the brink of tears, but gritted her teeth, "You should have just told me and I would have left him alone."

"No, you wouldn't!" He screeched. "Just like you're lying to me about that Aaron Hotchner!"

"I'm not lying..." She breathed. "I'm not lying."

* * *

"Garcia, I want everyone and anyone from Stanford or Palo Alto at the same time Emily was there, with a criminal record. And any who recently moved to the DC or Quantico area."  
"Right away, Sir." She hurried off to her lair, and Hotch directed everyone to the roundtable. 

"So there are supposedly 8 types of stalkers."  
"Domestic, lust, love scorned also known as an erotomaniac, celebrity, political and revenge." Reid said. 

"And fitting to our victimology..."  
Hotch shifted uncomfortably at the thought of Emily as a victim.   
"The unsub would more than likely be a white male, late twenties to mid thirties." 

"And with the note she received, it's more than likely we're dealing with an erotomaniac stalker." Prentiss added. "He's in love with her and believes she's in love with him."

"Sir?" Garcia squeaked, "I've got those names. And I cross-referenced them with one another, and it's still about two dozen names."  
"That many?"  
"Lots of influential lawyers, judges and politicians come from Stanford." Reid noted.   
"What are the crimes, Garcia?"

'Mostly petty stuff," She said, "Underage drinking, possession."  
"But?"  
"There was an arrest for unlawful gun possession."  
"What happened with that?"  
"Charges were reduced, but he still served 5 years..."   
"Garcia?"   
"Looks like the gun was used in a homicide.... Oh my god."  
"What is it?"  
"I-it was Jason Pillock's murder. His lawyers got him off of manslaughter charges, since there was no direct evidence to him and the murder."  
  
"We need a name, Garcia."  
"Richards. Andrew Richards."  
"Send us all the info you can get on this guy."  
"Oh my beauties, it's already been sent to your phones."  
"Thank you, Garcia."

And Hotch took off. "Hotch! Whoa, Hotch!" Morgan called after their boss, and caught him by the shoulder. "Look, man. We don't know anything about this guy and we've got a half-assed profile-"  
"Morgan, we don't have time for this."  
"We need to be clear headed, heading out there. Her life depends on it."  
"You think I don't know that?"  
  
"We don't even know where we're going, Hotch. Or if she's going to be there. Or even alive."  
"We'll profile him on the ride over. He's a delusional erotomaniac, and he's already killed one person." His voice eerily calm.   
"Hotch, you're too close to this case."  
Hotch gave him his signature glare in return. 

* * *

"I got you something." He said, pulling a tiny box out and setting it on the food port. "Open it."  
She slowly reached for the box, and opened it like she was told. She let out a small sob when she saw the contents. It was her engagement ring from Jason, a slim gold band with a tiny diamond.   
This was her nightmare. She couldn't breathe and her head was spinning. She was on the verge of a panic attack, but she slowly, shakily, put the ring on her finger for him, trying to control her breathing. "I-it's beautiful."

Her mind flashed to Jason yelling at their masked mugger, who was this man, now holding her hostage. How she hid behind Jason, and just offered up her wallet to the man before her with a gun.

  
_"I want the ring too!"_   
_"Don't give it, Em." Her tall lover warned. _   
_"Give it or I'll shoot!"_   
_And she threw it at him. _   
_"Emily-!" Two shots rang out, and Jason stumbled back, clutching his stomach, as he fell to the ground. "Em..." _

"I love you, Emily."  
"I love you too, Jason." She whispered to the ring. 

She heard a loud _BANG_, and realized it was her stalker who had said he loved her. She cringed. This wasn't going to end well. 

* * *

"Garcia, what's the connection from Richards to Emily?" Prentiss asked from the passenger seat of Hotch's speeding SUV, the sirens were blaring, and the lights were flashing.   
"Looks like he was a TA in a few criminology classes at Stanford."  
"He would have been looking at her every day." Derek shook his head, from the other SUV.   
"What's his background?"  
"Grew up a wealthy kid in Beverly Hills. Looks like his father was a judge, and his mother was a socialite." She said, typing away, "He barely made it into Stanford's undergrad, but his parents made some big contributions to the school, so looks like his way was bought for him."  
"Was he in any other institutions or have any court orders? Besides the conviction for gun possession."  
"Looks like he has a restraining order from a Miss Jessica Monroe, she stated she feared for her safety, looks like he was getting hostile when she refused his advances. Wow, she looks like our girl."  
"So he has a type."  
"He's currently on parole, and has permission to live in Arlington from a Judge Keegan."  
"Was he arrested for anything in connection to this other woman?"  
"No, it looks like she moved out of the area shortly after the order was granted. I've got no paper trail on her. She's living very off the grid."  
"Could he have-" JJ started.   
"There's no missing person's report."  
"But it would be possible?"  
"Yeah, yeah it would."   
"Garcia, contact his parole officer. I want to see what he has to say about him."  
  
Hotch took a hard right and Reid yelped from the backseat.   
"How much farther?" The boy-genius squeaked. 

* * *

For the first time since she'd been there, the thick metal door opened and Emily took a step back.  
The man before her was short in stature, had thick brown hair and glasses, he didn't look intimidating, but the knife in his hand was another story.   
"Why do you need that?" Her voice was soft, she didn't want to alarm him and have him attack her. She needed to let him think she was on his side.   
"If we love each other, you wouldn't need that."  
"But you don't love me. You love _him_."  
"That's not true."   
"You said so!"  
"I was confused." She put her hand up.   
"You're a liar."  
"I'm not a liar... Please, you need to trust me."

"I've given you everything and you've done nothing!"  
"I-I didn't know you were here in DC."  
"See? You're a liar!"

* * *

  
The two black SUVs arrived at a large house in north Arlington. Garcia had called them in a subpoena, even at such an hour at night, so as soon as they arrived, they were getting their gear on to raid the house.  
"We still don't even know anything about this guy if we need to talk him down." Morgan said, pulling on his bulletproof vest. Hotch was silent, his brain spinning with possible outcomes. "She may not even be here."  
"She's here." Hotch said, drawing his weapon. "I want JJ, Reid and Rossi covering the back, and I want Prentiss and Morgan with me."  
  
The team moved in, swiftly, guns at the ready.   
"On my three." Hotch stated, "One.... Two.... Three." And he kicked the door down. The three of them flooded the house.   
  
They quickly started clearing the house, and it looked like a normal bachelor pad. There was no sign of a woman anywhere.   
But there were lights on, and Hotch knew someone was here, or close by.   
  
Hotch was the one to finally clear the second story. "Clear."   
Morgan sheathed his gun. "She's not here, Hotch."  
"She has to be here."  
"Hotch..."   
  
"I want this entire house locked down, and the perimeter secured." And he pulled out his phone. "Garcia?"  
"Sir?"  
"I need the blueprints of this house. I want any building permits, and anything else you can find. I want to see every inch of this place."  
"Right away, sir."  
"And I want you and Reid to access any computer in this house."  
"Sir." 

"What's our next move, Hotch?"  
"We scour this house and see if we can find anything that can lead us to her."  
"Yes, sir." 

They spread out, looking over the house. "Something's wrong." Prentiss said, "Normally erotomaniacs keep some sort of shrine or something relating to their fixation. And I see nothing out of the ordinary."   
"He's still on parole." Hotch said, "If his parole officer sees anything out of the ordinary he'd report it or bring him in. He has to keep it clean."  
"He probably has some sort of shrine wherever he's keeping her."

  
"Hotch," Reid came in with a laptop, "Garcia sent the blueprints."   
"Let's see."  
He opened up the laptop, "There's a false room, behind a closet." He pointed. "And a basement."  
"There's no entrance for a basement."  
"_Inside_." Reid corrected, "There's no entrance for a basement _inside_."  
  
"JJ and Rossi, check out that false room. I want the rest of you with me." Hotch said. "Let's go."

* * *

The loud smash startled both of them. "What was that?" He was panicking.   
Emily prayed it was her team knocking. "We need to stay calm." And he pointed his knife at her, slowly making his way towards her.   
"You lied to me." He growled, starting to circle her. "You brought them here, you little bitch."  
"I didn't." She whispered, "You wouldn't let me contact them."  
He grabbed her arm, and pressed the knife against her skin. "If you speak, I'll slit your throat."

* * *

Reid directed them to a covered cellar door, with a padlock laying off to the side. Which could only mean he was down there with her.   
Morgan pulled the doors open, and they each slowly made their way down the stairs, guns drawn. 

  
The basement was like a prison, all concrete and steel. With Hotch leading, they saw a light coming from one of the rooms.  
He signaled to the room with two fingers. The large steel door was closed, and Morgan was ready to pry it open whenever   
  
"I told you to leave us alone!" They heard from behind the large door. Hotch had been right, she was here. 

"You know we can't do that, Andrew." Morgan called back. "Can you come out so we can see you both?"  
  
Prentiss looked through the small port. "He's got a weapon."

"Is Aaron Hotchner with you?"  
The team looked over to Hotch, "This is Hotchner." He was doing everything in his power not to lose control.   
"Hotch?" It was her, and her voice was shaking. "I want you to stay away from us. ... You're nothing to me... You always have been nothing to me." He knew Emily was coerced into saying that. "So go away... I'm fine."  
  
"Hotch?" He heard JJ's voice over his ear piece. "We found his shrine. And I think Jessica Monroe." 

"Hotch, I don't have a shot." Morgan was bent down by the tiny opening.

Hotch decided to try something. "You know that's not true." He said, if he could get this man mad enough, he might just leave her to come after him, or try and get sloppy enough so Emily could take him down.   
"You know someone like her would never want someone as pathetic as you. You saw her fiancé. Hell, you killed him because you knew she would never want you by herself."  
"Stop it!" He shouted.   
"She has a type. And you clearly don't fit it. Which is why you need to kill and kidnap so she'll even be near you."   
"You bastard-!" And two shots were fired from Morgan's gun. 

"Go." Hotch commanded, and the team pulled the door open, to see Richards dead on the floor, and Emily kicking away the knife he had. "Are you alright?"   
"I'm fine." She breathed, and they just looked at each other for a moment, both relieved the other was ok. But refraining from showing any sign of affection, no matter much she probably needed it right now. "I was worried he had gotten to you.... He killed Jason." She let out a tiny sob.  
"We know." Hotch said softly. "Let's get you out of here." He said offering her his arm. 


	5. Without Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a night out, Hotch calls Emily into his office, and what she hears isn't exactly good news.
> 
> Chapter song is Halsey's Without Me.
> 
> "Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it." - Helen Keller

Tonight was the first night out the team had together since Emily had been kidnapped.  
And she was relatively happy. She laughed and smiled, and for once Hotch thought she was truly happy and back to her old self.  
They brushed against one another, let their hands touch under the table. They seemed happy.

"When are they finally going to admit it?" JJ whispered to Prentiss.  
"You've got me."  
"They're so adorable around one another."  
"I know right?"  
"What are two of my favorite ladies whispering about?" Morgan asked, as he came up with some beers.  
"Oh, just our favorite non-couple.." Emily Prentiss hummed.  
"Hotch and Brooks?"  
"Mmmhmm."

"Hey, I'm gonna excuse myself for a minute, I'll be back," Emily said, brushing some hair behind her ear.  
Hotch nodded, and looked over to his team. They noticed and dispersed. He raised an eyebrow but let it go.

Time passed, and Hotch was concerned when the shorter brunette never came back to his table.  
Curious and concerned, he got up from his seat.  
He passed the woman's bathroom and saw a woman coming out, "Excuse me, did you see a young woman in there? About 5'7", brunette, blue eyes... She was wearing a black shirt and jeans."  
She briefly looked back at the bathroom, and at him. Probably questioning his intentions, but shook her head. "No, sorry."

After checking the entire bar, and realizing his lover was no where to be seen, he'd sort of assumed she'd gone home. But his heart feared something worse. After she had just been kidnapped, his thoughts were on nothing but her safety.

He went to the bartender for assistance. "Have you seen a young woman, brown hair, blue eyes, black shirt and jeans?"  
"You a cop?"  
"FBI, I'm a profiler."  
"Look, I checked her ID and it said she was 28."  
"This isn't a bust."  
"..... So why do you need her?"  
"That's my business."  
".... Last I saw she was at the far end of the bar doing shots."  
"Shots of what?"  
"I think tequila."  
"That can't be right." Emily didn't drink.  
"I think she's still down there." The bartender pointed, "Yeah, the pretty girl, in the corner; that's her, right?"  
Hotch looked, and he'd be damned. It was her. He cursed.  
"Wait, do I get like a reward or something?"

"What are you doing?" He demanded as he reached her.  
"Yu luuk upset...." She reeked of alcohol.  
"Are you drunk?"  
"Toa'tally." He was horrified, she just ruined almost four years of sobriety.  
"Have you been drinking all night?"  
"Uh-huh." She looked proud of herself. And she smirked slyly, before grabbing him by the tie and slamming her lips and body against him.  
Hotch was shocked and he pulled her off him. "We're going home."  
"Wassa matta?" She whined and tried to press against him again.  
He moved away, "You're drunk...!" He said, exasperated.  
" 'N yu're bossy." She slurred then giggled.  
"I'm taking you home." He said, pulling her up by the arm, and pulling her out the door.

The moment they got into the car, she threw herself at him, trying to pull his pants off.  
"Emily, stop."  
"No...!" She whined. "I wanyou." And she pressed her mouth to his ear, but he pushed her away again.  
"No. You're drunk."

"Aaaaarun."  
"Can I just get you home?"  
She rolled her eyes, "Wat'ev'r..." She pouted. "...Ef yu don wan me jus say et...."

Hotch sighed, "We'll talk about this later." He put a hand over his temple, frustrated.  
He understood why she did it. She needed to escape. He completely understood.  
But to ruin almost 4 years of sobriety, it crushed him that she was so broken.

She swayed in her seat as Hotch got the car moving.  
"Cn we list'n ta summusic?" She wasn't really asking so much as letting him know she was turning the radio on.  
"That's fine."

She flipped through the stations, finally ended on a Kelly Clarkson song, and drunkenly sang along, using her phone as a fake microphone.

Sometimes he forgot how young she really was, and how much she'd gone through in life.  
He put his hand out on the center console, like she had when they first got together, and it took her a moment to notice, but she did. And she happily took his hand. No more singing, just happily holding his hand.

He sighed, and smiled to himself.

* * *

When he pulled up to her apartment, he'd noticed her grip had loosened, and he looked over to check on her. She was trying not to fall asleep.  
"Let's get you inside, hm?"  
"Mkay.."

Hotch heard the door open and close along with an "Ooof".  
He stepped around the large SUV and saw her picking herself up.  
" 'm fine..." She muttered. From her voice, he could tell she was starting to sober up.

He offered his arm and she took it, and they slowly walked up three flights of stairs to her flat.  
"Why did you do this?" He asked softly.  
"Drink?"  
"Yes."  
"I dun wanna talk bout it."

They were quiet for a moment, then he asked if she had her keys. She nodded, and grabbed them from her jacket.  
"Wanna come in?"  
"I don't think that's a good idea."  
"Yu dun wanna baby me?" She softly teased, "Er make sure I dun throw up en ma sleep...?"  
He sighed, she had kind of overdone it. It probably was a good idea to make sure she didn't asphyxiate on her own vomit.  
"As long as you don't try to take advantage of me." He said and kissed her forehead. She rolled her eyes, and opened the door, letting them both in.

"I'd like it if you sobered up a bit more before heading to bed."  
"Kay."

"Coffee?" Hotch asked, already knowing her apartment enough to know where the coffee was hiding, partially from profiling it.  
"Sure."

As he got the coffee going, Emily flopped down on her couch and flicked on the TV. "Law and Order's on."  
"You don't get enough of that at work?"  
Emily shrugged, "I like to watch for the un-accuracies."  
"I didn't know that."  
"There's a looot yu dun know bout me." She got up, and started her way towards the kitchen. "Want sumpopcorn?"  
"That's fine."

She turned and grabbed a bowl, before throwing the popcorn in the microwave.  
Hotch couldn't help but watch her. Even sort of drunk, her movements were still beautiful.

He took a step toward her, and wrapped his arms around her from behind.  
"I worry about you."  
"I worry bout yu, too."

They stayed like that for a while before he decided to take her hand and started to lead her off somewhere.  
"But... my popcorn...!" He hushed her, and they ended up in her bedroom. His mouth making contact with her neck almost instantly.

"Aaron..." She moaned softly, "I thought..."  
"Me too..." He held her hips and unzipped his trousers. "But I want to make love to you." He whispered to her.  
"Do it."

He spun her around and pressed his lips to hers.  
The quickly tore off each other's clothes, but Aaron made sure to savor every sight. He held her close and kissed as much of her skin as he could.  
"Yu luk so gud ina suit but it'sa a pain in the ass ta take off." She panted.  
"You're also still sort of drunk. Your hand-eye coordination is off."  
"Shut uppp, you soundlike Reeeid." She growled and kissed his lips, roughly.

He laid back on the bed, and Emily crawled on top of him.  
Aaron let his hands trail up her legs, as she straddled him. He licked his lips looking at her, and she lead his hands to her breasts.

"Em...."  
"Dun ruin it." She leaned over him, her lips pressed to his.

But suddenly, she pulled away.  
"Em?"  
"I need'a pee."  
"Charming."

She pulled herself off of him, and stumbled her way to the adjacent bathroom.

A minute or so later, Hotch heard a soft thump and he was up as quick as he could be to go check on her.  
"You alright in there?"  
No response.  
He opened the door, and saw her curled up on the floor, snoring softly.

He sighed, he knew he couldn't leave her like that. Especially with her running the risk of asphyxiating. He pulled her into his arms, carried her over to her bed and tucked her in.  
He got into bed beside her, and wrapped his arms around her.  
Soon enough, he fell asleep too.

* * *

Hotch slipped out relatively early, knowing she would probably sleep well into the afternoon. Lucky for them it was the weekend.

When Emily did wake up, it took her a moment to recall even a fraction of the previous night. Her head was killing her. She hadn't experienced a hangover since she was a preteen.  
She slowly remembered Hotch had been there last night, even if she couldn't exactly remember what happened. But she assumed they slept together, since she was still naked.

She slowly gathered her bearings and got her phone, dialing her boss.  
"You're finally awake." Was her greeting from the other end.  
"Good morning to you too." She half grumbled.  
"It's afternoon." He corrected her.  
"Sorry, my brain isn't functioning."  
"That's understandable. You did drink quite a bit last night."  
"Yeah the last thing I remember was getting here."  
"You don't remember passing out in the bathroom?"  
".... Uh, No. No, I do not..... It was bad, huh?"  
"That's an understatement."  
"I'm so sorry, Hotch."  
"You don't need to apologize."  
"But I do."  
"We can talk about it tomorrow."

There was a moment of silence between them, before Emily spoke. "I'm going to a meeting tonight." She said quietly.  
"Good, I think that will help." He knew she wouldn't want him pressing the issue. But after the stalker, she'd been distant, she'd been drinking.

"Four years down the drain..."  
"Relapse is a part of any addiction. It happens."  
"It's my second relapse."  
He didn't want to say he knew, but he did know about her drinking as a teenager, getting sober, then her fiance died, and she started drinking again, then quit, and here they were now.  
"You're strong." He said softly.

She exhaled loudly, "So what are you doing today if you're not here?" If her profiling skills were strong enough, she'd say: at the office.  
"I'm at the BAU." She was right.  
"I'm probably going to sleep for the rest of the day, then go to that meeting tonight."  
"Sounds like a plan."

They grew quiet again.  
Emily opened her mouth to tell him that she loved him, but it was still too soon, so instead she offered him a "we'll talk later, ok?"  
"Sounds good."

* * *

The next day, Emily was rearing to go. Dressed in her best power suit, she felt empowered. Ready for whatever case JJ had ready for them, as she strolled into the BAU.  
"Brooks?"  
She looked up and saw Hotch standing at his office door.  
"My office. Now."

This was either going to be really good or really bad. She walked, tentatively, up to his office.  
"Hotch?"  
"Have a seat."  
"What's going on?"  
His face was buried in a file. "The incident in the bar the other night..." He said, and straightened up. "I'm suspending you.... And I highly recommend you put in for a transfer. I'll give a recommendation to where ever you want to go."  
She blinked, then frowned, "Where the hell did that come from?" She felt her veins protruding from her neck. "Our relationship doesn't affect our work."  
"But that won't be a problem for either of us any longer."  
"Hotch... Are you ending this? Us?"  
He couldn't look her in the eye, but he nodded. "Yes." He said softly. "It's inappropriate, and it's against policy."  
"Because I got drunk and kissed you?"  
"This whole relationship has been a mistake."  
She let out a dry laugh, "Well, it's good to know what you think of us.... Thought of... us."  
"Like I said, I'll give you a recommendation to any department or field office of your choice."  
"My choice is here, in the BAU... With you." She said, nostril's fuming, as she pulled off her gun and pulled out her badge, before slamming them on his desk."How does it feel up there on your high horse?" He looked down at his desk at her apparent resignation, and tilted his head, "You're an ass." She turned and slammed the door to his office on the way out.

He clicked a button on his phone, "How was that, Section Chief?"  
He heard a noise of approval, from section chief, Erin Strauss, and hung the phone up.  
Aaron let out a sigh, and ran a hand over his face.

* * *

"Whoa, good morning to you too, Brooks." The brunette passed Morgan in a huff on her way out. "You ok?"  
"Peachy." She growled.  
"Hey, calm down, pretty girl." He reached for her arm, "What's going on?"  
"I just resigned."  
"Whoa whoa whoa, why?"  
"Just forget it." Her voice was almost too calm, "Bye, Morgan."  
"No way I'm gonna forget it. Tell me."  
"I need to go, before I do something I'm gonna regret."  
"Brooks..."  
"Just leave it, Morgan." She said, as she made it to the elevator, and the doors opened. "Just forget it." And Derek was sure he saw tears falling down her cheeks as the elevator doors closed.  
"Damn." He looked up to Hotch's office and could only imagine what happened to make her resign. It took everything in him not to barge in and give Hotch a piece of his mind.

* * *

What time was it? Late enough, probably. Emily could barely read the clock on her microwave. Not because she was too far away, but because she had downed half a bottle of tequila.  
The first thing she did after leaving the BAU was head to the liquor store. She practically bought the store out. Her life was basically over, so why not drink?

She barely heard the banging on her door through the music she was listening to, and took another shot before getting over to see who it was, and groaned as she found out. She had hoped it was just an angry neighbor coming to complain about the volume of the music.  
"Leave me alone, Morgan." She called through the door.  
"No way, Brooks." He crossed his arms over his chest, "If I have to break this door down, you know I will."  
"Sonofabich." She moaned, and opened the door. "What?"  
He picked up a bag off the ground, and waved a movie at her, smiling, "Brought you dinner and a movie."  
"I'm not in the mood, Morgan."  
"You've obviously been drinking."  
"So?" She retorted with a snort.  
"Where's your stash?"  
"You're not touching it."  
"Like hell I'm not. You're an alcoholic." He brushed past her and saw the bottle of tequila sitting out. "Tequila? Really?"  
"What did you think I drank? Wine-coolers?" She asked, annoyed.  
Morgan sighed, and rubbed his forehead.

"I didn't ask you to come scrutinize my life." Which was going down hill anyways.  
"Can we just eat our cold, Chinese food?"  
"You got my favorite?"  
"Shrimp egg foo young? Yes." He held it out for her and she was about to take it before he pulled it back. "As long as there's no more drinking tonight."  
"You're blackmailing me with Chinese food?"  
"Is it working?"  
She pursed her lips. "Yeah, kinda." She took the food. He'd probably only be there for an hour or two, so she probably wouldn't be feeling withdrawal symptoms by then. Then she could taste her sweet tequila again.

Morgan fiddled with the TV and DVD player for a few minutes trying to get it working, as Emily got plates and silverware.  
"Move is queued up."  
"And food is ready, but you were right: it's cold." She handed him a plate of his food after he flopped onto the couch. "What movie did you get anyways?"  
"The Dark Knight."  
"Oooh, I love this movie," She hummed through a mouthful of food as Morgan clicked the play button.  
"Yeah I know." He smiled brightly, and took a bite of his food. "Me too."  
"Profiling me now, Morgan?"  
"Nah, you told Reid you love this movie. We were comparing Batman movies and he said you liked this movie."  
She sighed, she was going to miss profiling.

"Did Hotch tell you guys what happened?" She asked quietly.  
"No matter how many of us asked, he didn't say anything. He looked pretty angry though. "  
She shook her head, "He had no reason to be angry."  
"What did happen?"  
"Saturday, we all went to that bar... I got drunk. And I did something I probably shouldn't have done.." She looked down at her plate.  
Morgan sighed.  
"You guys all knew right? About Hotch and me?"  
Morgan slowly nodded with his mouth full.  
"I embarrassed him and he basically gave me no choice."  
"There are other jobs, other men." Morgan said. "You're a doctor, you've probably got other agencies trying to break down your door to get you to work for them."  
"Well, NCIS and the CIA have been trying to poach me."  
Morgan smiled brightly, "That's my pretty girl."  
"We'll see."  
He patted her knee and finished off his plate, and got up to take it to the dishwasher.

"How do you do it?" She asked softly.  
"Put the dishes in the dishwasher? It's really simple." He sassed with a smile.  
"Not that," She groaned, "Being a ladies' man."  
"It's all good looks an charms." He said, "Both of which you have."  
"How can you just spend the night with someone and leave them?" She looked down.  
"Whoa, hey, Em, I didn't mean to upset you."  
"You didn't."  
"This about Hotch?" She nodded. "Screw Hotch." He said, frankly, and took her chin. "You deserve better than that."

"No, I don't, Derek." He wiped tears off of her face. "And even if I did..."  
"You do, pretty girl. I promise." He said. "Would I lie to you?"  
"No, no you wouldn't." She whispered, and her big blue eyes stared into his big brown eyes. "You've always been there for me...."  
"Always will be..."  
They were close enough that their lips briefly brushed against each other's.

They pulled away for a moment, starring at each other with lust blown eyes, before they both grabbed one another, and their lips crashed together.  
"Morgan!" She gasped into his mouth, and their bodies pressed together.  
  
Morgan had all the right moves. The way he would grind his hips against hers, the way he kissed her, it was perfect.  
  
He peeled off his tight black t-shirt, and Emily pressed her hands to his beautifully sculpted abs, licking her lips. He was so handsome.   
Derek smirked, "Like what ya see, pretty girl?" She nodded, dumbly. "Better than Hotch?" He asked, as he started pressing kisses to her neck.   
She pulled away, "Don't do that." Morgan tilted his head in confusion. "Don't bring up Hotch. And compare yourself to him... I'm trying to forget him..."   
"Whoa, sorry," He quickly defended. "Thought it was funny."  
"Just shuddup." She growled, and pressed her lips to his again before their clothes went flying.   
  
Derek pushed her down onto the couch, and attached his lips to her neck.

His body pressed against hers, and she could feel just how excited he was. "Derek..." She breathed, as their last pieces of clothing came off.  
"You know I'm breaking my rule for you, right?" He purred against her skin.   
"Rule?" She gasped, as he ran his hands over her body.  
"Never mess with a woman who carries a gun." He smirked, and planted sloppy kisses down her stomach. "I told you, you're worth it."  
Her brain was too fuzzy to tell him, as of today, she didn't carry a gun anymore.  
  
Derek made his way back to her lips with his. His hands holding her hips, and rolling his hips against hers. "God, Morgan..." She whined.   
"Tonight's all about you, pretty girl."  
"Fuck me, Morgan." She gasped.

And he happily obliged, pressing himself into her and making her moan his name.  
"That's it, pretty girl." His motions were flawless, he wanted her to forget all her troubles. He leaned in and pressed his lips to her neck.   
"Morgan!" And he moved and cupped her chin, kissing her jawline. 

She was moaning, and his hands held and gently caressed her body, making sure she was happy. 

* * *

Hotch felt incredibly awful about what he had to do to get Strauss off his back. Someone had let the section chief know what happened at the bar.  
All he wanted to do right now was apologize.   
  
He went out and bought the biggest bouquet of roses he could find, and rehearsed in his head over and over what he was going to say. How sorry he was, that politics were shit, and how he didn't mean any of it. He just needed to say it while Strauss overheard him, so they wouldn't both be fired and possibly sued or arrested.   
  
As he pulled up to her building, he took a deep breath, and adjusted his suit and tie. She was all he had left, and he needed to win her back.   
When he got to her door, he heard noises, which he assumed was the tv. He was about to knock when he heard her scream.   
  
He almost pulled his firearm before he heard the voices, "Yes, Morgan! Fuck!"  
"You're so good, Em!"  
"Morgan, I'm gonna...!"  
  
Hotch's eyes went wide and his heart shattered. She had every right after what he did to her, and he knew that. He had told her it was over. But with their colleague who happened to be younger and built better than he was? Not to mention it had only been half a day since he told her.  
It hurt, a lot.   
He dropped the flowers at her doorstep, and turned to walk out. 

* * *

When they finished, they just laid there, curled up together. The movie still playing in the background.   
"See? I told you, you're worth it." Morgan hummed, running his fingers up her side.   
She rolled her eyes and smiled.  
Morgan smiled back at her, and caressed her cheek with his thumb. "_You_ gotta remember you're worth it."  
Emily looked away from him. "If I'm so worth it, how come I've got no one?"  
"You've got me."  
She looked down, "I've got no job, no family.... You guys and work was my life."  
"You _still_ have me. You have this."  
"So are you really going to tell me us hooking up is going to solve my problems?"  
"It solved about half a dozen problems of mine."  
"Are you really going to give a rat's ass about me after a hot minute of me not being on the team?"  
"Brooks, you're family. To the whole team. Not just me."  
"Well from what little I know about it, looks like family can be tossed aside like trash." She sat up and turned away from him.   
  
Morgan sighed, and he leaned up, "Yeah, what Hotch did was messed up. I agree." And he wrapped his arms around her from behind. "But it's not the end. No matter how bad it looks. It'll get better." She pulled away from him and looked him square in the eye.   
  
"I was abandoned by my parents when I was born. I was raised in a foster home where I was physically and sexually abused from the time I was 8. I started drinking when I was 11. And I finally got to leave when I was 15, and I thought I was happy for a while after I got away from them. I even stopped drinking. Jason died when I was 22. He was shot in what we thought was a random mugging. So I started drinking again. I stopped so I could do something good with my life. So I joined the FBI after getting my PhDs. I thought I was going to be alone forever. Until one day, my boss, whom I'd fallen for, kisses me and we start this forbidden whirlwind relationship for a few months."  
"Now? I was just kidnapped, by a man who'd been stalking me, and who killed my fiancé in cold blood in front of me. My fiancé, who was the love of my life, and was the only man who will truly ever love me. So yeah, I'd been drinking again. And _barely_ a month later, I get sloppy and get drunk with you guys at the bar, and I kiss the man I think I'm possibly in love with. He takes me home, we even sleep together, and the next day, he tells me he's dumping me and kicking me out of my job."  
  
"So don't tell me it gets better. It doesn't."  
  
"Emily...."   
  
"And you better not look at me like a victim."  
"I won't." He brushed some hair away from her face.

They both just stayed like that for what could have been an eternity.   
  
"It's getting late.... Wanna come to bed with me?" She asked softly.   
"Anything for you, sweet girl." He took her hand, and she lead him off to her bedroom. 

* * *

Emily woke up in the middle of the night shaking, she was going through withdrawal and she knew it. Derek had his arms wrapped around her, and he snored softly.  
  
She slipped out of his grip and out of the bed. Derek stirred a bit, but stayed asleep.  
She tip-toed into the kitchen and quickly grabbed her bottle of tequila, taking a generous swig. And another. And another.

She drank well into the early morning, and finally stumbled back to her bed around 5AM, passing out next to Derek.

Derek woke up about an hour later. He looked over to the brunette sprawled out on top of the sheets, and he immediately knew what happened. "Dammit." He muttered. He looked over to her clock and knew it was time for him to get going to work anyways. He needed to get showered and dressed. And he needed to get her up too. "Em?" He gently shook her. "Em, you gotta wake up." She didn't respond.   
  
Plan B.   
  
He scooped her up, and carried her to the bathroom. He put her gently into the tub and turned the shower on. Emily gasped, coming back into consciousness.  
  
"We had a deal." Morgan said, as the brunette tried to scramble out of the shower.  
"What the hell?" She gasped, pulling a towel around herself, trying to warm herself up.

"You said you wouldn't drink."  
  
"Yeah, so I lied. I'm an addict." She muttered, shaking.  
"You're getting dressed. And we're going to the BAU." He said, arms crossed over his bare chest. "You and Hotch are going to hash this out."

"I resigned." She said. "And I don't want to see him."  
  
"And you're going to drink yourself into a hole unless you deal with this."   
"So?" Emily rolled her eyes, and they left the bathroom.   
  
Morgan pulled on his clothes, "I'm not letting you kill yourself over this." So help him, he was going to make Hotch give her back her job.  
"I'm not going to kill myself."   
"If you keep going like this, you sure as hell will." He said, "Get dressed."  
"You're not going to leave me alone until I do, are you?"  
"You got that right."

They got their things ready to go, and Emily wrote Hotch a quick letter, and snuck in a quick shot.  
  
Morgan offered her a smile. "You know you've got this."   
She sighed, and he opened the door to her apartment seeing the flowers near her doormat.  
"Did you bring me roses last night?" Emily asked.  
Morgan shook his head. "No, just the movie and the chinese food." Her breathing sped up. "Hey, they look like they were dropped. It's probably an accident." He had to remind her: her stalker was dead.  
"You're right. And they're different." Her breathing calmed down. "Let's just go."

* * *

Hotch hadn't slept at all that night. He had pulled a page from Emily's book and decided to drown himself in alcohol.   
He knew all of this was all his fault. 

And when he noticed Morgan and Emily walking into the BAU, he got a jealous feeling in the pit of his stomach. And he hated that.

He also noticed Emily wasn't dressed in business apparel. She was wearing high waisted jean shorts and a white tank top. She didn't look like she was here to talk business. But he watched as the team circled her. 

* * *

"Oh no, you're not leaving me." Penelope Garcia said, coming up from behind Emily and Morgan. "You're not leaving us."

"Garcia..."  
"No. No, no, no, no, no." She said, quickly, "I'm not adjusting to some new profiler. Who I don't know, who's probably boring and-"   
"It's out of my hands, now, Garcia. I gave Hotch my badge and gun."

"Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, there must be other options." JJ started.   
"I don't think I have another choice."  
"You always have another choice." Prentiss added. 

Morgan gave Emily a look, then they both looked to Hotch's office.   
"I just... I gotta talk to Hotch, then I'm going to clear out my desk." She said, "Sorry, guys."

* * *

Emily slowly made her way up to Hotch's office, and he had been waiting since she arrived, pretending to be busy.  
She softly knocked on his door, "Come in."

They starred at each other for a moment before Hotch went back pretending to do some paperwork. "What can I do for you, Dr. Brooks?"  
Emily pursed her lips, he hadn't called her by her professional title in a while.   
"Morgan said I should come and set things straight with you."  
  
"Did he, now?" He slowly set his pen down on his desk. "Was that before or after you slept with him?" He asked, coolly. 

She opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out. She couldn't find a retort. And she didn't know how he could possibly know that.   
Something clicked a moment later. "The roses... Were from you?"

"I stopped by last night to apologize. But you were... busy."

"You had left me." She defended, "In the worst way possible. I had every right."  
He looked down at his desk, "I know. It was my fault." He drove off all the women he loved.   
"Damn straight." She said back. 

"So why even do it?"  
"Strauss found out." He said, "And she was looking for something to use against me... She doesn't want to see us happy."

Emily swallowed hard. "So you still want me on the team?" Her voice was barely above a whisper. 

Hotch got up, and moved to close the blinds, to keep their nosy teammates away from their conversation. He heard a collective groan from the bullpen as he closed the blinds to his office.   
  
"I still want you. Yes."  
"That's not fair, Hotch."  
"I know, and I apologize."  
"I had written you this long letter telling you to shove it, and... I'm sorry." She said softly, "You should have told me. I never would have let that happen with Morgan if I thought I still had a chance with you."

"Politics are shit." She said, crossing her arms over her chest.   
"I know."  
"I need time to think everything over."  
"That's fine." He was tempted to reach out and touch her cheek, but he didn't. 

"I'm going to take my suspension and think. I want what's best for everyone."  
"I do too."  
"I'll be back in two weeks then." 

* * *

Emily breezed out of his office, everyone noticed that her head held higher than when she went in. Morgan gave her shoulder a supportive squeeze as she passed him. And instead of getting into the elevator, she turned and made the entire team curious. She made her way to section chief, Erin Strauss' office, and knocked, loudly.

"One moment" was the answer from the other side of the door. Moments later, Strauss opened the door, and Emily recoiled, she could practically taste the alcohol reeking from her boss.  
"Agent Brooks."  
"_Dr._ Brooks." Emily corrected.  
"Yes, of course. I heard you resigned. What can I do for you?"  
"Do you mind if I come in?" Emily brushed past the section chief into her office, not letting her answer.  
"Is this about your resignation?"  
"It is, actually." She took a seat before Strauss could offer it to her. "As of right now, I'm not an agent, and you're not officially my boss. But I'm taking my job back, after my suspension. I'm not leaving, and neither is Agent Hotchner. So I want you to tell Hotch you think it's a good idea that I have my job back." She knew she was playing with fire, but someone had to stick up for the both of them. Strauss opened her mouth, but closed it. "And I think you know exactly what I'm talking about. The blackmail is over with. We're both profilers, Agent Hotchner was a lawyer, and I have two doctorates. If you think we can't defend ourselves in a blackmail situation, you're wrong. And frankly, two can play at that game." She sniffed the air, "Scotch is your vice, I presume? I don't think the bureau would like to know one of their top agents is drinking on the job. So leave us alone, and I won't go above your head and report you. I know the director personally, and I don't think he'd tolerate someone risking lives like this." Strauss was dumbstruck. "An addict knows. And give the director five minutes, and he'll know too." Emily continued. "And I won't bring Rossi into this, but if I have to, I will." Strauss' affair with Rossi wasn't as well kept as she liked to think. "After all, fraternization is one thing, having an affair in the office is another. You are still married, aren't you?"  
  
"G-get out." Strauss stuttered.  
  
Emily got up, and moved over to the door. "I'll see you in two weeks."

* * *

The brunette pulled out her cellphone as she made it to her parking spot.   
_"Hotchner." _Was the answer on the other end of the line.  
"Hey, it's me.... I was thinking, I'd like it if you came over after work tonight. We really need to talk."  
_"I know, and I'd love to, but we're getting ready to head out on a case..."  
_"Ok, so when you come back?"_  
"I'll try my hardest."  
_"Be safe."  
_"You too."  
_"And call me if you guys need a hand."  
_"I will."_

* * *

The case was rough on the team. It was a couple kidnapping women to impregnate them, and killing them after they had their babies.

And Hotch was exhausted, emotionally and physically. He missed his son more and more everyday.  
He also wanted to know just what it was Emily wanted to talk about, he called and told her they were headed home, and if she still wanted to talk to him, that he'd be over as soon as he could get there.

When he did arrive, it took her a moment to answer the door.   
"I'm sorry it's so late," He apologized to the brunette as she rubbed her eyes when she opened the door.   
"Yeah, I was asleep when you called." And she let him in. "And I thought I looked bad." She muttered and wrapped her robe tightly around herself. "You look like hell... How was the case?"  
"It was fine. We managed to save a young woman and her newborn."

"That's awesome." She smiled but it quickly faded. "But that's not all, is it? Do you wanna talk about it?"  
"I miss Jack." He looked down. "It's been... too long."  
"I'm so sorry, Aaron." She said softly, and reached out to touch his arm. "Do you need a drink?"  
"You shouldn't have any alcohol here."  
"... Doesn't mean I can't." And Hotch watched Emily glide over to her liquor cabinet.   
  
"What did you need to talk about?"  
"I think that's probably the last thing you want to talk about." And she poured some scotch into a glass.   
"I didn't know you drank scotch."  
"I don't, I mean not really, but I know you do." Emily said and handed him the glass, which he thanked her for. "But I'll drink anything if I'm desperate."  
"You don't seem intoxicated now."  
"I'm not." She said, she didn't look at him, and she bit her lower lip. "I'm just not drinking right now." Which was odd for an alcoholic, he'd admit it. But he wasn't going to push it tonight.

"I'm sorry I'm not very exciting tonight." He said, and put his empty glass on the counter.   
"It's like, 1AM, I don't think I'm very exciting right now either."  
"You're always exciting." He said softly, and paused. "You know, I was thinking about you the entire case. And how I messed up."  
"You were trying to protect us."   
"And look what that caused."  
"None of this is your fault." She whispered, moving over to him.   
"I drove you into another man's arms."  
"So pull me back into yours." 

He quickly moved in and cupped her face, his lips crashing hard against hers.  
Emily let the robe drop from around her shoulders, telling him she wanted this, wanted him, and revealing a tight pajama tank top and a pair of briefs. 

Hotch picked her up, and Emily wrapped her legs around his waist, their lips not breaking contact. He carried her into her bedroom, and put her on her bed, climbing on top of her.  
He kissed her, desperately, tearing off his jacket, while she worked on his tie and unbuttoning his shirt. 

Hotch rocked his hips against hers, creating a delicious friction between them.   
He pulled off her pajama top, and just stared at her for a moment, softly reaching out and caressing her cheek before kissing her again, and letting his hands travel down to her waist. "Em...!" He moaned into her ear.   
  
"I'mma rock your world, Hotch...!" She moaned right back, and he captured her lips again. "You can take me any way you want... I just need you..!"  
He hushed her, and pulled off her underwear. He slowly pushed two fingers into her with one hand, while the other cupped her cheek.   
"Hotch!"  
  
He felt her bucking against his fingers, and smirked softly into their kiss, before increasing his pace. "Hotch!" 

She cried out for him, begging for more, and Hotch was more than willing to oblige, so he pulled his fingers away from her, and worked on taking off his trousers.   
Emily locked lips with him for a moment, and helped him with his pants and boxer-briefs, slipping out from underneath him. 

"I want you."   
"I know." He cupped her cheeks and kicked away his pants.   
  
"I wanna ride you.." She whispered to him, then attached her lips to his neck.   
"I would love that." So Emily gently pushed him back on her bed, and she crawled on top of him, their lips locking again. Her hands roaming his chest, then traveling down to his erection. And Hotch licked his lips.   
  
She gently stroked him, letting her fingertips brush against his head. Hotch leaned his head back, "So good, Em."  
  
Emily moved to straddle him, hovered over him and slowly lowered herself onto him, making them both moan. And Hotch pulled her to his chest, then gently cupped her face and pulled her in for a deep kiss, which she deepened, shoving her tongue in his mouth.   
  
She bounced on him, and he grabbed her waist, bucking his hips in time with her. 

  
But Hotch could tell when she was getting close, and he decided he'd take over, flipping over so he was on top, just how he liked. 

She whimpered, as she got closer and closer, wrapping her legs around his waist once again, just as he picked up a steady, powerful rhythm. He wasn't anywhere close, but he knew she was. 

"Aaron!" She was gasping, so excited and so close. "Aaron, I'm gonna....!" He kept moving as he was for another few minutes before she was screaming his name, her body tightening around him.   
He let out a sharp moan, and started moving faster, before pressing his body on top of hers, and kissing her again. 

Hotch loved making love to her. He loved watching her move, and feeling her body. He loved hearing her scream his name. He regretted ever making her think he didn't care. "I love you." It was barely a whisper, it was the first time he had said it to her, and he meant it, but she didn't hear it, she was too preoccupied with his movements.  
"Hotch!"  
  
He sped up, again, and could feel himself getting close. He leaned up so he could angle himself deeper, and she grabbed his bicep. "Hotch!"  
"You.... alright?" He panted.  
"I'm gonna climax...!" Again? That was new for them.  
And she did, with Hotch finishing soon afterwords, and collapsing next to her. 

Hotch pulled her close and softly kissed her lips. "I love you." He repeated.   
Her eyes went wide, and she grinned, "I love you more." She murmured back, and pressed a kiss to his lips. 

"I also wanted to tell you, before anyone else..." He said softly.   
"Hmm?"  
"I'm stepping down as unit chief."  
She pulled away from him, "Are you kidding?"   
"Morgan will be taking over. "  
"Why?"  
"Strauss thinks I'm getting too reckless. She told me she was going to replace me, unless I promoted from within."  
"She what? I told her to backoff and-"   
"_You_ did what?" His brow furrowed, he frowned and his relaxation drifted away.  
"She was threatening us. Threatening you, so I-"  
"You were in the wrong."   
"Hotch, she's trying to destroy you. Destroy _us_... You're dealing with a lot; you don't need her on top of Foyet."  
"And now I can focus on Foyet. But that doesn't excuse what you did."  
"I wasn't an agent. And she was drunk."  
"It's _still_ no excuse."  
She was quiet for a while, but then said, "What do you want from me? I did it for us."  
"And a small part of me is flattered. But it's insubordination."  
"And I'd do it again."


	6. Reaper Pt. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reaper, George Foyet, makes his second appearance when Haley Hotchner is killed.
> 
> Takes place during episode 100.
> 
> "A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is brave five minutes longer." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Something was wrong. Emily Brooks, as Aaron Hotchner knew, was always one of the first in to work every morning, and because of their secret relationship, one of the last out of the office, lately, alongside himself.

She hadn't called in and she hadn't made any note of going anywhere. Originally he had worried about her mental health. He knew she was truly starting to deal with everything. And with everything he had pieced together about her past... He knew he should have gone over to check on her, but with someone, who turned out to be a woman, killing families, how could he? She had repeatedly told him not to treat her like a child, to let her deal with her own problems. Even though the father in him hated that.

When he got the letter from the Reaper, George Foyet, his heart stopped. He immediately knew it was bad. His ex-wife, his son, and now he realized his girlfriend, were all in danger.  
"He's torturing him! It's great to see you squirm, agent Hotchner!"

"She's missing. She has to be."  
"Who?" Prentiss asked, as Hotch moved briskly out of the facility.  
"Emily. It's the reason she didn't show up for work."  
"You think the Reaper has her?"  
"It's the only scenario that makes sense." His head was spinning. "She wouldn't change her routine without something major happening. Her therapist said she shouldn't."  
Prentiss didn't press the fact he knew what her therapist was telling her, or the fact he knew she had one.  
"What's our next move?"  
"Already on it." He said, pulling out his cellphone, "I need a full forensic team to 314 Wakeman street, apartment 19."

* * *

When Hotch arrived at the small apartment, to which he'd snuck to several times in the past few weeks, his felt like he'd been kicked in the stomach. It was a mess. There was obvious signs of a struggle, and of forced entry.  
"We found traces of blood, chloroform, and a bullet fragment." Said one of the techs.  
"He shot her." Hotch's heart dropped.  
"Or she shot him." Prentiss said, hopefully.  
"We'll run the blood and see who's it is." The tech said.  
"And he use chloroform to render her unconscious. She has no way to fight him... Even if she was shot, she would have at least been able to fightback somewhat."  
"Hotch, don't lose hope. She's strong, she'll get through this."  
"This is the Reaper we're talking about. Over 30 victims, and he's got a grudge against me."  
Prentiss had never seen him this emotional, or this pessimistic. "We'll find her."  
"We need to go find Sam Kassmeyer. He's the marshal handling Jack and Hailey's case."

* * *

Upon arriving at the Kassmeyer residence, the door was left wide open. Hotch just knew the Reaper had been there.  
He had a feeling that the Reaper knew where Jack and Hailey were.  
When they rushed in, they quickly cleared the house, and found the marshal near death on the floor.  
"Sam?" Hotch knelt by his side.  
"We need an ambulance. Federal Officer down."  
"I wouldn't...I wouldn't..."  
"We're getting an ambulance."  
"I tried."  
"Hang on. Just hang on. "  
"I'm sorry."  
"What are you sorry for?"  
"I... I tried."  
"Are Jack and Hailey safe?" Sam just wheezed in response. "Sam, tell me what happened."  
"I don't know how he got in."  
"Sam, I need to understand. Does he know where jack and haley are?"  
"I didn't..."  
"What about her phone number? What's her safe phone number?"  
"I didn't...it won't matter. I--I tried, Hotch."  
"Gunshot wounds to each leg, one foot, He's missing several fingers, and appears to be badly beaten." Reid said as a paramedic came in.  
The paramedic practically pushed past Hotch. "Clear out of the way. Get me a c-collar, prep me a saline drip While I grab a round of vitals. Sam, are you allergic to any medication?"  
"Hotch." Sam whimpered.  
"Sam, I'm right here."  
"I tried."  
"Make sure they have a trauma surgeon standing by."

"He... He got my phone Hotch.... Just started calling numbers... He got to Hailey's... He said we were killed..."  
"Did he say he was going to her? Or about anything else?... Anyone else?"  
Sam half nodded. "She may be going to him.... I'm so sorry Hotch..."

He's got all of them. Everyone I love. Hotch thought to himself. "I'll ride with you to the hospital."

When he finally called Foyet, his hands were shaking, not with fear, with pure rage.  
"Agent Hotchner."  
"If you touch them-"  
"Be gentle like I was with you? What the hell took you so long? I was beginning to think this phone was dead or something. Why so quiet? You usually lash out when you're frustrated."  
"I'm not frustrated."  
"You're more predictable than you think."  
"Am I? You didn't know where Hailey was, So you made her come to you."  
"You make me sound lazy."  
"Just another way for you to show control."  
"Oh, that's terrible."  
"You're mother tried to protect you from your father, But she wasn't strong enough.  
And you hated her for that, didn't you? You decided that all women were weak."  
"Those are your words, not mine."  
"What were you? It was a car accident, that you couldn't take credit for. That had to be hard for you."  
"But poor george got another chance. The little orphan was saved by the wealthy, sterile eastside couple, the Foyets."  
"And the story should have ended there. I don't believe in fairy tales. Do you?"  
"That's the thing, George. This isn't a fairy tale. You don't have to write this story. You don't have to do any of this."  
I know you're exhausted. Always looking over your shoulder, Always wondering when the other shoe is gonna drop. Haven't you gotten what you wanted? You've set yourself apart from anybody we've ever dealt with. You're not just a famous serial killer, you're the Reaper. We're gonna study you and your methods for years and years.  
"You know what i've been thinking? Haley looks pretty good with dark hair. She's lost some weight. Must be all the stress you caused her. Where's the little man? Oh, there he is. Does he like captain america because of you?" Another cellphone rang. "That's your wife. I mean ex-wife. Hold, please.... Mrs. Hotchner."  
"I'm here. Open the gate and I'll drive in."  
"Ok... Aaron? I really gotta go."

Hailey was driving some place with a gate? It had to be his old house.  
Was Emily there too?

His phone buzzed, moments later.  
"Aaron? You're ok?"  
"I'm fine."  
"But He said that... Oh, Aaron."  
"He can hear us, right?"  
"Yes." Hailey whimpered.  
"I am so sorry. Haley, show him no weakness, no fear."  
"I know. Sam told me all about him. Is he, uh...?"  
"No, sam is fine."  
"Aaron, Aaron, Aaron. Is that why your marriage broke up, Because you're a liar?  
Don't listen to him, Haley... Foyet, Where's Emily..?"  
"I have sam's service phone right here. They sent out a mass text about his death. You can take a look if you want." He ignored the question.  
"He's trying to scare you."  
"Did you even tell her what this was about? About the deal?"  
"He's just trying to make you angry."  
"She's gonna D-I-E... Because of your inflated ego."  
"Ignore him, Hailey."  
"I''m sure you don't want her to know this part either. You know, all he had to do was stop looking for me And you wouldn't be in this mess... Or the fact you're banging that cute little doctor."  
"Don't react." Aaron's heart started to race. He had all three of them. He knew about him and Emily.  
"What is he talking about?" Hailey asked softly.  
"Tell Jack I need him working the case."  
"What?"  
"Tell Jack I need him working the case."  
"Jack. Did you hear that?"  
The phone was passed to the small boy.  
"Hi, daddy."  
"Hi, buddy."  
"Is George a bad guy?"  
"Yes, he is. Jack, I need you on this case with me. Do you understand? I need you to work the case with me."  
"Ok, daddy."  
"Jack, hug your mom for me." He paused "Jack, is my friend Emily there...?"  
"Mommy you hug me too tight."  
"I'm sorry." Haley pulled away from her son.  
"Why are you sad?" The small boy asked innocently.  
"Oh, I just love you so much."  
"Mommy, i gotta go. I'm working the case."  
"Ok."  
"He's so cute. He's like a little junior g-man. I'll be right up, Jackie-boy!" Foyet called.  
"Is he gone? "  
"Yes."  
"You're so strong, Haley. you're stronger than I ever was."  
"You'll hurry, right?"  
"I know you didn't sign on for this."  
"Neither did you."  
"I'm sorry for everything."  
"Promise me that you will tell him how we met And how you used to make me laugh."  
"Hailey..."  
"He needs to know that you weren't always so serious, Aaron. I want him to believe in love, Because it is the most important thing. But you need to show him. Promise me."  
"I.. Promise.."  
There were a total of three gunshots, and Hotch burst into tears, throwing his phone onto the dash.

Hotch slammed his foot down on the gas, and floored it to his old house.

As soon as he arrived, he curbed the car, not even caring what it did to the lawn or the car. He ran, gun drawn, and he broke down the door to his old home.  
The home he brought Jack home to, his marital home.

The first thing he searched for was Haley, as he cleared the house. His first love. His ex, the mother of his son.  
He grabbed a flashlight from a nearby drawer, to go into the darker rooms.  
He saw traces of blood. and flicked the flashlight to follow the blood up the stairs.  
He quickly cleared two more rooms, including a guest room, when he saw her feet and he knew it was Hailey.

When he quickly looked up, he saw a pair of black shoes under the curtains. He quickly released a full cartridge of ammo into Foyet.  
His body dropped, tangled with the curtain he was hiding behind.

For a moment, Aaron thought it was over. He pushed some of the curtains aside, and tossed the gun Foyet was holding away from his body.  
But when he noticed no blood, Aaron realized Foyet was just fine; he'd been wearing a bulletproof vest.

Foyet sucker-punched Aaron so quick, he would have done a double take. He fell back as Foyet tried to escape, and Aaron pulled his ankle gun out and fired, hitting Foyet. He stumbled, but quickly grabbed his long nosed pistol and returned fire, missing him by what seemed like centimeters.  
Aaron lunged to grab the man whom has killed his wife, and potentially, his girlfriend. Which made his mind race yet again, there was no trace of her.  
When he lunged, the nearby table fell, knocking both of them down, and sent them tumbling down the stairs.

Hotch was the first one to get up, and swiftly kicked Foyet in the stomach as he tried to get up.

The threw each other back and forth, Aaron smashing Foyet's head against a wall, then against a picture. Foyet punched and hit Aaron over the head with a glass bowl.  
They both managed to take down the dining room table.  
"After I finish you... I'm gonna find that little bastard son of yours And I'm gonna show him both of his dead parents and his dead step-mommy-to-be. And I'm gonna tell him that it was all your fault..."  
Aaron quickly smacked him in the back with a leg from the dining room table, sending Foyet to the ground, so Aaron could punch him, hard.  
"Ok. you got--you got me. I surrender!"  
"Where is she?"  
"Where's wh-" Aaron wasn't messing around, and sent another hard punch. "ARGH!"  
"WHERE IS SHE?!" Aaron howled, but by then the Reaper, George Foyet, had gone limp.  
"WHERE IS SHE?" He was flashing back to everything. Everything he had, and everything the Reaper took from him.

"Hotch!" He heard Morgan's voice, distantly. "Hotch! He's dead! He's dead, Hotch! Hotch, stop!" Morgan said, "It's over." He repeated that like a new mantra, "It's over. It's over, man."  
Hotch collapsed back into Morgan. Sobbing.  
He wasn't sure how long he stayed like that, maybe seconds maybe minutes, before realizing the need to go find his son, And if he was lucky, Emily.  
He dragged himself to his feet. "Need to find them..."  
"Find who, Hotch?"  
"Jack... And Emily..." Tears were still streaming down his face. "He said "dead step-mommy-to-be"...."

He had an idea where Jack could be, but he needed to check. Aaron pulled himself over to his office. Jack had been known to hide in there when he was busy working.  
"Jack?" He slowly opened the chest he believed Jack was hiding in to see his small boy looking up at him.  
"I worked the case daddy, just like you said."  
"You did a great job, buddy."  
"What happened to you, daddy?"  
"I'm ok.... I want you to go outside with Ms. Jareau, ok?"  
Jack nodded, "Come here, sweetheart." And JJ picked him up.

As she left, Aaron broke down, crying.  
He got up again, slowly making it to the guest room where he'd found his ex-wife.  
He fell to his knees beside her, as Morgan was checking her pulse.  
Hotch scooped her up into his arms, and buried his face into Hailey's shoulder.

He held her for an uncertain about of time. Just crying. Holding the woman that he still loved in his arms

When the ME came back, after Morgan had ushered them away, Aaron let them take her.  
He went to go pick up a picture that had been smashed in the fight with Foyet, when he noticed noticed some blood in his old master bedroom.  
They hadn't been fighting in the master bedroom.

Going to look, Aaron's heart broke for a second time.  
He saw the smaller frame of the other woman he loved laid out, naked, covered in slash marks, stab wounds and blood, in, what looked to be, some sort of ritualistic way.  
"No..." That was the reaper's final act of revenge. Aaron moved to her side, and stroked her cheek. "I'm so sorry.." He whimpered.  
But when he noticed her chest still rising and falling, his heart leaped with hesitant joy. "Emily?"  
For all he knew, it could be part of death, the releasing of gasses. He quickly checked her vitals on her partially slashed neck.  
He found an incredibly weak pulse.  
"I NEED A MEDIC IN HERE NOW!" He roared, he grabbed a blanket off of a chair and draped it over her. "Stay with me, ok?" He murmured, and gently grabbed her hand.

Haley being shot was one thing, but here was his lover, carved up like a thanksgiving turkey. He couldn't imagine the pain she was in. He couldn't believe she was still alive.  
Foyet must have been torturing her when Hotch arrived... And he interrupted it. Which would explain the half slash on her neck. Foyet got sloppy.

Morgan was the first to enter the room to find his coworker and friend near death. "Oh god..!" Followed by the rest of the team.  
They all looked over at Hotch, who was as close as he possibly could be to her. She had already been going through so much, and this just... Hotch couldn't imagine.

The paramedics quickly started working on her, and tried to stop some of her bleeding.  
"I'm going with her. I want Jack to be checked out too." Hotch said.

Soon he was in the ambulance with Emily as the paramedics had checked Jack out beforehand and said he was fine. JJ said she'd bring him to the hospital to meet up with him.

Aaron refused to leave her side, even though the EMTs tried to get him to wait, or meet them at the hospital.

Emily's small frame was so close to bleeding out when they had gotten to, Aaron's heart feared the worst was going to happen. He was going to lose both of the women he loved.

When she started to code, Aaron was pushed aside, as the EMT tried whatever he could to fix the small, almost lifeless body. "What can I do?"  
"Just please stay back, agent."

Aaron felt tears rolling down his cheeks. If she left him.... God, she'd promised him that she'd be safe on her own. He should have protected her. He should have made her live with him after what happened with her stalker. He knew in his gut the Reaper was going to go after her.

When they arrived at the hospital, Emily was rushed into surgery. Aaron didn't get the chance to say anything.

The rest of the team arrived minutes later. Penelope holding Jack's hand as the Unit Chief rushed to him, and hugged him, crying.  
"Daddy, what's wrong?" The little boy asked softly, and brushed away his father's tears.  
"Oh, Jack..." He whimpered.

"Hotch?" It was Penelope. She had tears welling in her eyes "Is she...?"  
"I don't know." He felt hopeless. "She's in surgery now... But.. She coded in the ambulance."  
"Oh god!" She leaned over, and cried on Derek Morgan's shoulder.  
"She's gonna be ok, Hotch. She's strong." Morgan said.  
"I'm going to see what I can find out." JJ murmured, and Emily Prentiss followed in tow.

Aaron's head was spinning. He felt like he was going to be sick. But he could practically hear her in his ear, telling him that she was going to be ok.

He nearly collapsed onto a chair in the waiting room, sobbing. Jack crawled onto his father's lap and hugged him. "It's going to be ok, Daddy." And he rested his little head on his father's shoulder.

* * *

Aaron had finally cried himself out with his son asleep on his lap. His eyes were still puffy and red when the doctor came out to give them an update.  
"Doctor?"  
"Are you the next of kin?"  
"The closest thing to it, yes."  
"She's... stable. But she did lose a lot of blood... And with her being unconscious for as long as she was.... Right now... I'm worried about the brain damage from the lack of oxygen to her brain. We won't be able to fully gauge the true extent of the damage for another 72 hours.... She's currently on life support..." Aaron's eyes went wide as he looked at the doctor. He felt his heart racing. "And... I don't know if she knew it. But she was eleven weeks pregnant."  
"You said "was"." Aaron breathed.  
The surgeon slowly nodded. "Yes, I did."

"No..." He put his hand over his eyes as he felt fresh tears falling.  
"Were you-"  
"Yes." He knew what the doctor was going to ask, if he was the father.  
"I'm very sorry for your loss...." The doctor said, "She's in the Recovery for the ICU. We'll only be allowing one person in her room at a time."  
"T-thank you, Doctor."

"What did they say, Hotch?" Derek asked softly.  
"She's on life support.... They're still running tests. T-they're worried..." He ran a hand over his mouth, "About her brain.." He couldn't tell them about the pregnancy. He couldn't even bring himself to think about it. "Can I leave Jack with you?" He looked to JJ and Penelope.  
"Of course."

Hotch slowly made his way to Emily's room. Somewhere in his mind, if he walked slower, it wasn't real. He wouldn't have to see her in such a condition.  
When he stepped in, he clenched his fists and his teeth. He didn't want her to see him cry, even though she couldn't see.

She had tubes, wires, bandages and stitches everywhere.  
He wanted to hold her and tell her everything was going to be ok. He knew he couldn't, and he knew it was all his fault. It was his fault Emily was in this condition. It was his fault Haley was dead. And it was his fault Jack was left without a mother.  
"You can't leave me. You're not allowed to leave me.... That's a direct order." He swallowed hard. "I love you." He whispered, and reached out for her hand, gently kissing it.

He held her hand for a what seemed like only moment before the nurse came in.  
"Visiting hours are over."

He opened his mouth to protest, to show his badge and wave her off. But he didn't. He knew he had Jack to look after.

Aaron quietly left, looking back as he did, just wanting to hold her.  
"Daddy?" He heard the small boy whimper, "I'm sleepy."  
"I know buddy, we're gonna go home." Aaron scooped him up, and looked to JJ and Penelope. "Thank you both."  
"Sure. How is she?"  
"As bad as it sounded. Maybe worse."  
"I'm sorry, Hotch." Morgan put his hand on Hotch's shoulder. "But she's gonna pull through.... She has to."

"I need to make funeral arrangements for Haley. Probably for Emily too. Excuse me." He said, quietly, and carried Jack out of the hospital.

* * *

It was only three days later and the team was called away on a case, during Haley's funeral.  
Hotch stayed in Quantico, he had too many things to attend to, including dealing with bureau politics like Strauss wanted him to.

A day later, she was in his apartment.  
She wanted him to take an early retirement, but of course she did. She feigned empathy for him, and it was easy for her. By now, Emily would have told off their superior.  
"How long do I have to think it over?"  
"I thought I'd be leaving with an answer..."  
Hotch opened his mouth to respond, when his phone rang. He excused himself, and watched as Strauss tried to sit with Jack for a moment, even though she looked incredibly uncomfortable.

"Hotchner." He answered.  
"Good morning, Mr. Hotchner. My name is Dr. Matthews with the Naval Health Clinic..."  
"Yes, I believe we met... Is this about Emily Brooks?"  
"It is. You asked us to keep you informed if her status changes," The doctor replied, and his heart sunk. "She just woke up." Hotch's heart skipped a beat, and he sighed in relief.   
"I'll be down there as soon as I can." He thanked the doctor and hung up. He turned to Strauss, "I'm going to have to cut this short... Dr. Brooks is awake."  
"I see. Take your time. But keep my offer in mind."  
"I will." He scooped up Jack and ushered Strauss out. He grabbed a few things and left with Jack moments later.

He did his best to keep to the speed limit, knowing Jack was with him but it was one of the harder things he had done in life.  
When he arrived, he took Jack to the children's room before heading to the ICU.

"I'm looking for Emily Brooks?" He asked at the nurse's station.  
"Are you... Aaron Hotchner?"  
"That's right."  
"She's been asking for you. Her room is this way. And she's still weak, so don't upset her."

They walked down a long corridor, full of the sick and dying in the ICU. Most rooms were filled with families circled around their loved ones. But in one of the last rooms in the hall, there was only one other person besides the patient. 

  
A nurse was standing near her, was holding a board with the alphabet on it. She would blink her eyes whenever she was trying to spell out a word or a phrase. Hotch felt his heart drop to his stomach; she couldn't even speak.   
"Emily..." He murmured, as he walked into her room. 

She looked over and saw Hotch, and he could see tears welling in her eyes, and the nurse immediately tried to calm her down. Emily just looked over to him, and mouthed "I'm sorry".  
"Don't apologize. You didn't do anything wrong. _I'm_ sorry." When she opened her mouth again, he added, "Foyet is dead."  
She sighed in relief. "But how are _you_?" He asked, and she looked away from him. 

" 'otch..." She said weakly, and he hushed her.  
He looked over to the nurse, "You can leave now." He said, and she nodded, leaving them both.   
He took a seat near her, and silently asked to hold her hand by holding out his, and she slowly, shakily took it.   
  
Hotch was quiet. He just wanted her to feel safe again. He could only speculate the full extent of what the Reaper did to her, but he was pretty sure what he was thinking was right. She was Foyet's type. And the Reaper wanted to do anything to piss Hotch off. He wouldn't ask her about it now, or about the pregnancy.   
  
"I love you." He said softly.   
"L-love you too..." Her voice was shaky.   
"Please, don't speak." He wanted to hold her in his arms and protect her from absolutely anything he could.   
"Jack?"   
"He's fine." And Emily looked away from him, he was sure she knew about Haley. "It's not your fault." He said softly, "And I don't want you reliving it right now."   
It was easier said than done. All she'd been doing since she woke up was reliving the whole experience. 

She opened her mouth to speak, but he hushed her again. "Can you write?" He asked. She started to shake her head "no" but whimpered in pain with the slash on her neck. "It's ok, we don't have to talk." He said, "But, I wanted your opinion.... Strauss offered me early retirement."  
Emily opened her mouth slightly, in surprise.   
"It would get me home to raise Jack, and... we could be together... out in the open." He looked a her cut up hand. "Which makes sense. And is probably the better option for us. Especially while you're healing. And the retirement is more than enough for three people to live on. You wouldn't have to work either."

" 'otch...."  
  
"I want your opinion."

"...I dunno..."

"We have time to discuss it... Maybe when you're feeling better, we can talk about it more."  
She gave a half nod, and offered him a small smile. 


	7. Haunted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily's finally awake and need to talk things over with Hotch.
> 
> Chapter song is Haunted by Taylor Swift
> 
> "We can appear to be tough as nails, but guys have a level of insecurity and vulnerability that's exponentially bigger than you think. With the primal urge to be alpha comes extreme heartbreak. The harder we fight, the harder we fall." - John Krasinski

It had been almost two weeks since Emily woke up.   
And Hotch had been there almost every day, as was most of the team, Penelope especially, except when he was on a case. And he said he'd keep working, unless they decided differently. 

They never talked about what happened, or what was going to happen. And now that she was feeling better, and healing up, she was able to write down what she needed to, and talk longer than before, and even able to get around a little bit on her own. 

* * *

Today, she was being discharged. And right on time, Hotch was there, gathering her things and had brought her some clothes to change into, which she thanked him for as soon as he arrived.   
"Aaron," She said softly after the nurse had taken out her IV and left. "I think we need to talk. About everything."  
"I agree." His back was to her as he was picking up some flowers and a teddy bear that the team, mostly Penelope, had sent her. "Like, I don't know where I'm taking you, your place or mine."  
"Mine." She said softly. No matter how much she wanted to go to his. Hotch was slightly surprised, he was almost certain she was going to go to his place.   
"Okay," He agreed, and offered to help her into a dress he brought for her, but she told him she'd do it herself, and slowly made her way to the bathroom to change out of the hospital gown. He heard groaning and a slew of profanities, but he knew he needed to let her do this for herself.  
She came out looking disheveled,   
  
A nurse came in moment later with a wheelchair to wheel her out. "Ready to go, Miss Brooks?" She never corrected the nurses or the doctors on her title.   
Emily nodded, and Hotch let her hold onto him as she got into the wheelchair.   
"I've got her," He said, and offered to take her down so the nurse didn't have to. 

They were quiet on the elevator ride down to the parking garage, and he slowly helped her into his large SUV once they reached his parking spot. 

Emily groaned in pain, as she got into the seat.   
"I'm sorry," Hotch whispered softly.   
"I'm fine, I just gotta deal with it."  
"Do you need me to pick up a prescription?"   
She snorted, "Do you really think it's a good idea to give an addict a pain medication?"  
"Probably not." And he pulled out of the garage.   
She was quiet for a moment, "They, um, said my liver's in bad shape."  
"Was that all they told you?"  
She sucked her top teeth, and paused. "What did they tell you?" Her voice was quiet, and she brushed some hair away from her face. There was a bit that she didn't want him to know.  
"That... you were pregnant." He said, "Far enough along to know it." And that was part of what she didn't want him to know.  
"I, um... "  
"You don't have to explain." Even though he wanted an explanation. By the grace of God, Jack hadn't been hurt by the Reaper, but he lost a child he didn't even know he helped conceive.   
"I _need_ to explain..." She said, though she didn't have a good reason that she didn't tell him. "I owe you that.... Even if I don't know how to."  
"When did you find out?"  
"About five weeks in..."  
They both went quiet.   
  
About halfway to her apartment, Hotch asked, "Did _he_ know?" By He, she knew Hotch meant George Foyet, the Reaper.   
"I'm assuming so." She replied. "If he was following me, he more than likely saw me going to the clinic."  
Hotch had a death grip on the steering-wheel, and clenched his jaw. Foyet thought he killed three people Hotch cared about, and died thinking he did. 

"Did... Did you see my stomach...?" She asked quietly.   
"You were naked when I found you. I saw the gashes."   
She licked her dry lips, then bit her lower lip. "Did you see what he carved into those gashes?" She looked away from him.   
He nearly decided to slam on the breaks and demand to see. But he kept his death grip on the wheel, and kept his eyes locked forward. 

"He carved his mark into my stomach.... And it's... really visible..." She looked away from him, and he heard her sniffle. "I'll have a reminder for the rest of my life..." He could tell she was crying. 

"I'm so sorry." He took one of her hands, slightly wet with tears, kissed her hand then held it on the center console. "We're going to get through this."  
  
"That's just it, Hotch. I don't think that we're a good idea anymore..."   
He blinked. "Emily?"  
"Hotch, we're going to get each other killed. By the grace of god, neither of us have been killed yet by the people after us. Next time, we might not be so lucky... In our line of work, there's always going to be another Reaper, or stalker, or some bad guy who wants to hurt us. This is why there's a fraternization policy, I'm sure of it..."

Hotch kept ahold of her hand, and tightened his grip, both on her hand and the wheel. When she yelped, he dropped her hand.   
She pulled he hand close to her chest, as one of the cuts on her hand started to bleed, a bit.  
"I'm sorry."  
"I know." She said softly, "And I know, that you know, that I'm right."   
"I know." 

"Hotch, I want to be with you more than anything... But one, or both, of us aren't going to make it out of this alive, if we keep going." 

"I love you...." He whispered.  
"I love you, too. And I'll always love you. But I'm sorry... We can't do this anymore.... _I_ can't do this anymore..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “And in the end all I learned was how to be strong… Alone.” - Anonymous


	8. Breakeven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song is Breakeven by The Script
> 
> "Your feelings so are important to write down, to capture, and to remember because today you're heartbroken, but tomorrow you'll be in love again." - Taylor Swift

It took six months for Emily to get back to the line of duty.  
Six months of lounging around an empty house, with a new security system Hotch installed while she was in the hospital. 

And coming back was worse than she had thought.   
She and Hotch could barely look at one another, and they both knew their work was suffering because of it. Not to mention the team was picking up on their odd vibes. 

So one afternoon, she pulled him aside.   
"We need to talk."  
"I agree."  
  
They walked up to his office from the bullpen, and they shut the door behind them.

"I thought we'd be able to, at the very least, work together."  
"I had a feeling we'd never be able to." He replied.   
"So what should we do?"  
"I don't want to ask you to do this... But..."  
"You're thinking of transferring me?" Her voice was quiet.  
"I would help the both of us. And we wouldn't be stuck in this situation every day."  
"I know..."   
He still wanted to see her face every day, and it had taken everything he had not to come see her each and every moment she was still recovering, and take her to each follow up doctor's appointment.   
"I could get you into counter terrorism."  
"Yeah, that's... that's fine." She said, softly.  
"Emily, please... Don't do this." His voice was soft, but desperate.  
"I'm sorry... I just... Don't think I'll have a home in any other unit like the BAU."  
He wanted to reach out and touch her but he didn't. "You'll do great."

They both went quiet for a moment, before Emily spoke up. "Was that all, sir?"  
Hotch blinked, but nodded. "That's all."

* * *

_About a year and a half later._

Emily was thriving, her life was coming together, and she was no longer afraid of her own apartment, or being alone.   
She was still close with most of the team after her transfer, and occasionally would go out with them, not even needing to drink anymore. 

She even agreed to go to Hotch's triathlon that he was doing for the FBI. She wouldn't have to hang around him, she didn't think she could, but she'd always cheer him on. 

Garcia, JJ and Prentiss were all hung over from the night before. Thankfully, Emily had decided not to hang out with them. 

When Jack saw her, he attached himself to her legs in a hug. "Dr. Emily!" He squeaked. They'd grown close when Jack and Hotch came to visit her in the hospital multiple times.

Emily smiled and hugged him back, and then he asked why he hadn't seen her in so long. She looked off to the direction where Hotch would soon be coming up. "Well, I don't work with your daddy anymore."  
"Why?"  
"Because we needed some space from one another."  
"Why?"  
"Because sometimes you can't really be friends with someone anymore after something happens."  
"Why?"  
"Because.... Because being an adult sucks."  
And she left it at that. 

Morgan pulled Jack onto his shoulders, and they all cheered, well most of them cheered, other than Garcia, Prentiss and JJ who begged for the noise to stop. Hotch finished up his triathlon just as Reid said he would. Emily stayed back a bit, letting the team enjoy him.

The small boy jumped off Morgan's shoulders and ran up to his father.   
The whole group followed behind.   
"You did it!"  
"I did, buddy. I did. Can you believe it?" Hotch smiled at his son.  
"Did you see my sign?"   
"I did." And Hotch handed him the medal he was given for completing the triathlon. "That's for you, buddy. Your sign's fantastic."  
"How do you feel?" Rossi asked Hotch.  
"I think I'm gonna live."  
"Pretty impressive. I had money on the swim killing you." Prentiss teased.  
"I practiced."

"And it paid off. Good job." Morgan smiled at his boss.  
"Thank you."

The team made mention of grabbing something to eat, when Emily stood forward a bit.

"You did great, Hotch." Emily said, stepping around her old teammates.  
"You made it," He said still slightly panting, smiling at her.   
  
"Hotchner!" Hotch and Emily turned, and Hotch's face lit up.  
"Beth...! Jack, there's somebody I want you to meet. Come here."  
  
The team's eyes all fell on Emily as Hotch was introducing his son to his new "friend".  
"What?" She snapped, annoyed. "He can see whoever he wants to see."  
"You coming with us to get something to eat?"  
"I..." She saw Hotch walking over with the woman he referred to as Beth. "No... No, I've got a ton of paperwork on a case I'm woking on. I should really be getting to the office to finish it."


	9. Miss Brightside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After seeing Hotch with a new woman, Emily throws herself into her work and into dating new men.   
But now, a new case brings them together.
> 
> Song is Mr. Brightside by the Killers
> 
> "Jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire." - Solomon Ibn Gabirol

Emily hadn't been dealing well. She was angry, hurt, confused and more than anything: jealous. She could have sworn when she looked in the mirror that her blue eyes were pure green. 

She knew that she was the one who left him, but honestly, she believed she'd move on first. But it looked like she was wrong. 

So for the next few weeks, she'd gone on a few blind dates, but nothing. No one even remotely peaked her interest, no matter how handsome the guy was. 

But she had another date for later that night, but got called in last minute on a case.   
  
When she showed up to the office in a tiny, silver mini dress, and stiletto heels, the revealing clothes showing off her new tattoos, that she used to cover some of the scars. Now, she just put her head down and got to work, ignoring glances from the men she worked with. After all, with a terror threat, she didn't have time to go change or have a lot of "me time". Oh how she wished she was still in the BAU. At least most of their cases came with a better schedule.   
  
She did relish the fact she saw Hotch's eyes on her as she walked past him as he arrived to work, though it was strange he was on counter terrorism's floor.   
  
"Dr. Brooks," She saw her boss, [SSA Justin Hawker](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/35/Seeleybobo.JPG), and he called after her.   
"Yes, sir?"  
"We've got a suspect in custody."  
"That was fast." She had only just be notified.   
"And since you were a profiler, we want you to help run the interrogation."  
"_Help_ run?"  
"We called in SSA Hotchner for you to work with." Her heart hit her knees. _You've gotta be kidding me.... _She thought to herself. "Is he aware of the situation?"  
"Yes, he was briefed on the phone."

"I can't work with him." She said quickly.   
"Why not?"  
"I-I just can't."  
"You're going to work with him, and that's an order." 

_Fuck._

Hotch approached the two as they reached the interrogation room. 

"Hotchner, good to see you," Hawker held his hand out to shake the profiler's hand.   
"You too, Hawker." Hotch offered a sall smile and shook the other man's hand.   
"You're acquainted with Dr. Brooks?"  
"Yes, of course," He said, and nodded to her in greeting.  
"Agent Hotchner." She greeted softly, and instantly felt self-conscious about what she was wearing, so she crossed her arms over her chest.   
  
"So, I'm going to go in there with an ear piece and you two will be on mics. We need this guy's partners."  
They both nodded in understanding. 

Hawker made his way into the room, while Emily and Hotch stood on the other side of the two-way mirrors, starting to look over the information on their subject.

They were both quiet, but when Emily rubbed her bare arms, because the interrogation room was set to 60 degrees and she was wearing next to nothing. Hotch moved and draped his blazer over her shoulders.   
  
She blinked and looked over to him, as he went back to work as if nothing had happened, and her jaw just hung open for a moment.

"So, Mr. Parker." They both looked up as the other agent began to speak, and then both drifted back to their work, Emily sneaking a glance at Hotch nearly every opportunity she got.   
  
He noticed, but pretended he didn't. 

Emily spoke first, "I recognize a few names that he's acquainted with. Some of them are on our watch list. They're AB."  
"Aryan Brotherhood."  
"Yeah, but this part of it is radicalized. It's a lot more than just a prison gang, now."  
"Do we know if he's claimed he's AB, or if he's got any distinguishing tattoos?"  
"Not that I know of. But it sure as hell looks like he's got a lot of tattoos."  
"And he has no criminal record. Which is unusual if he's a member of AB, especially at his age. AB's a prison gang."  
  
"I don't think he's AB." She said, and paused. "The messages were.... not... something to expect from AB. But I think he wants us to think that he is a member."  
"Why would he want that?"  
"To distract from his real goal or to protect his partners."

She pulled a file from the table, "His threats were all directed at predominantly African American neighborhoods, so the white supremacy theory looks good on paper. But... something doesn't feel right. It can't be that cut and dry and to get caught as easily as he did, for someone working for AB? That's.... not right."  
  
"So what would he get out of threatening those neighborhoods if it's not a basic, white-supremacist agenda?"  
"I don't know, yet."

Hotch moved to the mic, "He's not Aryan Brotherhood."   
Hawker turned to the two-way mirror, stunned.

"But grill him on it. He'll slip." Emily added. "He'll know a lot about them, though. He's been trained for this." She paused and looked to Hotch. "Is Morgan available? We can see just how good of an actor this guy is."

Hotch pulled out his cellphone, and dialed his subordinate as he stepped out of the room. 

* * *

Half an hour later, Derek Morgan was the one conducting the interrogation, while Hawker stood in the other side of the room in case good cop/bad cop was needed. But their subject wasn't even budging. He was getting everything correct, saying all the right things, it was just too perfect.

When Hawker left interrogation room, he eyed them both, "Are we sure he's not AB?"  
Emily nodded, "I'd stake my badge on it." Hotch looked over to her, unsure.   
  
"Would you two be able to go to his place and look it over? See if anything stands out?"  
The former lovers nodded and looked to each other briefly, before agreeing to head out.

They got into Hotch's SUV, "So you're still positive he's not AB?"  
"Yeah." She said, "We just have to find what he's hiding. If we an get access to a computer of his, I'm sure we can find what he's hiding." She pulled Hotch's blazer tight around her. "

"So what's your theory?"  
"I... I'm working on it."

* * *

When they reached the apartment building, they got out with guns at their sides. Who knows what this guy had going, so they had to be prepared for anything.  
  
Once they cleared the one bedroom apartment, they met back in the small living room.  
"You know, what you're wearing is not very intimidating if we did find someone here." Hotch said, putting his gun back in his holster. 

"Some would say it's incredibly intimidating. Especially to men." She said, "Not to mention, let's see _you_ work in stilettos."   
"Fair enough."

"The computer is over here." She said, pulling on a pair of gloves and lifting the top of the laptop.  
"Does your team have a Tech Analyst?"  
"Yeah, we do. Bobby Gilmore." She said, "I'll give him a call, but I can also poke around on the computer. Checking site history is pretty common knowledge now, and a lot of passwords are saved on the computer or on the browsers, so as long as we can get into the computer, we should be able to check it."   
"What are you thinking his password is?"  
"I don't know. We're gonna find out though." She said, "Help me look for something that would be significant enough to him that he'd use as a password."

Hotch watched her out of the corner of his eyes as she moved about the apartment, and he could have sworn he noticed her doing the same.   
  


"He had a dog," Hotch commented, "There are quite a few pictures around the place of the same dog."  
"What's it's name?"  
"Lucy, according to this picture."  
She paused, "Really? That big tough guy had a dog named Lucy? Lemme see."  
Hotch shrugged and handed her one of the pictures.  
"Well, it's better than Bubbles, I guess." She muttered to herself, and she sat back down at the computer, typing in _Lucy_.  
  
_Error: Password Incorrect. Three more attempts._

"Do we have a birthdate for Lucy? It looks like he had her since she was a puppy. Or a death date?"  
"Not that I can see, but I'll keep looking."

"And see if she had a middle name."  
"A middle name for a pet?"  
She went quiet for a moment, and pursed her lips. "My cat has a middle name. Dexter Dean Brooks. I named him after Dexter Morgan from Dexter and James Dean."

"You have a cat?" He didn't know that. "With a middle name?" He teased.  
Her cheeks turned pink, "Yeah... Shut up."  
He chuckled. "I also didn't know you had tattoos."  
"Yeah, uh, they're new."  
  
"I'll be damned." She heard him say, "Belle."  
"Huh?"  
"The dog's middle name is Belle. There's a concrete paw-print over here with Lucy Belle on it, and the birth and death date." Hotch said.   
  


Emily typed in _Lucy Belle_ and the computer loaded into his home page. "Sweet success." She murmured, cracking her knuckles, and started looking through files and at his browsers.  
  
"Holy shit." She said, astonished. And Hotch looked over in her direction, before moving to look over her shoulder.  
"What is it?"  
"It's a virtual shrine to Manson."  
"As in Charles Manson?"  
"Hotch.... What if.. What if this guy's part of a new Manson cult? What if they're trying to start Helter Skelter?"  
  
"I'm calling my team in on this." He said, pulling out his phone and dialing JJ's number. "If there's a new cult, who knows how many members there are."  
"I'm going to call Hawker and let him know, and see if Bobby can pull anything else off of his computer. I think we're onto something big here."  
  
Within ten minutes, it seemed like half of the entire FBI was in the tiny apartment, and most of them were there late into the night looking for evidence or profiling the apartment.   
  
Hawker and Hotch finally decided there was only so much their teams could do in one night and decided it was best for the rest of them to get some sleep.   
And Emily and Hotch rode back together to HQ, so Emily could get her car.   
  
"Dr. Brooks," Emily turned as she got out of the car, as Hotch called after her. "I'd like to see you in my office, there's a few things I'd like to discuss with you."


	10. Back To You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hotch calls Emily into his office after they worked together on a new case.
> 
> Back To You by Selena Gomez is this chapter's song.
> 
> “Love is love no matter how old you are, and I knew if I gave you enough time, you'd come back to me.” - Nicholas Sparks

The two made their way through HQ, silently and once they finally reached the BAU, Hotch unlocked the door and gestured for her to go in. And she did.

"I'm sorry for doubting you." Hotch said, turning to Emily.  
"I would've doubted me too. But I just had a gut feeling." She shrugged. "Here's your jacket back, by the way."  
"Thank you..." He murmured, only now noticing some of the scars on her body, and he admired some of the intricate tattoos she had. She now had [a chest piece](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/a6/31/41/a63141cbc64d2ff9566c9f0961162f90.jpg), [a half sleeve](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/14/a9/ee/14a9ee25f9368995d679f88f2021879b.jpg) on her left arm, and [a thigh tattoo](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/0c/c5/42/0cc542b19f15bd384d45a330723ff757.jpg), that he could only see half of. And that's just what he could see, he didn't know just how many she had. "So who is he?"  
Emily knew what he meant, he was asking about the man she was supposed to go out with last night. He was able to tell by the way she was dressed, as most would.  
"He's a semi pro hockey player and going to medical school. But... he's no one... This would have been our first date. But I doubt after canceling last minute he'll want to see me again." She gave a dry, half chuckle and he gave her a half nod. "How's.. the woman you're dating?"  
"She's fine."  
"Good, that's good."  
And they both looked away from each other. But when they did both look back to the other, their eyes were desperate and longing. 

"I.. I should probably go." She said, turning and reaching for the knob of the door, but he caught her wrist before she did. "Hotch?"  
"I don't want you to go."

She slowly turned to face him, "Hotch..." And Hotch let his lips brush against hers.   
Making Emily blush and grab him by the tie, roughly kissing him back.

Hotch let his hands drop to her waist, and Emily's hands snaked around his neck.   
"I've missed you." He moaned into their kiss.   
"I missed you more!" She gasped.

Hotch pulled her up into his arms, and she wrapped her legs around his waist.   
He stumbled into his desk, and pinned her against the wooden furniture with his hips. "God, I had to try so hard to keep my hands off of you all night." He murmured against her skin.   
"And you think I didn't?" The younger panted.   
"I'm not dressed like that." He said, huskily, also panting. He wanted to rip the tiny dress off of her, and have his way with her on his desk. He was 99.9% sure she wanted it too. 

Hotch pressed against her, and Emily let out a small breathy moan, grabbing at his crotch. "Need you..." She moaned, and dropped to her knees, pawing at his growing, clothed erection.   
"Emily...."

She swiftly undid his belt, and his charcoal gray trousers, letting them fall to his ankles. Her fingers gently brushed up his upper thighs. She was teasing him and he knew it. She was seeing just how far she could take this before he actually had to do something. Even though it was nearly killing her not doing anything. 

But he was more patient than she was. She forgot for a moment, he was with someone. So his needs were being taken care of. Her's weren't.

So he smirked slightly when she gave in first and pulled his boxers down, and sweetly licked him. Hotch hummed contently, closing his eyes, and let a hand get tangled in her hair.   
Emily took him fully in her mouth, and she could have sworn he'd gotten bigger since the last time, but knew it was probably just in her head because she wasn't used to him anymore.

Hotch watched her bobbing her head on him, and licked his lips. It was surreal to be with her again, and to see her like this.   
When she swirled her tongue tightly around him, he shuddered. She was doing an amazing job, but he pulled her off him by her hair. He needed her. Now.   
"What's wrong?" She asked, slightly panting and wiping the saliva off her mouth with the back of her hand.   
"I want to have my way with you." He half growled, as she stood up, and he spun her around, so his chest was pressed against her back, and she was pinned against his desk. 

"Hotch..." She moaned. He bent her forward at the waist, hiked up her dress and tore off her skimpy underwear. Which made him jealous she would wear that for any other man. Especially a man she hardly knew. 

He roughly slammed two fingers inside of her and she yelped, "Hotch!"

It took her a few minutes to get used to even just his fingers.  
When she finally started rolling her hips back against him, he pulled his fingers out, making her whimper with want.   
But within moments, he slammed himself inside of her. She screamed and he loved it. He missed hearing his name on her lips. 

Hotch reached around her, grabbing, roughly, at her breasts, and thrusting hard and deep inside of her. "God, you're so tight." He moaned against her neck.   
"You're just fucking huge!" She gasped, as she was pressed into the desk. 

The wood of the desk creaked underneath them as Hotch let his fingers go back up into her hair and he tugged, hard; granting him more access to her neck and shoulder.

Hotch made sure to leave marks covering her skin. He was claiming her, making her his once again. "I love you," He panted against her neck.  
She moaned his name, loudly, and he slapped a hand over her mouth. No matter how soundproof they said these rooms were, he wasn't going to risk it right now. 

Emily reached behind her back and tangled her fingers in Hotch's dark hair, earning a grunt of approval from him, and he felt her getting close.   
"Hotch, I.... I wanna see you.... Wanna watch you finish." He slowly pulled out of her, making her whine, and he flipped her over. Her dress was hiked up just enough that he saw more of her scars as he did and he felt his stomach drop to his knees. This was the first time he saw the Reaper's symbol, carved onto her stomach. She noticed and looked away, ashamed and embarrassed, her eyes closed.   
  
He slowly reached out with one hand and gently caressed her cheek. "You're beautiful." He murmured, just like the night they first made love. "And I love you." His true gentle demeanor shining through, no matter how jealous he had been just moments ago that she was ready to sleep with someone else. He could only imagine how she felt when he started seeing someone new.

But here she was with him, and he loved that, and he loved her. 

She grabbed him and smashed her lips against his, and then shoved her tongue into his mouth, making him groan.  
Their bodies pressed together, and Hotch thrust into her once again.

Hotch had her moaning and begging for him in no time. This time, he kissed her to silence her.   
  
And within moments, she climaxed, crying out into their kiss.   
All the sensations sent him right over the edge. His body slumping forward into her, as they both panted. 

It took a few minutes for them to compose themselves, but they did, and they quickly shuffled to clean up his office.   
"Was this why you called me up to your office?" Emily asked, still a bit breathless. 

"No, but if I'd known, I'd have done it sooner." He gave her a small smirk, and she laughed.  
"So why then?"  
"I want you back in the BAU." Emily opened her mouth to respond but Hotch was quicker, "You're one of the best profilers we have." He said, "The team needs someone like you."  
"Hotch, I don't know if that's a good idea."  
"We can work with one another now."  
"But the sexual tension is going to be too much.... And this is going to keep happening. And-"  
"You don't want it to happen again?" He cut her off, as his heart dropped.  
"Hotch, I've told you, I want more than anything to be with you. But unless one of us gives this job up... We're going to get each other killed. Or fired."  
"I'd give up anything for you." He said quietly.   
"I know you would, and I'd do the same. And that's why this is a bad idea." She leaned in a kissed him sweetly on the cheek. "Bye, Hotch."


	11. It's Not Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily gets some unexpected news, asks JJ for advice. 
> 
> Song is It's Not Over by Daughtry
> 
> "If by my life or death I can protect you, I will." - J. R. R. Tolkien

It had been a little more than three months since the FBI discovered there was a new Manson Cult.

Because of the new threat, the counter terrorism unit and the BAU had been working closely together, much to Emily and Hotch's dismay, though Emily just recently took her vacation time, so she was happy she didn't have to deal with anything for two and a half weeks. They had been working on and off as other cases came up, and there were no true leads, only rumors and whispers on the internet.

But the day she came back, there was the strangest aura around the 30 year old profiler. She couldn't count how many people pulled her aside and asked if she was ok, and she hated it.  
In the task force room, she could feel eyes on her and saw Prentiss whispering to Morgan, and she snapped. "Take a picture, it'll last longer." She growled.  
"Whoa, hey, sorry, Em." Morgan threw his hands up.  
"Someone's touchy today." Prentiss added.  
"I... I'm sorry, that was out of line." Emily bowed her head.  
"Yeah, it was."  
  
Hotch came in moments later, and Emily got a bit restless. She wanted to pace and ran her fingers through her hair, so she got up.  
"Emily?" Hawker asked, "Everything ok?"  
"I just remembered, I left some paperwork regarding this case in my desk. I'll be back in a minute." They all watched as she left, but went back to their work.  
  
Emily made a beeline for JJ's office, and stepped in without knocking.  
"Uh, sure, just come in. I wasn't working." JJ said, putting a case file down. She looked at her pacing coworker.  
"Everything alright?"  
"I wish people would stop asking me that." She defended, quickly.  
"What's going on? Did you need something?" Emily gritted her teeth. "You don't look ok."  
"I'm not." She was slightly shaking.  
"Feel free to sit."  
"Thanks."  
"What can I do for you?" JJ was practically the team's therapist and motherly figure, since she was a mother.  
  
And JJ stared at the younger profiler for a few moments. "You're pregnant!" She said, happily.  
And Emily practically bit through her lip. "Is it that obvious?"  
"To a mom it is. And you're not acting like yourself."  
"Yeah I know. I'm overreacting left, right and center."  
"If you don't mind me asking..."  
"Hotch." She knew JJ was referring to who the father was.  
The blonde's eyes went a bit wide with surprise, "Oh." She blinked, "Does he...?"  
"No..."  
"You need to tell him."  
"That's the thing." She swallowed hard. "The doctors... They're saying, because of what happened with Foyet... the baby probably won't make it. And if I carry this baby to term, I won't make it."  
"Oh, Emily..."

"I already lost one pregnancy with him, and I can't do that to him again."  
"I didn't know."  
"Only Hotch did."  
"You need to tell him." She reassured the other agent.  
"How do I...? How am I supposed to tell him? How can I tell him that one or both of us might not survive?"  
"He's the father. He needs to know, especially if you have hard decisions to make.."  
"I know you're right. But..."

"Hotch will do everything he can for both of you, he'll give you his full support. You know he will. He'll hire the best doctors, and the best midwives. He'll keep you safe. You know that."  
Emily ran a hand over her face.  
"If you need help telling him..."  
"I can do it." She sighed "Thanks JJ."  
"That's what I'm here for. Now, we'd better go meet up with the team... Wait. Hasn't Hotch had a girlfriend for a while? How far along are you?"  
Emily rubbed the back of her neck. "Yeah, yeah he does. And uh... 13ish weeks."  
JJ sighed, "Well, now there's that."  
"Yeah."

JJ patted Emily's back, "We'll get you through this." And she looked down at her friend's stomach, and leaned in, pointing, "We'll get you through this too." She said sweetly. "Come on now, we've got a meeting to get to. I'll see if I can disperse everyone, or give you an out to talk to Hotch."  
"Just let me work right now, I'll talk to him tonight before we leave."  
"As long as you actually tell him."

* * *

The day had been productive.   
They were starting to narrow down some people they think were connected to the cult.  
  
And after four cups of coffee that day, they all decided to call it a night.

Emily had stayed quiet for the most part, not wanting to overreact, or let anyone know anything was going on.  
But she stopped Hotch as soon as they all left the room.  
  
"Can we talk?" She was quiet, and looking at her feet.  
He could tell it couldn't wait. "Of course. We can talk in my office."  
  
They took the elevator up to the BAU's floor, and Hotch moved swiftly to his office, while Emily moved a bit slower, kind of wanting time to slow.

"What's on your mind?" He asked as he closed the door. Part of him was hoping for a repeat of last time, but the other part of him was sure it was her asking to leave the task force, or the FBI in total.   
  
"Hotch... I..." She took a deep breath, and closed her eyes. "I'm pregnant."

His heart nearly leapt out of his chest, and he was pretty sure he wasn't breathing. "You're sure?"  
"Yeah."  
"How far along...?"  
"13 weeks, give or take."  
"And the baby's mine?"  
"Yeah. There's no one else I've slept with anywhere near the time I slept with you, and I always use a condom... Except with you, obviously... We can do a DNA test if you want, but it's yours."  
  
He moved to sit down on the couch and ran a hand over his face, he was in pure shock.   
  
"There's more."  
"More? What more?'

"The baby or I probably won't survive. Or both. Cause of what Foyet did."  
He put a hand over his eyes, but she could still see his nostrils flaring. "I want you out of the field, out of the office. I want you on bedrest starting tomorrow."  
"Doctors said it won't make a difference."  
  
He stood up, "I don't give a damn. If there's even a remote chance it'll save you both, it's going to happen."  
"They said if I even carry this baby to term it'll kill me."  
He closed his eyes, and she saw his lips tremble. She'd never seen him like this.  
"If I'm going to die, I'm gonna do it my way. And I want to be saving as many lives as I can." How could he argue with that? "I wan to be out in the field, I want to be working my cases."  
"Then I want you back in the BAU, so I can keep an eye on you. And you're moving in with me too."   
"I-"  
"I don't care. I'll fight for it. I'll fight for you." He said, "That's my child. And if I need to get a court order, to protect you, I will."  
She opened her mouth to protest, but she knew he needed closure with all of this.  
"Fine."  
"Fine?"  
"Yeah, fine."


	12. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hotch moves Emily in and they have to get used to living together, and have to get over their issues with one another or risk losing it all. 
> 
> Song is Home by Daughrty
> 
> "I don't believe in collective guilt, but I do believe in collective responsibility." - Audrey Hepburn

Emily had to swallow her pride as she moved in with Hotch. Though she still owned her apartment so the Bureau didn't find out that they were living together. 

"I think that's the last box." Hotch said, wiping sweat from his brow. 

He hadn't allowed her to move any boxes, so Emily looked up from the lego table with Jack, and gave a small smile, "Thanks."  
  
Hotch had offered her his bed, and he was sleeping on the couch, since the apartment was two bedrooms and Jack needed his own space.   
It was going to be an adjustment for all of them, that was for certain.   
  
"I'm just happy I didn't trip over the cat again."   
"You'll get used to him." She said, stroking the tabby cat on her lap.   
"I doubt it."  
"I was talking to the cat." They had both been a bit cold with one another. Hotch was upset because Emily "wasn't taking this as seriously as you should" and Emily knew Hotch was blaming her for his relationship ending with Beth, since the two didn't end on good terms, and Emily was upset for the uprooting of her life, and the overprotection. 

Hotch frowned but sat down next to them. "Whatcha making, Jack?"  
"A spaceship, like from Star Wars!"  
"A spaceship? Cool!"  
"You wanna make one, daddy?"  
"I'd love to."

"I'm gonna start dinner." She said, getting up, slowly. "Jack, what would you like for dinner?"  
"Tacos?" He asked, excitedly.   
"I can make tacos." She nodded.  
"Yay!"  
"I don't know if we have everything for tacos, Jack." Hotch said.  
The small boy pouted, but said "that's ok."

"Well, what do we have?" Emily said, on her tiptoes, trying to look in cabinets.  
"I think some spaghetti."  
"I'll see if I can find it."  
"I'll help." Hotch said, getting up from the small lego table.  
"Me too!" Jack said, happily.  
  
"Jack, um, why don't you go play in your room for a little bit? I'd like to talk to Emily."  
Jack looked between them, worried. "Are you going to fight?"  
"No, we're just going to talk." Hotch said, "Now you go play. Okay, buddy?"  
"Okay, daddy." And the young boy ran off to his room.

They both watched until Jack was out of earshot.   
"What do we need to talk about?" The faintest hint of annoyance in her voice.  
"Well for one, the attitude."  
"You're not my father, Hotch. Don't treat me like a child."  
"If you act like a child, I'll treat you like one, because you're carrying my child."  
"You have an attitude too. Or is it your ego?"  
He gave her his signature Hotch glare and pursed his lips.

  
"This isn't all my fault." She said.   
"I never said it was."  
"So you do blame yourself for helping put us in this mess and are taking it out on me?"  
He looked away from her for a moment; she was right, ego was a big thing to blame in this.   
"Cause I know I'm doing the same damn thing." She said, and looked down. "I'm just... scared." A tear creeped down her cheek. "And I wasn't trying to mess your life up with all of this."  
"You're not messing my life up." Granted, it was a huge change, but it wasn't being messed up. "You're bringing something beautiful into this world, and I'm going to make sure you're both okay." He said.

She started to cry, and Hotch moved over to wrap his arms around her. He was terrified too. What if he did lose her? He couldn't imagine. Foyet really might kill her yet, and it made him angry that he was still getting to them years later. She buried her face into his chest, and he stroked her hair and hushed her. "I won't let anything happen to you."  
  
Emily pulled away and wiped tears from her eyes, "I don't want you sleeping on the couch." She wanted him right next to her.  
"Emily..."  
"Please? If I'm gonna die, I want-"  
"You're not going to die." He wiped some tears away, and tilted her chin up to look at him. "But I will be with you." He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, "Come on, Jack's probably getting hungry."   
  
"Do you blame me...?" She asked softly, as she pulled away, "For your relationship ending...?"  
"If I wanted that relationship to work, I wouldn't be here right now, with you." He said, "I told you, I love you. That hasn't changed."  
"I love you too." She brushed away the last few tears. "We'd better see what we can make dinner." And Hotch nodded.

* * *

They decided on burgers and tots, since they had some ground beef and hamburger buns. Hotch watched as she was making the burgers and he smiled. He knew she'd be a wonderful mother. Especially with how she was around Jack. 

He stepped behind her and wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her shoulder. He just watched her work.   
They didn't say anything, and Hotch got lost in his thoughts about their life together.   
  
When Emily flicked some water at him and he snapped out of it, "Wanna go grab Jack?" She asked, "Dinner should be ready in five minutes."  
He nodded, and went to get his son ready for dinner.  
  
Emily worked on the finishing touches as Jack and Hotch washed their hands for dinner.   
"The burgers smell so good!" Jack gushed.   
"I hope they're as good as they smell." She said, and passed him a plate.   
"I'm sure they will be." Hotch said, filling up his own plate. 

Jack took a big bite and squealed happily, "There's cheese inside the burger!"  
"I did good, huh?" Emily smiled brightly, and the boy happily nodded.   
"These are delicious, Emily." Hotch said, in agreement with his son. 

This was what Emily had dreamed about for years: domestic bliss. A normal night as a normal American family.

As they finished up, Hotch got up, kissed Emily on the cheek, and tussled Jack's hair as he took the dishes to the dishwasher and filled it, since Emily had made dinner.   
  
To top off the evening, Jack begged them to watch the Spongebob movie, and they agreed, and by the end Jack was more than ready for bed.   
And Hotch led Jack off to bed, nearly half asleep himself, the movie wore him out.   
  
Emily slipped into Hotch's, now their, room, and started digging through boxes looking for some pajamas, and trying to organize some of her clothes.   
  
"Need help?" Hotch asked, as he entered the room.  
"I'm fine." She said, "I'm gonna get ready for bed in a minute. Just missing a pj top." She said from practically inside the box.  
He chuckled, "If you're sure... I'm going to take a shower, then." Half hoping she'd say she'd join him.  
"Okay."

  
When Hotch got out of the shower, he went back to his room in a towel to grab some clothes, and saw Emily curled up in bed with a book. "What are you reading?"   
"Walden."  
"Good book, I read it in college."  
"Me too." She looked up, as he was about to go back into the bathroom to change.  
"Hotch, I've seen you naked before. If you wanna get dressed in here, that's fine."  
"It's fine." He replied.

And he came back moments later in a pair of boxers and an undershirt.  
He pulled back the sheets and climbed into bed, laying facing away from her.

Emily watched him, then put her book on the nightstand, and turned out the light above her side of the bed. She snuggled down into the sheets, and feel asleep quickly.

* * *

Emily woke before the alarm went off for work, noticing she and Hotch were tangled and pressed together. She blushed, but didn't move, not wanting to wake him. 

There was about a 15minute gap between her waking up, and their alarm going off at 5am, and she just watched him.

Hotch rubbed his eyes as the alarm blared, slowly realizing their position, and slowly pulling himself away from her, turning off the alarm.   
"Morning." She said softly.   
"Good morning." He wanted to pull her close, and just hold her for a few minutes, but knew it was probably too soon. So he laid in bed for a few minutes as she got up and stretched before gliding over to the bathroom for a shower. 

He knew today was going to be interesting, to say the least. It was Emily's first day back in the BAU in almost two years. They knew the rest of the team was ecstatic, but none of them, besides JJ, knew the situation they were in.

Hotch got up, hearing footsteps back into their room.   
Emily peeked her head out of the bathroom, "I forgot my clothes. And there's no extra towel in here."   
He had never seen her freshly out of the shower, and he breathed, she looked beautiful. It took him a moment to formulate words in his head, "I'll go get Jack up, and bring you a towel."  
"Thanks."

He came back about five minutes later, carrying a towel. "Emily?"   
She stuck her hand out of the bathroom for the towel, and he passed it to her. "Thank you," She called from the other side of the door. She quickly slipped it around her, and stepped out, moving right to one of her boxes of clothes. She pulled out a turtleneck, a pleated skirt, and knee high socks.   
  
And he knew he should get his morning routine started, but he couldn't stop staring.   
When she noticed, she immediately felt self-conscious. "Is.. Is it the scars...?" She asked, wanting to scurry into the bathroom.  
He shook his head, slightly embarrassed that she noticed him staring. "No, no, not at all." He paused, "I'll let you get changed." And now was his turn for a shower. 

After he was out of the shower and dressed, he went into the kitchen to see Emily making Jack some chocolate chip pancakes.   
"Daddy! Emily's making me chocolate chip pancakes!"  
"They smell good. Huh, buddy?"  
The boy nodded, as Emily handed him a plate.  
"Want some pancakes?" She asked, looking at her feet.   
"I'm going to have some oatmeal, but thank you." He shouldn't have been staring at her, and he was kicking himself for making her feel uncomfortable.   
  
They ate and Hotch got Jack ready for school, as Emily finished getting ready for work.  
"Are we driving in together?" Hotch asked, as Jack got on the school bus.   
"It's probably better if we drive separately. So no one gets any ideas."  
"Okay." He nodded, "I would like to talk to you when we get in, though."  
"Okay."

They arrived about the same time, and rode the elevator up to the BAU together, but silently.

When they reached the BAU's floor, Penelope Garcia was standing at the elevator with balloons and a big cupcake. "Welcome back!" She squealed. "You're mine again!" Emily was half afraid Garcia found out she was pregnant, but sighed when it was just something for her return.   
"It's good to be back, Garcia."   
Hotch smiled down at Emily, and even though she wasn't looking at him, she smiled. "I still need to talk with you, before you get started."  
"Yes, sir." And they went their own ways.

"Welcome back, kid." Rossi smiled as he past her to talk with Hotch.  
The rest of the team was waiting at her old cubicle, and Garcia carried the balloons and cupcake over with her. "You'd think it was my birthday or something." Emily said, eying the gifts on her cubicle.   
"Welcome back, pretty girl." Morgan hummed, squeezing her shoulder.  
"Aww, look she's just glowing." Prentiss teased. And Emily paused.  
"She isn't glowing. If she was she'd be radioactive or-" Reid rambled, and JJ interrupted Prentiss and Reid by handing Emily a present. She knew Emily didn't want anyone to know she was pregnant, so she'd steer the topic away from anything that even resembled it. JJ knew when Emily was ready, she'd tell everyone.  
"Think of them as two years worth of birthday presents." JJ said.

"Thank you, guys." Emily smiled. "It really is like a family here. I've missed it."  
  
From Morgan, she got a bejeweled Starbucks tumbler. From Reid she got a small set of succulents for her desk. From Garcia she got an engraved cat collar for Dexter. From Prentiss she got funny office supplies, like sticky notes, pens, and note pads. From Rossi she got a gorgeous silver bracelet with her birthstone, aquamarine, which she couldn't stop staring at.  
"And this is the last one, from me." JJ said, handing her a bag. When Emily opened it, it was the softest kitten stuffed animal, and it looked just like her cat "You know, since you collect cat stuff." But Emily knew it was for the baby, and smiled. "Thank you, JJ." She almost whispered. 

"Nothing from Hotch?" Reid asked.  
"You're surprised?" Prentiss asked back.  
  
  
Hotch had been watching them from the top of the stairs with Rossi, arms crossed over his chest.   
But when Rossi descended the stairs, Emily knew she was going to be called into Hotch's office any minute.  
"Dr. Brooks?"  
"Someone's already in trouble." Morgan teased.  
"First day too, you beat my record." Prentiss laughed.  
"Ha-Ha, very funny, guys." Emily said, and climbed the stairs to her boss's office.  
  
Hotch opened the door to his office, and let them both in.   
"Looks like you enjoyed your welcome back party."  
"Yeah, it was really nice of them." She nodded, and they went quiet.  
"I'm sorry about this morning. I shouldn't have stared."  
"No, I'm sorry. It's these damn hormones. I'm going out of my mind."

He stepped forward, "You know why I was staring?"   
She tilted her head.   
"It's because you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. You don't need make up, or fancy clothes, or fancy jewelry,..." He eyed the bracelet Rossi gave her. "You're perfect."

"Hotch..."

He leaned in, and took her hands, pressing a soft kiss to her lips, and pulled away as Emily tried to deepen it.

Hotch moved, got down on one knee in front of her, and pulled out a tiny blue velvet box. "Emily Bianca Brooks...."  
"Oh my god."  
"Will you marry me?" 


	13. I'll Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If there's even a slight chance of getting something that will make you happy, risk it. Life is too short and happiness is too rare." - A.R. Lucas. 
> 
> The song for this chapter is I'll Fight by Daughtry

Emily woke up on Hotch's couch, with Garcia fanning her, and the rest of the team around her. She blinked, quite a few times. "Oh, good!" The blonde said, relieved her friend was awake. 

What the hell had happened? Her head was pounding. She was at work, so she knew she hadn't been drinking.

"I just had the most bogus dream...." She grumbled, as she sat up. "Ho-" And she looked over, Hotch had his arms crossed over his chest, and was looking at the ground. And she saw the tiny box on his desk, and she tried not to hyperventilate.  
  
"A medic is on the way up." JJ said, softly. "Your blood pressure probably dropped."  
  
"I need some air..." Emily breathed, heavily.  
  
"We'll go start our round table," Rossi said, "Hotch, since you saw what happened, do you mind staying behind?"  
Damnit, Emily knew that Rossi knew everything, and she frowned.  
"That's fine." The taller man said, and with that, everyone left.

"Fuck." The brunette put a hand on her forehead.   
"I didn't know you were that averse to marriage. Or is it just to marrying me?"  
"Don't do this right now, Hotch. Please." She begged, frustrated. "Please, my head is pounding, and I feel like shit.... Don't do this."  
"Can you tell me why?"  
"Probably because I'm a high risk pregnancy and-"  
"That's not what I meant. You know that."  
  
She fell silent, and looked away from him. "It's too much. It's all too much, too soon.... I, literally, just found out I was pregnant two weeks ago, moved in with you yesterday, and before this we weren't even speaking. Not to mention, we will get fired if we get married. And, I can't have your last name, if we want to even try and hide it." And she wanted nothing more than to be Dr. Emily Bianca Hotchner.

"Did you forget I'm a lawyer? I can-"  
"No, Hotch. I didn't forget. You threatened me with a court order last week." She snapped, sitting up. "It's risky enough living together. But marriage will screw us over, royally." She winced in a bit of pain, and laid back down. "Where's that damn medic?"  
"I'll go check..."  
  
She knew she was breaking his heart, and that she didn't deserve him. But she was trying to do what was best for both of them. But was she?  
  
"Dr. Brooks?"  
Emily was snapped out of her thoughts by a younger man standing in the doorway with a medical bag, and a stethoscope around his neck.  
"Yeah, that's me."  
"I'm Dr. Edenborough."  
"Can we just... Check me over, or whatever makes Hotch happy, so I can get back to work?"  
"Of course." He said, putting on a pair of rubber gloves, pulling a sphygmomanometer out of his bag, and wrapping it around her arm.

  
"So they tell me you fainted." He said,  
"Yeah."  
"Any idea why?"  
"I'm in my second trimester.. And I was... given a shock..."  
"Electric shock?"  
"A surprise." She corrected.  
"That could do it." He said, "When was your last ultrasound?"  
"About a two weeks ago."  
"Taking all your prenatal vitamins?"  
"Yeah."   
  
And he got the sphygmomanometer ready, and pumped it full of air, and listened. "It's 85/60."   
"So it's low."

"Mind laying back for me, lifting up your shirt a bit and putting your hands behind your head?" He asked.  
She did as she was told.  
He leaned in, but paused, seeing the scars.  
"I was attacked by a serial killer." She explained.  
"Any other wounds?"  
She sucked the top of her teeth. "The same guy assaulted me with a knife."  
"Sexually assaulted?"  
"Yeah." She was still ashamed about that. She didn't even know if Hotch knew that part. "I lost a prior pregnancy in the process... My regular doctor said with all the damage done, either I or the baby won't survive. Or both. It depends, I guess."  
"We'll do everything we can here for you both." He said, "I'm just going to see if anything is sensitive." He said, pressing on part of her stomach, "Any sensitivity here?"   
"A little, yeah"  
He moved his hands, "Here?"  
She nodded. "Yeah."   
"Here?"  
She hissed in pain. "Yeah."  
"And here?"  
"Not as much."  
  
"I'd recommend taking it easy for a while, if you're not able to go on bedrest. But I'd definitely stay out of the field." He pulled off the gloves, and she pulled her shirt down.   
"If only it were that easy... Can I fly?"  
"I highly urge you against it."  
"What if I promise to be really really careful?"  
He sighed, "If you have to... Just don't over do it." He said. "Other than that, is your pregnancy going well?"  
"About as well as it could be..."   
"Is the father involved?"  
She chuckled dryly, "A little _too_ involved."   
"Other than that, there's no indication of ill health. Make sure you're drinking plenty of water, take in a little extra salt. And refrain from any sexual intercourse until the baby's born."  
"Thanks," And she stood up with his offered hand.   
"Take care of yourself, Dr. Brooks." He said shaking her hand before turning to exit the office.  
"Thanks, you too."

She could see Hotch and Dr. Edenborough shaking hands and talking for a moment in the bullpen, before they both looked up into his office. Moments later, Dr. Edenborough had left, and Hotch was climbing the stairs to his office.  
It just clicked that the blinds were open. Had they been open when Hotch proposed? When they kissed? God, she hoped not. They had such nosy teammates, she couldn't imagine.  
  
She sat up, as he entered the office, and they just looked at one another for a moment, but Hotch finally spoke up, "What did Edenborough say?"  
"He said I'm fine." She said quickly, "JJ was right: low blood pressure. But he did say 'No sex' though." She got off the couch, "Can we just go to our round table meeting now?"  
"Yes..."

* * *

The rest of the roundtable was quick, since Hotch already knew what was going on, and Emily planned on being caught up on the plane to Los Angeles.  
  
"It'll be good see California again." She said, as she and the team walked onto to the tarmac. Especially if this was going to be her last time seeing it.  
"That's right, you guys don't fly much in the counter terrorism unit." Rossi said.  
"Yeah, we were mostly HQ based."

"Are you going to try and stop by your hometown while we're there?"  
"I might... There's someone I wanna see."

"How far is LA from where you're from?" Morgan asked, as they boarded the jet.  
"It's approximately 36 minutes from Los Angeles to Santa Ana taking the I - 5 South." Reid answered just as Emily opened her mouth.   
"Yeah," She nodded, "God, I've miss you, Reid." Making the other doctor blush and the rest of the team laugh.

* * *

The ride to LA was filled with chatting about possible theories, their UnSub was killing his influential victims by locking them in large steel drums filled with acid.

Which made the unsub look like a sociopath. Perhaps with some kind of agenda. "Do we think he's sending a message with these killings? They're all influential people." Prentiss brought up.  
"If he's sending a message, local police haven't seen anything, and they can't find a connection to the victims."  
"So he probably just wants to cause trouble, like a typical sociopath. And the best way to do that in LA is with celebrities." Emily flipped through her file.  
"What's the media saying about these murders?"  
"Nothing, the police are keeping these deaths completely confidential." JJ said, "They don't want to cause a panic, or lose tourism."   
"When this leaks, it's going to be big." Emily said. "But it's interesting, only one of our victims only has a high school education. Most have either a masters or above."  
"So not just influential, but also educated."  
"Yeah." Emily nodded, "Our first vic, Jamie Hernandez, is an Instagram influencer, but doesn't have much of an education. I think our unsub is connected with her somehow."   
"I agree." Hotch said from the other side of the jet. "I want JJ and Reid at the LAPD working with the media and on a profile. Prentiss and Rossi I want you at the last crime scene. And Brooks and Morgan I want you both with me, meeting with the first victim's family." That was strange, Hotch always went to the police department first.  
"I think I'd be more useful with Reid and JJ." Emily said, "I don't think we need three people to interview a family."  
"Are you questioning my orders, Dr. Brooks?"   
Emily looked away, "N-no, sir."

* * *

When they arrived, they all went right to their assignments, climbing into their big black SUVs. Hotch driving, Morgan in the passenger seat, and Emily, reluctantly, in the back.

Hotch and Morgan talked about theories, while Emily stayed quiet, like she had since they got off the jet. They pulled up the Hernandez family home about 20 minutes later. It wasn't the safest looking neighborhood. 

  
When Hotch knocked, a small girl answered the door, before calling for her mom.  
"Can I help you?"  
"Mrs. Hernandez?"  
"Yes?"  
"I'm agent Hotchner, FBI." They all showed their badges, "Do you mind if we come in?"   
She looked around outside for a moment, then stepped aside, and held her arm out, gesturing them in.

  
"Is this about Jamie?"  
"Yes, ma'am." Morgan nodded, taking off his sunglasses. "We just have a few questions."  
"Call me Gloria...The police already asked a lot of questions."  
"We're part of the behavior analysis unit of the FBI, we're here to understand the behavior of your daughter, and her killer." Emily said, looking around the living room.  
"What do you need to know?"  
"What kind of person was she?" Morgan led Gloria over to the couch, and sat with her, as Hotch pulled Emily aside.   
"Someone's watching you." He said, gesturing to the small girl, peeking out from around a corner.  
  


The small girl motioned for Emily to follow her, and she did.   
  
They ended up in a small bedroom, and the girl sat on the bed, Emily sitting next to her.  
"My name's Emily." She said softly, "What's yours?"  
"Can I see your badge?"  
Emily adjusted and pulled out her badge from her pocket, handing it to her.  
"Sophia." She said, "My name's Sophia."  
"That's a pretty name."  
"My sister is killed."  
Emily went quiet for a moment, "Was anyone mean to her before she died?" Now Sophia went quiet, before hopping off the bed. "Sophia?"  
"Mi harmano." She said in Spanish, meaning "My brother", and she pulled out a picture of the four of them, at a graduation, at what, if her memory served, was UCLA. She also recognized the three women, but the male graduate, she didn't. He was wearing a doctoral hood.  
"Can I hold onto this picture for a minute?" She asked, and Sophia nodded. "I'll be right back."  
  
She moved swiftly, back into the living room. "Hotch." She called, and the man excused himself and got up. Emily practically shoved the picture at him. "They have a brother. I don't remember reading anything about a brother."  
"Thank you." He stepped in front of Gloria, "Mrs. Hernandez, I don't like being lied to." Hotch's deep, authoritative voice sent a chill down Emily's spine, "Why didn't you ever mention a son to us?"  
"He is no longer my son."  
"Why not?" Emily asked. Gloria looked away, then looked to Sophia who was peeking her head around the corner again. Emily understood, and sat down next to her, "He was abusing Sophia wasn't he?"  
"He's a monster." Gloria said, crying.  
Emily looked up at Hotch, "I think this guy might be our unsub." Hotch and Morgan nodded. Before Hotch went off to call JJ and Rossi to tell them to meet at the police station. "What's his name, Mrs. Hernandez?"  
"Miguel. Miguel Luis Hernandez."

Morgan got up, "Hey, Sweetness. I need some info." He was obviously calling Garcia, and went outside to make the rest of the call.  
  


* * *

"So basically, the sister outed him as a pedophile and the other victims have all snubbed him, job wise, because of it?" Morgan asked Garcia through the car phone.  
"Basically." The blonde replied.   
"Why wasn't he arrested?"  
"Looks like there wasn't enough evidence to convict. And the victim couldn't articulate what happened."

"And it's just our luck he's a chemist." Emily sighed, pulling on her bulletproof vest. "He's probably been making, or stole, the chemicals he used to kill those people."

Hotch had the lights and sirens going as he stepped, hard, on the gas, to Miguel's house, which he was about to be evicted from.

The whole team, and the cops, parked down the street from his house, getting their gear together, when they heard a woman scream.  
Emily, who had been ready since they arrived, and Morgan, without half of his gear, took off running.

"Emily!" Hotch roared, his bulletproof vest halfway hanging off his chest, "Shit!" He cursed, pulling out his gun, and running after them.  
  
  


Morgan kicked in the front door, and was busy clearing the house, while Emily was out back, clearing the backyard.  
"We've got a large detached garage, with the lights on." She said, over the ear piece. And so Hotch immediately went to backyard, and called out orders for everyone else.

Emily was on her knees, picking the lock to the garage door, and bolted in, swinging the door open, as soon as she picked it, gun pulled out at her side.  
  
She was met with the sight of, what had to be, 20, sealed, steel drums. And she was also met with a rifle pointed at her. Her bright blue eyes starring into the barrel for a moment before looking at the man holding it.

"Drop your gun, Hernandez!" Hotch had appeared a few feet away from her, and JJ next to him, both of their guns drawn. While Emily's gun was still at her side, her nostrils flaring. There was no response from the man, "Drop it or I'll drop you!" Hotch snarled, and looked over at Emily for a brief second. She and Hernandez were locked in a stare down, and he could see sweat dripping down her forehead.  
  
"Hernandez!" JJ shouted. "Drop your weapon!"   
Hotch saw their subject look away from Emily, and he saw his chance to move in front of her, just as the rifle going off sounded, followed by two pistol shots from JJ's gun.   
And both men fell to the ground.  
"HOTCH!" Emily shrieked, dropping next to her boss.  
"I need an ambulance, I've got a federal agent down." JJ said into her wrist, and the rest of the team flooded in.

  
Emily saw blood leaking from his open vest, and she put her hands on his wound, trying to stop the bleeding. "Hotch, stay with me." She breathed, as she watched his eyes fluttering, trying not to close.  
"Pocket..."  
"What?"  
"In my pocket... Please..."  
She reached in his pocket, with one hand, the other still on his wound, and knew what she was grabbing the second she touched it. "Hotch..." She felt tears rolling down her cheeks as the pulled out the tiny box.  
"Please..." He murmured, "Marry me?"

She nodded, crying. "Yeah, Hotch. I'll marry you." And he smiled for a moment, before going limp. "Hotch? Hotch!"


	14. Life After You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song is Life After You by Daughtry
> 
> "I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." - Mother Teresa

Emily, covered in blood, had her hands pressed hard on Hotch's wound as the EMTs arrived, and she refused to move when they told her to. Morgan had to pick her up and pull her away, so they could do their jobs, but she was kicking, screaming and crying the entire time.

"Calm down." JJ warned, putting her hands on her friend's shoulders, "You've got a family to think about now."  
"What would you do if it was Will that was shot?" Tears were streaking down her face.  
"I know, it's rough, but you need to breathe. For your child, and for Hotch, who, I know, wouldn't want you acting like this, putting your baby at risk." Emily hated that JJ was right.  
"What if I lose him?" She whimpered.  
"You won't." JJ turned and picked up the bloodstained, velvet box and handed it to her. "Give yourself time to breathe, go visit whoever it was that you wanted to see. I'll text you with what's going on."  
"I can't just leave him. And I sure as hell can't drive right now."  
"I'll take you wherever you wanna go, Brooks." Morgan said, easing his grip on her. "But there's nothing we can do for Hotch right now."  
She dipped her head and let out a sob. "I need to go to the hospital. I need to be by his side." She'd made a commitment when she agreed to marry him, and she'd never break it.  
"Okay."

* * *

When they arrived, Hotch was already in surgery.

Emily started to pace as soon as they were in the ER waiting room, but JJ told her to sit, and she did.

Reid, Rossi and Prentiss showed up shortly after.

They were all silent, and they stayed like that for a while, just waiting for any kind of news about their boss.  
  
But Emily noticed Rossi pull out a flask, and take a sip. Emily was envious as she could possibly be. She could use a drink right now, but she looked down at her stomach, and put a hand over it, as she tried to comfort the tiny being inside of her. "Daddy's going to be ok..." She whispered, mostly to herself, and felt a twinge of pain in response.  
  
It had been hours, half of the team was about to fall asleep. Morgan was listening to music, JJ was reading a magazine, Reid and Prentiss were playing cards, Rossi had drifted to the nurses station, ad Emily was lost in thought.  
"Agents?" A doctor appeared out of nowhere, covered in blood, and Emily felt like she was going to throw up. "He's... stable. We gave him a few transfusions, and took care of the internal damage." Emily sighed in relief, and slumped back in her chair. "His whole left side took quite a bit of damage with the bullet fragments. It's a wonder that he wasn't paralyzed. But some of his major organs were hit, and we're concerned there may be complications down the line."  
"What kind of complications?"  
"Our main concerns are organ failure, more rupturing, a collapsed lung, or potentially even paralysis."  
She could feel her heart racing. "Is he awake now?"  
"He's heavily sedated, and we plan on keeping him that way for a while."  
"Can I see him?"  
"The recovery room is for family only."  
"I'm his fiancée, and I'm carrying his child, so I'm as close to family as it gets."   
"Right this way, then."

She followed the doctor down a long hallway, and they stopped in front of Hotch's room. "If you need anything, there's a button on the remote attached to the bed, and a nurse will be in shortly."  
"Thank you, doctor." She said quietly, and stepped into the small, dark room.

She moved over to the bed, and just starred at him, covered in wires and tubes. She couldn't breathe, and she started shaking.  
Emily grabbed the rail of the bed to steady herself.  
It took her a moment to get used to the sight of him. And she breathed deeply for a moment, before reaching out and touching his cheek with one hand and the other hand taking his.  
"This is my fault." She swallowed, hard. "I didn't follow protocol. And.. I'm out in the field, and I shouldn't be... Risking my life, risking my child's life... O-our child's life..."

"I'm sorry." She whimpered. "It should be me right there."   
She brought his hand to her lips and kissed it, letting her lips linger, and just inhaling his scent. The smell of his cologne lingering in her nose.

She pulled a chair next to the bed, and let out a tiny groan as she did.  
  
She took his hand again, as she sat back down, shortly before falling asleep.

* * *

Emily awoke to a feeling on her face, and she swatted it.  
  
Her eyes blinked open, slowly, and she saw Hotch retracting his hand, and giving her a small smile in return.  
"Oh, Hotch," She breathed, and did her best to not start crying. "You're awake."  
"I should be saying that to you..." He still sounded groggy, and his smile faded, "You're covered in blood..."  
"It's not mine." She whispered, and looked down. "You saved my life, Hotch. You saved our baby's life. You're a hero. It should be me in that bed,"  
"I'd do it again." He replied, "Everyday for the rest of my life. That's why I want to marry you... Speaking of which, you're not wearing your ring."  
"I wanted to wait for you to be able to put it on my finger."  
"Hand it to me, will you?" He asked, and she obliged, pulling the ring box out of her pocket, and handing it to him. "This is covered in blood too."  
"Yeah, a lot of that garage was covered in blood.... Morgan had to restrain me so the EMTs could actually do their job. I was scared shitless about you... I was on you like white on rice. I didn't want to leave your side."  
"And you never have to again." He pulled the platinum band, with one, beautiful, sparkling diamond, out of the box. "Can I ask you again?' And Emily nodded. "Emily Bianca Brooks, will you be my wife?"  
"Yes." She nodded, smiling. "Yes, I'll marry you and I'll be your wife." And he took her hand, slipping the ring onto her finger, before gently kissing her hand. Emily wiped away forming tears with her other hand. "I'm so in love with you." She murmured.   
"I'm so in love with you, too."  
  
They stayed like that for a while, when Emily said, "I'm so sorry, Hotch."  
"For what?"  
"For everything. For leaving you when I did, for us fighting, for not following protocol, for putting my life at risk, and our baby's life at risk, which put you at risk... And for saying no when you asked me the first time. For just, being a dumbass."  
"It's in the past. We're here and we're alive and that's all that matters." He squeezed her hand gently, and pulled her in to him.  
"What're you doing Hotch?"  
"I'm trying to kiss you." He said, adjusting how he was laying, sitting up a bit more, with a wince. "It's just difficult from this position."  
She smiled, and leaned in too, pressing her lips against his. Hotch immediately deepened the kiss, and put a hand behind her head.  
  
"Somebody's awake." They heard Prentiss muse, and they pulled apart.   
Emily straightened herself out, and looked back to see the team standing in the doorway. Reid and Morgan were carrying balloons, Prentiss was carrying a bouquet of flowers, JJ was holding a huge teddy bear, and Rossi was carrying a white box, which he moved to place on the table by the window. The couple wanted to see what was in the box before they heard squealing. "Brooks, how dare you screen my calls at a time like this!" She heard Garcia over Morgan's speakerphone.  
"My phone's been off. I'm in a hospital."  
"Well, that's... That's no excuse." She said, "How come you didn't tell me you were preggs!?" Emily looked over to Hotch, who was smiling to himself. "And now engaged?! I'm on the next flight to Cali."  
"I take it, if everyone didn't know before-hand, they do now."   
"That's why we're here." Rossi said, leaning over the box, "We're going to celebrate." He said, turning with a piece of cake for her and Hotch. "Think of it as your engagement party."

"I gotta see the rock." Prentiss said, leaning over the shorter profiler, to look at the ring on her finger.  
"Oooh, me too." JJ hummed, and Morgan and Reid circled her too.   
  


Meanwhile, Rossi was standing next to Hotch's bed. "See? Everything worked out."  
"And it only took me getting shot with a high caliber rifle."  
"I told you, timing is everything."  
"Coming from a man with three ex-wives."  
"But three successful engagements."  
  
"So how far along are you?" Reid asked, staring at her stomach.  
"About thirteen and a half weeks." She said softly, putting a hand on her belly.   
"Are you scared?"  
"I'm terrified."

JJ put a gentle hand on her stomach, and Morgan put a hand on her shoulder. "We're all here for you."  
"Thanks, guys."

* * *

After a few hours, the rest of the team was getting ready for their flight back to Quantico, and they had convinced Penelope not to come to California.  
But Emily was still there, saying she'd drive Hotch back when he was discharged from the hospital.   
"That's a 40 hour drive. Are you-" Morgan said, they were all standing outside Hotch's room so he could sleep.  
"Actually, it's 2,632.4 miles so it's 39 hours, driving at Hotch's normal speed of 67 miles per hour." Reid cut him off.  
"Crazy..." Morgan finished, slightly glaring at Reid.  
"We'll take a few days and make this a little vacation. And I'm assuming he wants to suspend me because of what I did. So, we'll have a good use for that time." Emily shrugged.  
"Oh, he's definitely going to suspend your ass." Prentiss teased.   
"Are you sure it's good for you to be sitting in a car that whole time?" JJ asked.  
"Well, I was told not to fly, and we've gotta get home somehow. We'll just take a few extra days."  
"Just don't push yourself."  
"I won't." She said, "Have a safe flight, guys."

The team left, and Emily slipped back into Hotch's room, and cut herself another slice of cake. She stared out the window as she ate, thinking about how different her life was going to be, but how happy she was going to be.  
  
She heard a groan from behind her, and she looked back as Hotch woke up. "Sleep well, babe?"  
"Come here..."  
"What's wrong?" She asked, and she moved to the side of the bed, as he reached up.  
"You've got frosting on your nose." He said, wiping it off.  
"It's damn good cake."  
"It's also the first time you've ever called me 'babe'."  
"I'll call you anything you want." She smirked and winked at him.

"How're you feeling today?" He asked, as she sat back down.  
"I should be asking you that... But we're fine."

  
"You had me terrified," He said, "When you ran, I... I thought I was going to lose you for good."  
"I'm sorry. I heard a scream, and I just... I didn't think."  
"No, you didn't." He said, "And I should have your badge and gun for that."  
"Morgan ran too..."  
"And he'll be reprimanded too." Hotch said. "You're suspended, and and when you come back, you're on desk duty probation, until I decided otherwise."  
"Fine."  
" 'Fine'? You're not going to fight me on this?"  
"Nope." And he blinked. "Have some cake. Rossi said he got it from the best bakery in LA."   
"Em..." He knew something was up, as she handed him a slice.   
"Hush up," She said, offering him a fork-full of cake.  
"I'm not such an invalid that I can't feed myself."  
"I know, but it's fun to baby you while I can."  
"Careful, or I'll make it permanent desk duty."  
She pouted, and ate the fork-full herself. "I'm going to see some old friends in a bit." She said, changing the subject and taking another bite of his slice of cake.  
"Okay." He nodded, "Just be safe."  
"I will." She got up, and leaned down to press a kiss to his lips. Which he made deeper, and licked her lips.  
She pulled away laughing, "I so knew you wanted a bite of cake."  
"Hush." He chuckled.

* * *

Emily made two stops, before reaching her final destination.

She stepped out of the car, and grabbed the box she had picked up out of the trunk before walking a ways.

"I've missed you guys." Emily whispered.  
  
"I know, it's been... too long. Eight years..." She said, standing in front of two tiny headstones, one for Dylan Pillock and one for Jason Pillock. She moved, and put the box down, in-between them.  
She pulled some flowers out of the box, and set a bouquet on each grave.  
She sat in the grass between the two headstones, for a while, just talking about nothing, trying to keep herself smiling, before she took a deep breath. "I'm engaged now." And she looked at the newer headstone. "And pregnant..."

She grew quiet, "I know, you always said you and I were going to have this life. A place of our own, great jobs, kids, a white picket fence, the whole nine yards..." She let out a small dry laugh, "You'd probably hate me though. I got a cat. And I know you alway wanted a big ole dog. To be fair, Hotch hates the cat too. I feel like he's more of a dog person too." And she explained to the headstones who Hotch was.

"Jason, Hotch's... he's amazing. Even though, he's almost twice my age." She looked down, "If you were here, I feel like you guys would hate each other. Both of your freaking egos, and your alpha personalities... But I know you'd be happy for me." She looked at the other headstone, "Dylan, I think you'd hate him too. He's all about rules, and you were the king of breaking them." She felt water on her face, and looked up. She didn't know if it was the sky crying or herself.

The sky had gone dark, and she hadn't noticed. Rain in southern California was rare, so she was anything but prepared.

  
"I've got a present for each of you before I go." She said, before pulling out three glass bottles. One filled with whiskey, one with Jägermeister, the other with vodka. "Jason, for you, I got your favorites, Jack and Jäger." She shuddered, even if she was an alcoholic, there were just some lines she didn't cross. "And Dylan, for you, I have the good shit, Grey Goose." She said, staring at the bottle, before dumping it on his grave.  
She opened the Jäger and the Jack, and poured them together over Jason's grave.

"I love you." She whispered, staring at Jason's grave as the rain started to pour, before turning on her heel.

* * *

She arrived back at the hospital, drenched. "Look before you say anything..." She said as she opened the door, "Hotch?" She moved over to the bed.

It was empty.

"Hotch?"   
  
She checked the bathroom and it was empty too.  
  
And she ran out of the room to the nurse's station, showing her badge. "Aaron Hotchner. Where is he?"  
The nurse blinked, "He was rushed into surgery about an hour ago. His BP crashed." Emily had to hold onto the side of the nurses' station, and her breathing sped up, dramatically, before she felt to the ground. "I need oxygen!" The nurse called.

Two nurses were at her side, telling her to breathe, when she waved them off. "Ma'am, we strongly advise-"  
"I'm fine." She said, pulling off the oxygen mask, still partially heaving. "I need an update on him."  
"We'll see what we can find out."  
  


She sat with her back against the wall, her head in her hands, and she wasn't sure for how long. She wished she had kept a bit of the alcohol she'd dumped n the graves. She needed a drink more than anything.  
"Agent?" She looked up, a nurse was standing in front of her. "Mind coming with me?"  
She tried standing up, but she was shaking so hard, she fell back down to knees, and she clutched her stomach.  
The nurse knelt beside her, "He's coming out of surgery now. One of the remaining pieces of the bullet lacerated his liver, ruptured his spleen, and he was bleeding internally, but he's doing much better now. The doctors said-"  
"To expect more complications..." Emily finished for the nurse. She was pissed they hadn't gotten those last fragments out. "Can I see him?"  
"Yes, ma'am." She The nurse stood up, and started to turn, "Um.. Let me get you a wheelchair."

Moments later, she was being wheeled in to Hotch's new room. She latched onto the bed, and pulled herself up to see him.  
He looked worse than last time.   
Emily reached out, and let her fingertips brush against his hand. "We just promised to start a life together... Don't you leave me."  
"I won't...."   
  
"Hotch..." She let out a breath of relief, as his hand reached for hers."What the hell happened? You were fine when I left."  
"I dunno... What did happen?" His voice was groggy. "Last thing I remember was watching you leave."  
"You ruptured your spleen and lacerated your liver.... Apparently," She swallowed hard, "They didn't get all the bullet fragments... " She shook her head, angrily, holding back tears. "And they're... They're saying to expect more of this... More complications."   
  
"Hotch, if you die..."  
"I won't.."  
"If you die, I die." She said. "It wasn't even a month after Jason and I got engaged that he died. I can't lose you too. It _will_ kill me." She looked down and put a hand on her stomach. "We need you."  
"I'm not going anywhere. I mean, the bureau probably won't let me in the field for a while."  
"Good." And he gave her a look. "That means we can be desk duty buddies." She gave him a small smile, and he rolled his eyes.  
"That's not funny."  
"It's kinda funny." She said, squeezing his hand three times.

* * *

For the next two and a half weeks, Hotch's strength had been coming back and he was healing up wonderfully. He was no longer confined to the bed, which, at night, the two lovers shared, even if it was a tight fit. But Emily was always on his right hand side, so she didn't touch his wounds.

Hotch had silently been admiring the small baby bump slowly growing, she was 16 weeks now. And secretly, with each passing day, she grew more scared.

They'd gotten closer, too. Their talks had gotten deeper, they were truly getting to know one another.

Today, Hotch was getting discharged, and they were thrilled, even though Hotch had resigned himself to wearing sweats that Emily picked up for him. Since he didn't have anything but suits in his go-bag.

  
"Reid said the drive should take about 39 hours." Emily said as she packed everything up, and pulling the bags over her shoulders. "So it's probably going to be maybe a week. Maybe more, depending on how much our bodies can take... We really are hot messes."  
"You're not carrying all of those." He said, trying to take one of the bags off of her shoulder.  
"And you're not carrying _any_ of them." She said, "I'm fine, and stronger than I look."

The nurse came in moments later with a wheelchair for him. "And don't you refuse the wheelchair." Emily said, making Hotch sigh as they headed for the elevator. 

Once they reached the parking garage, Emily threw their bags in the trunk of the car they rented and Hotch was about to get into the driver’s seat when she stopped him.   
“Oh no. You’re riding shotgun.”

”Emily I-“

”I know, you like to be in control. But you’re on some heavy pain meds. So get some sleep. We'll probably only make a few hours today.” She said nudging past him and into the driver’s seat.  
He frowned and knew she was right.

”You know, Vegas is on the way home.”  
”Hotch, neither one of us is physically capable of handling Vegas right now.” She said, pulling the big black SUV onto the street.   
”I was thinking we could stop and get married.”   
Emily nearly hit another car and had to swerve to avoid doing so. Several car horns blared as she pulled off to the side of the road.  
”Don’t do that.”  
”Do what?”  
”Don’t rush this. Please.” She was still getting used to the idea of being engaged.  
”Cold feet?” He asked, softly.  
”Hotch,” She ran a hand over her face, “I am ecstatic we’re engaged and having a family. But we still have so much shit to sort through. Especially with the bureau. We can’t afford to rush this.”

They both fell quiet, but after they were back on the road, Emily held her hand on the console, palm side up.   
Hotch sighed and took her hand, softly kissing it. 

* * *

The next week was incredibly tiring for both of them.

They did well though, making about 7 hours a day in the car and crashing in hotels at night.

And when they finally arrived home, Hotch was the first through the door, and dropped the bag, that Emily reluctantly let him carry, on the floor.  
”Daddy!” They heard Jack squeal as they made it in, Hotch crouched down as far as he could, letting out a small grunt, and Jack ran up and wrapped his arms around his father, and Emily gently rubbed her fiancé’s shoulder. She knew how much he’d been missing the small boy.  
”Careful Jack,” Jack’s aunt, Jessica, warned, “Daddy’s still hurt.” And she looked to Emily for a minute, “I don’t believe we’ve met. You work with Aaron, right?”  
”No, I don’t believe so. And yes, we both work together.” Emily held out her hand, “I’m Emily, Dr. Emily Brooks.”  
“Jessica Brooks. I’m Jack’s aunt.” And they shook. ”That’s a lovely ring.” She said, looking at Emily’s engagement ring.  
”Thank you.”

”Hotch’s mentioned you quite a bit. Thank you for watching after Jack. We tried to get home as soon as we could, but it was just hard getting home with what happened.”  
”It’s not a problem at all.” She turned to Hotch and Jack, “Ok, Jack. Now that you gave daddy a hug, it’s time for bed.”  
“Can I give Emily one too?”  
”Sure.” The small boy smiled and wrapped his arms around her as she did her best to get down to his level. “Now it’s time for bed.” His aunt instructed.  
  
“How are you feeling?” Jessica asked Hotch as the small boy was now out of earshot.  
”Like I was shot.”

“Babe, I’m gonna go put our stuff away and lay down.” Emily said, carrying two of their bags into their room.  
“Emily, I-“  
”I’ve got them. I’m not an invalid yet.” She said and Hotch sighed, watching her, just in case.

” ‘Babe’?” Hotch looked back at his ex sister-in-law, who looked frustrated. “You’re seeing someone?” She paused, remembering the ring. “Are you engaged? How long have you been together?”  
“Jessica, can we not-“  
”How long for?”  
”We dated three years ago for almost a year and broke up, then got back together recently.”  
”Three years ago? While Haley was in Witness Protection?”  
”A little before that.” He said, looking down. Jessica smacked him hard, and turned, storming into Hotch’s room. “Jessica!”

”Did you know about Haley?” Jessica was up in Emily’s face.   
“Excuse me?” Emily blinked, confused.  
”Jessica, Haley and I had been divorced for almost a year when she and I got together.”  
”Then how come that psycho went after Haley?” She glared at the younger female.   
“The reaper?” Emily asked and Hotch nodded, and Emily looked down at her feet. “I...”  
”Emily was attacked by him too.” Hotch explained.  
”I blame myself for that day.” She said softly. “If I’d been able to get him when he grabbed me... Or if I... If I’d been able to take the pain and stayed awake longer...” And Emily pawed at her stomach.

Jessica’s gaze softened, and Emily showed her the slash mark on her neck, staring at the ceiling.  
”Hotch did everything he could to protect Haley and Jack. None of what happened was his fault.”  
”Or yours.” He said softly, and put a hand over her hand that was resting on her belly.

”You’re pregnant aren’t you?”  
Emily slowly nodded.  
”How far along?”  
”17 weeks.”   
Jessica scratched her brow, and looked to Emily. "Aaron is family." She said, "That means so are you and your child."  
"Thank you."  
"I mean, we have the same last name, so who knows we might actually be family."  
"My surname was given to me by my foster parents, I have no idea who my family is."  
"Well, you've got one in us now." And Jessica gave them each an almost sad smile, "Congratulations."  
"Thank you." They said in unison.   
"Does Jack know?"  
"Not yet."

"I'll let you guys get settled in." Jessica said, and Hotch thanked her for watching his son before she left.

"I'm going to go tuck Jack in." Hotch said softly, kissing Emily's temple.  
"Okay," She said softly, and she moved to put their clothes away.

About ten minutes later, Hotch returned to their room, and Emily didn't notice. She was sitting on the floor, folding their freshly laundered clothes, except for a few pieces, laying off to the side.

He took a step towards her, and she didn't look up.  
"Every time one of us has been hurt in our relationship, or even in my last one, it's been my fault."   
"Emily..."  
"Jason's dead because of my stalker. I wasn't there for you the night the reaper attacked you, the reaper killed your ex-wife and you fought for our lives because I couldn't stop him. And you were just shot because I was reckless.... I'm poison."  
Hotch sat down next to her, rubbing her back, and brushing some hair out of her face. "I don't blame you for any of it."  
She rested her head on his shoulder and felt tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Let's worry about this mess tomorrow and get ready for bed." He said, standing up, slowly, and offering her his hand.  
"I still need a shower."   
"Care if I join you?"  
And Emily blushed, wiping away her tears and nodding. 

He led her off to the bathroom, and Emily's heart broke as Hotch took off his shirt. His wound looked so painful, and she couldn't imagine.  
"It's not as bad as it looks." He murmured, and placed a hand on her cheek. She tilted her head up, and Hotch pressed his lips to hers.

Hotch removed her shirt next, admiring her tattoos, and letting his fingers gently caress them. He knew she was trying to cover the scars with the tattoos, but with or without them, she was beautiful in his eyes.

The rest of their clothes came off rather quickly, and their lips pressed together again as they slipped into the shower.


End file.
